Tell a joke

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

Donald Trump has never had a garbanzo bean on his face.

81 million voted for Dictator Joe. lol

3 plastic surgeons bragging about their skills.

The first one: "I've had a patient who has chopped off 7 fingers in an accident, I've sewn them back on and last week he gave a piano concert for King Charles."
The second one: "I've had a patient who has chopped off both legs in an accident, I've sewn them back on and in the last Olympics he won a gold medal as a sprinter."
The third one: "I've had a cowboy with his horse who got run over by a train, there was nothing left but the bottom of the cowboy and the horse's neck hair. I've sewn that together and now he's president of the US."

Liberals are smart.

Ha, ha, ha.

I think I only know one political joke, too. Keep in mind this is from the 80s and I am Jew-ish: At an international function, a reporter mingles amongst the crowd to gather opinions for a piece. He goes up to a Texan and asks, "Excuse me. What is your opinion on the famine in Ethiopia?" The Texan replies, "What's a 'famine'?"

He then approaches a Soviet and asks, "Excuse me. What is your opinion on the famine in Ethiopia?" The Soviet replies, "What is 'opinion'?"

Next he approaches an Israeli and asks the same question. "Excuse me. What is your opinion on the famine in Ethiopia?" The Israeli responds, "What is 'excuse me'?"

*

Rocco : Now? A joke? Uh... um, uh... A joke. Yeah, alright. Um... There's these, uh, three guys, uh... a-a-a-a spic, a-a-a-a white guy and a black guy.

Yakavetta : Ninja.

Rocco : Yeah, n-n- Yeah. And-and they walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, "You wish for anything you want." So, he asks, uh-uh, Mexican what-what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, "I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the spics are in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy...

Vincenzo Lipazzi : Ninja.

Rocco : Yeah, that's what I said. Goes to the, uh- uh, ninja, says, uh, "What do you want?" And he goes, um, uh, "I want all my African- my ninja brothers in America to be back in Africa and-and happy and everything." You know? So, genie goes poof! And, um, all the ninjas in America are in Africa. And, uh, uh, uh, this is go- I'm not funny today. I-I know. I'm havin' a hard day. I-I-I- This joke sucks. It's-it's-it's a stupid joke.

Yakavetta : Continue the joke.

Rocco : So the genie says to the white guy, uh, um, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the ninjas and spics are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then.



*The Boondock Saints (1999); sourced from: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144117/characters/nm0000465

Little Johnny is having a walk with his father in the streets.
At a street corner they see a couple of dogs having fun with each other.
"Daddy what are those dogs doing there?"
The father being a progressive answers: "They are making a little puppy."

Next day in the evening little Johny comes into the bedroom of the parents without knocking, where the parents are having fun with each other.
"Daddy what are you doing there?"
"We're making a little sister for you."
"Ah, ok daddy, but could you turn mom around? I'd prefer a dog."

Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because Seven Ate Nine.
(Works better orally)