Actors Play Their Screen Personas, No Stakes...

Premise: A thief (Ryan Reynolds) is forced to team up with an FBI agent (Dwayne Johnson) so that he can get the three of Cleopatra's eggs before another thief (Gal Gadot).

Each of the main actors plays the blandest version of their screen persona: Reynolds cracks wise non-stop, The Rock's a roided out hard-ass, and Gadot is as mysterious as she is powerful. It's a fetch quest with the usual historical BS plot that might appeal to eight-year-olds interested in ancient Egypt. I almost always enjoy Reynolds' banter, though it did start to wear thin. Some of the set-pieces took a lot of work to choreograph, especially the museum chase in the beginning, but I never gave a shit.

At least in Mission: Impossible or National Treasure, the heists have stakes. Even protagonists in romantic comedies must flirt with emotional death, but in this movie there are zero consequences for failure. They're all rich, good-looking glamorous people, and if they fail, they'll still be rich, good-looking and glamorous.