Of course it's really just a euphemism for "stupid" in this case.
This level of "mercy" is really difficult to watch - it's not kindness anymore at this point, it's self-destructiveness.
Oh my gosh, I know. I think you can forgive people for certain things but not other things. Murder should not be one of them!!!!
shareAnd I just can't believe Debra went back to the hospital after everything she found out, and started believing him again! I kinda think women like that deserve what comes to them - not because I am so cruel, but because it's just hard to sympathize with someone who has ZERO self-respect.
I agree with you. Debra is a book smart business savvy woman but she is not a people smart person. I think she fall hard for John though that she just didn't want to give up that feeling of love but, I do thing you're right. People like that are frustrating!!!!
shareThere was another moment there which left me perplexed, to say the least. Debra said he hadn't actually done anything to her, when in fact by that point he already stole almost $100k from her.
Exactly!!!! I'm not sure what is wrong with that woman. I can't wait to see what happens in the next episode.
shareThe way she is depicted is as an airhead. They keep saying she is rich, but her mother has to give piano lessons and has a modest house in the flashbacks, so I can't believe they have family money. So maybe she is rich because she made out like a fat cat with her 4 divorce settlements. But someone who is so rich, (as her daughter keeps saying John is after her money) could not possibly be so dense as to not have a prenup or rush into a marriage after knowing the guy for only 2 months. Is this woman so air-headed and flush with money that she just doesn't notice that $100k is missing? What the fuck is wrong with her?
shareI thought she was rich because of her successful interior design business.
Although obviously that makes it all the more bizarre when a successful businesswoman is this unprepared for real life.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. If she was so successful as a business woman, then why would she not notice or care that $100k was unaccounted for? They played her as a complete airhead.
shareIt was based on the real story of her relationship with him - the real Debra Newell got back with "Dirty John" again after she already knew everything.
I saw an interview with her after the show, where she said that she is scared of dating now and she doesn't trust men - well, except that she really did the whole thing to herself! One would have to have very little common sense to become this sort of victim.
I agree. She seems to be the type of woman who doesn't feel complete without a man. And after 4 marriages, she should have stopped trusting men so quickly. It's like she couldn't learn a lesson.
I just started listening to the podcast, and she even talks like an airhead. Why is she giggling so much? Did this man actually try to kill her daughter? Why is she remembering this fondly?
"And after 4 marriages, she should have stopped trusting men so quickly"
I don't know the details of those marriages, but I feel safe in assuming she might have had some fault in the cause of divorces.
Maybe. Maybe they were the type of men who just couldn't stand a woman who loses herself in them. One who just drops all of her interests and becomes completely absorbed by theirs. I once dated a guy like that and it was annoying and exhausting.
shareAnd I would say that was your boyfriend's fault, not necessarily yours
shareI wasn't saying it was my fault. I was agreeing with you that it could've been hers. I know how frustrating it is to be with a people pleaser. Nothing seems genuine. What I guess I meant to say was "She shouldn't be giving so much of herself to these men."
shareWe agree. Thanks for the clarification
shareIt was even harder to watch the real Debra tell it. There’s a documentary called Dirty John: The Dirty Secrets. It’s not on netflix anymore, but you can stream it on USA. Hearing her daughters talk about how frustrating it was for them, and then she went back to him again.
An expert explained that on average, women leave their abuser 7-8 times. Debra was above average. She tells how when he threatened her daughter, that was the final straw.
idk, there have been people who really do change and turn their life around. The problem is recognizing if that person is truly willing to change or just conning you.
shareA mother shouldn't forgive the man who killed her daughter. That she maintained a warm relationship with him after everything is just wrong.
Why not? It is up to her to forgive, not you. I found that to be remarkable of her actually because I don't know if I would have the fortitude and the heart to do it. But just because I'm lacking, it's not up to me to take it away from others when they excel in character, a trait most of us can't even fathom.
Look up Louis Zamperini.
Because she has no self-respect, and that was the example she set for her daughter who apparently has zero self-respect or self-preservation instincts either.
I haven't watched this yet but I listened to the podcast where the actual people involved are interviewed and everything you say holds true there as well.
share