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Pretentious 'I accuse everyone" Hercule Poirot vs. Sherlock Holmes

posted 3 years ago by Rorikon (18378)
20 replies | jump to latest

Who would win?

Sacre bleu! I Poirot am the best and only best detective in ZHA WORLDO! Everyone else is second grade rating.

He comes off as that...

Why do the 2 movies always start off so slow and boring where you want to fall asleep before the action near the end? Even the build ups are dragged on. I actually was able to follow the story better this time than I did with the Orient Express.

It was nice seeing Russel Brand in this since I am subbed to his Youtube.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

I would choose Hercule Poirot based on his track record. According to my research, Sherlock Holmes was involved in sixty cases while Hercule Poirot was involved in eighty-five cases.

The word pretentious cannot be used to describe a great detective like Hercule Poirot.

Hercule Poirot relied on his gray cells to solve cases and would often ruminate on cases in his private study. Hercule Poirot also has an insatiable appetite for knowledge while Sherlock Holmes only wanted to learn about disciplines that would aid him in his detective work. Poirot realized that all disciplines would come into play in potential investigations.

Sherlock was also an opium addict and that would impair his mind over time. Hercule Poirot would never corrupt his gray cells with a mind-altering substance.

[–] Rorikon (18378) 3 years ago

Do you have a source on the amount of cases each took? There are more Sherlock Holmes games than there are Poirot games if any.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

I just did a quick internet search of the original works by each author. I didn't count video games. I don't know if video games or subsequent works would be considered part of the canon.

https://bakerstreet.fandom.com/wiki/Canon_of_Sherlock_Holmes

https://agathachristie.fandom.com/wiki/Hercule_Poirot

[–] Rorikon (18378) 3 years ago

Most likely not but they are fun to play even if in a expanded universe type setting.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1573720/Agatha_Christie__Hercule_Poirot_The_First_Cases/

Hmm, need to pick this one up.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

I played the L.A. Noire video game on my xbox 360 and it was really cool. It's set in 1947 Los Angeles and the player is a cop who works different cases in different divisions.

[–] Rorikon (18378) 3 years ago

Same, best facial motion capture expressions at the time and to this day, still is to some extent.

https://youtu.be/aL9wsEFohTw
https://youtu.be/D5eLf9sjdVk

https://youtu.be/TsKi5ZvB64U

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

Cool. That last link is so not funny. It might be worth buying the remastered version for the xbox one.

https://youtu.be/dfUAlRxGI1g * xbox one gameplay *

[–] Strazdas (2472) 3 years ago

>Hercule Poirot would never corrupt his gray cells with a mind-altering substance.

We literally see him drink himself to sleep in this movie.

[–] Moonglum9 (11336) 2 years ago

And Watson eventually got Holmes to stop using morphine and cocaine at some point if I recall correctly.

[–] Strazdas (2472) 2 years ago

Did he? i only read some of the books.

[–] Moonglum9 (11336) 2 years ago

I believe so. He even tried to get him to lighten up on the tobacco, but without much success.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

I think that if Holmes and Poirot ever had to work together, they might fight and argue at first, and gradually fall in love as they worked together!

Seriously, they both read as closeted and repressed gay men.

[–] Rorikon (18378) 3 years ago

https://www.salon.com/2013/02/03/the_case_of_the_celibate_detectives/

More asexual.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

That was a good link. My 9th grade English class was assigned Ten Little Indians by Agatha Christie and I believe that a broader audience can be reached when sex is left out. A lot of books with sexual themes will not be taught to students and they may even be banned.

[–] Rorikon (18378) 3 years ago

Yeah, just like what the right is doing right now with certain books with sexual themes they deem not age appropriate so they're banned/removed/taken out of the curriculum. The left focuses on racial aspect while the right focuses on sexualization and gender.

[–] Strazdas (2472) 3 years ago

Sorry what? You must be mixing up whose banning the books now. Or you are a time traveller from 50 years ago.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

There is nothing in the written record to support your gay theories. Homosexuality was illegal in Britain until 1967 and it has always been discouraged by the Church. Poirot was a practicing Catholic. Oscar Wilde spent two years in prison for violation of the homosexual laws.

https://www.history.com/topics/gay-rights/oscar-wilde-trial * gay Oscar Wilde 2 years in prison 1895 - 1897 *

There were love interests with women by both detectives but they are both too logical to get married. Detective novels usually focus on the case so personal stories are not always a part of the plot. Agathie Christie was influenced by Sherlock Holmes when creating and writing her detective stories.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

I am absolutely sure I know more about gay history than you, so don't start.

And yes, I'm quite aware that homosexuality was highly illegal in Holmes's and Poirot's eras, although Poirot would have lived to see the UK legalize homosex in 1967, when he was too old to do much about it (the last Poirot book was published in 1975). And when people live in eras when following their desires, they react in various ways, they conform to expected behavior as well as they can (Wilde was married), they sneak around for illicit sex knowing damn well it could ruin them (Wilde), they "man up" and live fairly openly as gay in spite of disapproval, and in some cases, they shut down their sexual and romantic feelings and live a life of the mind, or a celibate life of faith. Holmes and Poirot both strike me as characters who might possibly be gay men who just couldn't express their true feelings, and who are indeed living a life of the mind, because they couldn't see a way to live a life of passion.

Which is only a theory, of course, I know the authors didn't really intend the characters to read as gay... or at least, Conan Doyle didn't. Who knows about Christie, she really made Poirot just too fussy, delicate, and femme to pass as straight.

[–] joej2923 (3141) 3 years ago

You are entitled to your opinion but I did want to point out that your gay theories are pure speculation. I would also mention that both of these men lived in different eras and people of the past cannot be judged using the standards of the modern era.

There are people who would rather live a life of the mind instead of being controlled by their desires. I would argue that both Holmes and Poirot had a passion for their work since their work saved lives. These guys weren't making widgets or filling out forms. They were catching criminal masterminds and preventing future murders.

Poirot was written as a dandy but not all dandies are gay. Suchet was probably guilty of some overacting in his portrayal of Poirot but I'm still a fan of the show and the books.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

Of course my theory is only speculation, but it's speculation based on long experience of real life, particularly that part of real life.

As for people who'd rather lead a life of the mind than open up sexually, there are a hell of a lot of reasons that people do that. Some aren't neurotypical, some are just so into their faith or the field of interest, some are psychological hot messes, some are aware that their sexual needs aren't socially acceptable or legal, etc. Frankly, Holmes could be any or all of the above to a sophisticated adult modern reader, but Poirot...

Poirot really does read as a fussy old queen, with his twinkling shoes, girly drinks, and dyed hair! I have no idea what Christie's intent there was, she never really delved into Poirot's head, in most of the books she was described from the POV of other characters or the narrator, she based him on a "funny little man" she only glimpsed once, and his thoughts and feelings were always a mystery. And Christie was gay-friendly for her times, several of the books contain obviously gay characters, who are presented as being no worse than anyone else, she writes about them with acceptance rather than censure, so IMHO there's actually a possibility that she thought of him as gay, and was too discreet to say so.