One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen! (Spoilers galore!)
I only went to see this turd because two web sites mentioned it as a possible nominee for Best Picture Oscar. WOW! Was I ever misled! I give it a 3/10, and I'm being generous. That's two hours of my life I'll never get back again.
Where do I begin? First the total lack of originality. This is nothing more than a ridiculous mashup of The Creature From the Black Lagoon and Splash. But at least in Splash Tom Hanks fell in love with Daryl Hannah. Here Hawkins falls in love with a hideous gill creature. Not only that, it's implied that they have sex! Eeeeeuuuwww! GROSS! Bestiality! YUCK! That is some sick and disgusting stuff there! π£ And it was obvious that is was just a man in a rubber suit.
I don't like CGI, but maybe they should have used some in this bomb.
Now the stupidity:
1. In a top secret government lab, they let the cleaning women have pretty much total access to the room where they're storing a valuable "asset".
2. Hawkins' character Eliza and her fellow cleaning woman are instructed to clean up the room after a bloody attack on Michael Shannon's character. Huh? Security?? Secrecy??
3. Michael Shannon's character Strickland is a cardboard cartoon villain. He's mean just for the sake of being mean. And the government allows him to abuse this valuable "asset"?? PUH-lease! And did I mention that Shannon chews the scenery something fierce?
4. Then Eliza is able to just waltz into the room and have lunch with the creature, multiple times! And then play music for it?? Are you friggin' kidding me?? Who the hell is in charge of security here? Mickey Mouse??
5. Eliza and her co-conspirators are able to get into a top secret lab and make off with the creature?? What??
6. Eliza moves one of the security cameras, and nobody notices?? Yikes!!
7. The government is so possessive of this valuable asset. But what do they plan to do with it?
Kill it! Are you kidding? Even the government is not that stupid, except in this turd.
8. She fills the bathroom with water (to make love with the creature YUCK!) which leaks into the cinema below, and nobody calls the cops? Or at least a plumber? Right!
9. Strickland sees the words rain/canal and knows exactly where to find the lovers?? Yeah right!
10. Instead of diving into the canal to be free, the creature stops to say goodbye which allows Strickland to shoot him and Eliza? Holy cliche, Batman!
OH THE HUMANITY! This film was STUPID STUPID STUPID! I'm never going to pay attention to that web site again!
Bottom Line: Do NOT waste your time and money on this monstrosity. Go see "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri" instead. Now there's a good film!
π