Love poem, thoughts on 1st and 2nd drafts

This is what I recall of the first poem Paterson composes in the film, "Love Poem", in his first draft, before he finishes it:

Love poem recollected

In my house there are always plenty of matches
Our favorite brand is currently Ohio Blue Tip
But it used to be Diamondback
But that was before we discovered Ohio Blue Tip
It comes in the most perfect packages, blue and white
The font is even shaped like a megaphone, as if to say,
"These are the most perfect matches that have ever existed!"
Stiff and ruddy pine, with a purple tip
always ready to burst into flame,
perhaps to light the cigarette of the woman you love,
For the first time.

This is a beautiful poem. The attention to detail, the delight in simple design, sets up a subtle sexual metaphor (the speaker is male, and the "stiff pine" with a "purple tip," "ready to burst") and the final line is particularly nice. It made me have very high hopes for the film.

The next day, he "finishes" the poem, adding something involving, "Sometimes, I am the match, and you are the cigarette; sometimes, you are the cigarette, and I am the match," and it ends on the sentiment that it will never be the same after the first time.

The first draft is great. The second not so much, not quite the real thing, a modernist poem for people who don't really like modernist poetry, trying to explain itself too much.

This film, as well, is not quite the real thing.