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Refreshing Takedown of "Coming of Age" Myth


There are some things we universally accept without really thinking them through. Like the notion of "coming of age".

When we wear that, I think we think of a young person. From late childhood thru early adulthood.

Maybe this movie's greatest achievement is how it shows that coming of age is not restricted to a particular age group. We're always shedding our old skin and gaining a new one.

Having big questions about ourselves, our self-worth, our purpose in life; those examinations of our inner lives are things that help make our lives richer than if we were to grow into an adulthood where we put on the blinders, make or sell or trade widgets, feed ourselves, sleep, wash, rinse, repeat.

"An unexamined life is not worth living"-Plato. Therefore, to live an examined life means to "come of age" as a constant exercise in life. Beautiful. This is a wise movie.

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Very well said. And agreed. Can't wait to see this. I know, for myself, I never really experienced a proper coming of age when most "normal" people did. So here I am, a 40 year old quirky, flawed, and misunderstood but basically good hearted adult male still struggling with "growing up" (its not always that easy, people...don't forget about those of us who struggle with developmental disorers - both diagnosed and those of us not so fortunate), self esteem, trying to find my place in this scary world of "alpha" people, am I "stuck" like this forever or is change possible, do I conform to "normal" (if such a thing even exists) adult people/family and their pressures and expectations like I tried and failed to do before or stay true to myself and what's in my heart and live my own life, whether I should restrict my peer group, people I'm attracted to, etc to people of relatively my own age,... No easy answers I've found yet.

I think Mills explored these themes too in Beginners and Thumbsucker (great indie dramedies!). Especially Thumbsucker where it seemed like they were trying to say the "child" teaches the parent (or even feels more like the parent) just as often as vice versa. And sometimes kids ARE better with responsibility. Everyone is human and flawed in their own way. So, just my opinion, but I think people often get too hung up on age and age differences, when its all just a spectrum and we're all vulnerable, all learning from each other, all at various points on the spectrum/scale during our lifetime, sometimes advancing, sometimes regressing, etc. Sorry if that sounds a bit too New-Agey for some (like Keanu's character in Thumbsucker lol I liked him ::shrug::)...I'm sure my...ahem...wonderful mother would say so, maybe a bit "pretentious" (been called that before...douchebags lol), but its what I believe, so I'm not sure how else to word it.


"I like you 'cuz you're real. You don't pretend you've got it all figured out like everyone else."

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Both the original post (well written and eloquent) as well as the reply give me faith that good, smart, thoughtful people still exist in this crazy world we are living in now. Thank you both for the civil discussion and interesting thoughts on this film. I just watched it and am certain it will stay with me for quite some time.

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