It doesn't matter if the movie sucked or not. His post is still trash. I didn't say his post wasn't clear; I said it wasn't coherent. He's just rambling nonsense without any sense of reason.
No coherent story.
One of the "flaws" of this movie is that the story is ridiculously simple: The devil corrupts and outcast family into turning on itself, and takes the daughter as a new witch into the fold. Basic ass story.
The witch is an old lady, but also a hot voluptuous forest maiden, but also invisible (when she steals the baby), but also a goat? Or the goat is the devil?
The witch can change its appearance. Witch cannot turn invisible. You can see the witch in that scene. The only flaw there then isn't the story; it's the filmmaking in how that scene was shot.
Goat is the devil. That's explicitly in the movie.
entire paragraph (that's half the length of the post) to say how he wasn't actually paying attention to the movie because he was busy making out with his girlfriend. Also random reference to Babadook to explain how this movie must be worse because he didn't hate Babadook as much while making out
Yeah...I don't even need to explain why all of that is nonsense.
another paragraph from his diary about his girlfriend
There's no reason for you to be whiteknighting OP here, unless you're his girlfriend, but still that's weird.
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cyberbob (3488)
3 years ago
Like you're white knighting this movie?
Where can you see the witch in the baby stealing scene? Either she can turn invisible or she has super speed. In either case it's kind of stupid
There's nothing stupid with a supernatural Horror monster having super speed, but it's just used for one scene, which is true for almost all of tricks that the witch pulls
The movie is cheap. It just pulls tricks out of its hat and then does nothing with them and moves on to other tricks. We're never given a clear idea of the limits of the witch's powers. I suppose that since it's the devil acting directly on this family, the powers are basically limitless, those of a deity
The best that I can compare this movie to is a really nice haunted house. It's just a series of spooky and provocative images. Lots of scenes had me rolling my eyes. The old lady rubbing the viscera of the baby on herself REALLY annoyed me. I can't think of anything cheaper than using dead babies to generate shock. I don't think anything should be 100% taboo in Horror, but if you're going to show us an ugly old hag rubbing dead baby guts on her naked body then I think you have to earn it, and the movie didn't (IMO obviously). I can expand on this further if you'd like
Then the boy checks out his sister's tits and then the boy dies because he is seduced by the witch taken shape of a buxom woman. Ugh. 0/2. First dead baby, now young boy dying because horny. Robert Eggers is a fucking hack who thinks going for the obvious and easy is cool as long as you dress it up with old-time dialogue, nice costumes and pretty atmosphere
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acidraindrop (3055)
3 years ago
Like you're white knighting this movie?
Yes, I am.
Where can you see the witch in the baby stealing scene?
Again, try watching the movie, instead of making with someone.
There's nothing stupid with a supernatural Horror monster having super speed, but it's just used for one scene, which is true for almost all of tricks that the witch pulls
So, now you're defending the movie lol.
rest of your post
Okay, now those are fair criticisms. I actually agree with your thoughts about the dead baby scene; it didn't earn it, and we don't really get anything else like that afterwards. So it's ends up being an uneven beat in the pacing of the movie.
Robert Eggers is a fucking hack who thinks going for the obvious and easy is cool as long as you dress it up with old-time dialogue, nice costumes and pretty atmosphere
Now that, I disagree with. The film is simple, straightforward descent into madness. Not unlike The Shining or other films of that nature. There's not much more to it than that, but I appreciate the pacing and the atmosphere and the acting.
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cyberbob (3488)
3 years ago
Nope, wrong. The Shining IS simple. It's basically a three-tiered story:
Kid with psychic powers
Haunted hotel
Father on the brink of psychotic madness
Those 3 things come together and reach a boiling point, and that's it. The descent into madness in The Shining only describes Jack Torrance's character arc. In The Witch it would apply to almost every member of the family, although you aren't really given enough context to care about any of the characters except the protagonist. The mom goes mad as a bird pecks her tits off, but her character is mostly a plot device, serving as the antagonist with actual lines of dialogue (because Eggers chose for the Witch to be more of a presence instead of a true character. So he had to write a second character as the cause of internal strife within the family). The horny boy also sort of descends into madness, I guess if you found his arc from checking out his sister to giving a speech before dying fulfilling then good for you
I'm sure you do appreciate the pacing and the atmosphere and the acting. That is my whole problem with this movie. That's all that Eggers manages to do, is show us a spooky atmosphere with fog and a facsimile of 18th century speech and many things which OUGHT to be spooky, so they MUST be spooky. Clearly, the things you like about this movie are the same things which I hate, so I'm not gonna try to convince you that this movie sucks, but it does suck
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acidraindrop (3055)
3 years ago
That's what I meant; both this and The Shining are neatly simple. They're both just about descents into madness, Shining with Jack Torrance, and Vvitch with everyone in the family basically except the daughter, which, rightfully, the only one that we're really supposed to care about in this movie. I don't really think the son's or anyone else's arc to be that significant, you're right (but then again, I don't actually think Jack has one either, so maybe that's also why I regard these two films more similarly).
(because Eggers chose for the Witch to be more of a presence instead of a true character.
This is actually one of my annoyances with the film, especially when you take it into account with the baby mashing sequence.
Clearly, the things you like about this movie are the same things which I hate, so I'm not gonna try to convince you that this movie sucks, but it does suck
Indeed. To each their own, and I appreciate the dialogue nevertheless.
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