Tapeworm!
So I got some pretty surprising/upsetting news from the doctor today: I've got a tapeworm living in my butt. Not positive where I got this unwelcome guest, but I did take a trip to Bangledesh recently and ate a LOT of street food. I ate some *beep* called bong bong or chub chub or some *beep* *beep* that's probably why I have a three foot long Taenia solium living in hotel My Large Intestine. Oh well. My Life.
You never did.
-The Kenosha Kid