So is this a good list of minimally necessary MCU movies in order to "get" the whole story?

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Avengers: Endgame (2019)

This is a good list. Homecoming is less essential than Doctor Strange, though. Homecoming plays very little part in the grand scheme of things. Thor 2 is probably more important in understanding the overall story. or even Iron Man 2 & 3, just for understanding why RDJ was so important to the franchise

In no particular order

Age of Ultron - sets the stage for Cap wielding Mjolnir, also explains why Vision has the Mind Stone, and why Scarlet Witch can destroy it

The Dark World - Gives context to Thor's trip into the past

The First Avenger - Explains the Red Skull's presence on Vormir

The Avengers - Integral to understanding the return trip to the Battle of New York

Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2 - Introduces many characters, lets us know their powers and motivations and relationships

Dr. Strange - Explains how Dr. Strange and the Ancient One know the things they do

The Winter Soldier - Understanding who Robert Redford is, and the layer of deceit that future Cap is aware of, and capitalizes on, when he revisits the Battle of New York

Black Panther - Introduces Wakanda, explains why Cap and Bucky are there, and why they are able to help defend Earth from Thanos

Civil War - Gives context to Stark and Cap's rift

Ant Man and the Wasp - Introduces the Quantum Realm, explains why Scott appears out of thin air in Endgame

Ragnarok - Explains Thor's current situation, leads directly into the opening of Infinity War

Captain Marvel - Introduces Captain Marvel, explains her alien/human split identity and her abilities, and why Fury would summon her

Good list, but Civil War isn't really needed. You just wouldn't get the elevator scene.