I'm gonna quit weed and turn my life around...

Damn, this movie was a wake up call. See, I've been smoking a lot of weed recently. I like to hang with my buddies and get baked and watch weird movies. One day my buddy Steve suggested we watch this because it looked funny and Kevin Smith smokes weed so he would know what's up. I was like "right on". So we toked up and put this on. Normally we're all laughing and stuff, but for some reason not this time. We were silent. The movie keeps going and the sausage Nazis started attacking. I thought I heard Steve chuckle but I'm pretty sure he just coughed. I started getting all paranoid and stuff. Normally getting baked makes everything awesomer, but not this time. So I stopped the movie and I'm like "Guys what the hell are we doing? Smoking away our lives watch dumb crap on streaming services. And for what? This garbage? Talking sausages?? We've hit rock bottom dudes. There's got to be something better."

We all quit weed right there and then. Haven't touched it for a week. Started going to a gym and working out. I'm gonna enroll in a technical school, one of those "learn to code" things. Steve is thinking about enlisting in the Navy. Y'know, see the world and all that. Things are gonna be different from now on. Weed isn't the way you guys.