RANK ALL THE SEGMENTS IN THE V/H/S FRANCHISE

What is "Gorgeous Vortex"?

Anyway, all the ones I've now seen from best to worst:


Safe Haven - Crazy cult madness. Love it!

Dante the Great - Magician sells his soul for real magic. A great treat!

A Ride in the Park - Zombie-cam! Oh yeah!

Amateur Night - Annoying characters, but a great payoff.

10/31/98 - A rather slow build-up, but some great "all hell breaks loose" madness towards the end and an effective payoff.

Tuesday the 17th - The concept is rather better than the execution, but a slasher killer who is only seen as a fault on the tape is very clever.

Clinical Trials - Pretty workmanlike, but well executed simple premise.




Parallel Monsters - A really promising starting premise. Then monster genitals? Wtf?

Slumber Party Alien Abduction - Alien vuvuzelas are annoying as hell, as are the characters, but YAY for the dog-cam!

Bonestorm - Some nice gore, but completely annoying characters.

Second Honeymoon - Dull but inoffensive

The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger - Waste of time. The twist left me completely unimpressed.




Tape 49/frame narrative - The narrative segments are always the worst. This one was the least 'in your face'.

Vicious Circles - Some nice ideas, but stupid overall.

Tape 56/frame narrative - Horrible characters who do very little. Terrible!

I'm a huge fan of horror anthology films...

... the only decent one in the whole series is "Safe Haven"

Second Honeymoon: 8/10 V/H/S

The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger: 8/10 V/H/S

Parallel Monsters: 7/10 V/H/S Viral

10/31/98: 5/10 V/H/S

Bonestorm: 5/10 V/H/S Viral

Phase I Clinical Trials: 3/10 V/H/S 2

Tuesday the 17th: 3/10 V/H/S

Amateur Night: 3/10 V/H/S

Safe Haven: 3/10 V/H/S 2

Dante the Great: 3/10 V/H/S Viral

Slumber Party Alien Abduction: 2/10 V/H/S 2

A Ride in the Park: 1/10 V/H/S 2


If Gorgeous Vortex is considered it has 7/10

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