The strangely sentimental Christmas episode

Sentimentality is intolerable because it's a false feeling--Doris Lessing

Dan Schneider doesn't do Sentimental, thats for sure, in fact his shows thrive with his young audience because kids these days are pretty hip to things and they know even by the age of eight that all the junk they see in Christmas Card commercials is just that-Junk, an also a lie. Schneider Characters, for the most parts are cynics, and cynics are the natural enemies of Sentiment.
And the most cynical of all the Schneider characters are the children. And when is the time His child characters are the most cynical-you guessed it: Christmas time. Children at Christmas times are monsters, all their thoughts consumed with one thing-Christmas presents. they will knock an old lady down to get the latest Hot toy and trample the old bitty without a pang of conscience. Especially on a Schneider show. Schneider knows the difference between whats real and whats fake and he surely knows the new mentality of todays children, with their iPhones and Snapchat,Musicly, Younow and all the other social media apps. They are self obsessed to the ultimate power. Their ranks are perfectly represented on the show by Henry's little sister Piper
But something strange happened in the world. Dan Schneider produced a sentimental christmas episode of Henry Danger. Captain Man, the savior of Swellview, the man who keeps everybody safe, and who has dedicated his life to this principle, is thrown into Jail on christmas eve, because while serving food to the poor and destitute, he wasn't wearing a hairnet, which is perfectly twisted because such a thing could happen. A stupid law and bull headed public official could and would do just that, as they are slaves to anything written in the book of rules no matter how bizarre.
So what do the kids in Captain mans' life do, do they go right to the Schneider playbook of indifference to the problems of others-NO. Henry and Jasper, they find the dumbest laws in the book of laws and get themselves thrown in jail so they can keep Captain Man company. Wearing two hats at the same time, Taking photos of a bunny without a permit, and of course, even though they are children,and it's christmas eve they get thrown in Jail by the dutiful police, they take Charlotte in as well, because she witnessed it, so yeah, they arrest a 10 year old girl in her red holiday sweater, and throw her in the same cell as the boys and men-because, as the cop explains, it's christmas eve, the women's prison is all filled up.
So here you have these children, not concerned with presents, only concerned with keeping Captain Man company, though in the case of Captain Man, in the episodes funniest scene, he is not very happy to see Jasper, and even looks up to the Heavens and asks;" Why, what have i done to deserve this, why do you hate me."
Adding to the sentimentality is Henry's parents who get themselves throw in jail so they can spend christmas with their son.
But still,l all of this is perverse satire, the true sentimentality comes at the end of the episode, when all of the characters are feeling glum and depressed, locked up in Jail with a guy with no hair who is crying all the time, and no christmas Tree or christmas presents, or christmas dinner, it's is no way to spend the Holidays, and since the Judge who can let them out is away till Januarary, it is going to be a long wait.
The typical Schneider christmas episode would have ended just like that with everybody miserable, a little girl, a mother, locked up in a cell with the boys and Captain MAN and a crying bald guy. Then all os a sudden , Henry's father teaches a bunch of hardened criminals to play Jingle bells with spoons, and the mood changes, and everybody begins to smile and hug one another and sing Jingle Bells, and they kind of realize all they needed in the whole world, was not anything store bought, all they need is the love of other people. It's the only thing that matters. Still we are waiting for the scene to be shattered, the illusion to be blown away, but it doesn't happen, we leave with everybody happy and singing, delighted with each others company and the realization that they have true friends, which is the greatest gift of all.


Modernism is art without sentiment, it is art with integrity--ah why the heck-it's Christmas.