MovieChat Forums > Madam Secretary (2014) Discussion > Bad parenting

Bad parenting

posted 8 years ago by diadara
11 replies | jump to latest

I love this show but this upset me. The FBI asked for Jasons' phone code so that they could search it for malicious software and other suspicious material, NOT so that his parents could snoop around his private stuff and on top of that, punish him for what they found.
That is an invasion of privacy in my eyes. Yes he's a minor but it's one thing to be caught red handed or in a lie, but this is as bad as reading someone's diary.
It's hard enough living sheltered lives like those kids do, the meticulous surveillance should cease when they walk inside that house.

[–] monstermayhem32 8 years ago

Who would have thought jason had a wild streak drinking and wearing no shirt.

[–] bookworm-coslet 8 years ago

What kind of person are you? Because Jason is a minor, they need to keep on top of what he is doing, or don't you read the papers or watch the news. When parents take the attitude that you apparently have is when kids in the real world go out of control. And Jason is becoming a mouthy brat. The only thing about this episode I disagreed with is them not telling the kids why they were given the security detail. Hiding the truth won't help.

[–] diadara 8 years ago

What kind of person am I?
I am a single mother of two and I have never interferred with their personal life, ever. My son is 24 now but my daughter is 17 and at that age when privacy is very important. I always knock before entering her room, I always let her know that I'm going to go in there and why if she's not at home, I would never ask to see her phone, I never ask who's calling, texting etc. Why you ask? It's simple.
She tells me everything anyway. And so did my son. With respect for each others integrity we built up such trust that we felt that we could talk about everything.
So there has been no secrets between us. No need for snooping.

Kids will be kids and of course there have been incidents, but I'd rather hear it from them than to have to dig through their pockets while they're in the bathroom. That's just pathetic.

Never underestimate the power of diadara 

[–] VegasNanny08 8 years ago

I am glad that your children told you everything and never lied. However, Jason lied about having the account, and therefore lost his right to privacy concerning his phone, or anything else. While I think children do deserve some privacy, when it comes to the digital world, I think parents have the right to be more invasive. So many kids make mistakes and get into trouble.

[–] maryrosenkranz 8 years ago

I am glad you have a great relationship with both your kids. But not every family is like that. Kids lie, adults lie. You hope your kids are truthful & tell you everything. Doesn't mean it always happens. What may seem innocuous to them, definitely may not be. A child should be watched over. I don't mean spying, but there's a reason why kids get snapped in by predators. There's a reason there's bullying widespread on the internet. Not to mention, their kids. That's part of parenting when you keep an eye on their phone accounts. These are not diaries. As for the show, they said they made a deal with him. He lied & had another account. That alone, sorry I'm with the parents. However, he also was drinking, underage drinking. All this only came about because of the stalker. They didn't ask for his password to snoop.

[–] nananow 8 years ago

diadara: I thought the same about my kids but when they get to a certain age they begin to report the things they did as adolescents. I'm lucky my kids are alive and healthy, drug free and wonderful adults. I thought I knew everything; I knew very little. Obviously they stayed within the law or did not get caught, but they did not tell me "everything".

[–] diadara 8 years ago

Of course you're right, I wouldn't want my daughter to tell me everything, she's not obligated to. I didn't mention this before but I don't live in the US and I think that explains why I see things differently than maybe you and others. Our family lives in a small town with two pubs and a whole lot of fast food places. Drugs are hard to come by unless you know the right people and alcohol is monopolized by the government and can only be sold in one specific shop to customers over 21.

When it comes to my daughter, who's 17, I can't chain her to her bed. I've given up that thought a long time ago. When I realized what she was up to I accepted it and moved on. She and her girlfriends likes to drink wine one, maybe two times a month. The rest of the time she's at home studying. She calls me at least one time during the evening, comes home around midnight and always says good night. She has never done drugs, she despises them and has ended friendships because of them.

In the US I'm sure this makes me a bad mom, but where I'm from, it's considered normal. As long as the kids are safe, don't do drugs and stay in school, then if they want party a little, I won't start WWIII about it.

Never underestimate the power of diadara 

[–] Woodyswife11 8 years ago

You let your 17 yr old daughter go out drinking once a week? And then you say as long as she doesn't do drugs, that's okay. Really? Alcohol is as bad or worse than many drugs. It is addicting and can even be fatal, especially in teens, due to alcohol poisoning. I lost a wonderful student that was only 16. He went out and got drunk with his friends, passed out and never woke up. His blood alcohol was 4x the legal limit, which many people have exceeded with no issue, but he died.

You are her Mom first and foremost and it is your job to guide and protect her. I know you want to be her friend, but she needs her Mom more than she needs a another friend.

[–] VegasNanny08 8 years ago

Sorry, I totally disagree with you. Once they had the code, due to the security issues, the parents had EVERY right to check the phone out before giving it to the FBI. Do you really think the FBI wouldn't have given them those pictures anyway? To say nothing of the fact that this was after Alison ratted him out and said he had a secret Instagram account, which Jason admitted to. Only clueless parents would not check out the phone after that.

[–] wheelin176 8 years ago

I was taught not to write down such things. Everything's digital. I thought President Carter did something smart. When conversing with foreign country,write in long hand then snail mail it. No ones hacking that.

[–] slackersmom 8 years ago

It's not "bad parenting." It's simply a parenting choice. The fact that Mom's Secretary of State and the family is protected by a 'detail,' and that the family was hacked by some wacko might complicate matters, but parents of a 13- or 14-year-old child have every right to know what their child is up to. I'm not talking about snooping "just because," or because they can, but when they know their child has some radical opinions and is apt to be sneaky and contrary, the parents know they can't simply ask and trust. They may need to find out for themselves.

In 10 years the family might laugh about the 'secret account,' and how the Henry and Elizabeth found out about it, and in 20 years Jason might even thank them for keeping tabs on him.