"America" (Or even USA) makes no sense

I have been thinking about weird things of this planet for awhile now, and names do not seem to make sense.

America, for example, seems to be able to describe VAST land masses, continents, and somehow, even countries. Yet, you can have a country like Canada, Peru, Mexico, Argentina, etc., all of which exist within the a continent called 'America'.

Technically, it would be 'North America' and 'South America', which are two separate continents (depending on how you view the word 'continent' - just don't get me started on what 'continent' is..)

So now we enter the odd country that sits in the continent called 'North America', while sharing this continent with a country called 'Canada'.

Good so far, but what is the name of this odd country? It can't be 'America', right? This word (with a very interesting history, I might add, that has residue in why Washington D.C. has that pesky 'D.C.' in it) is supposed to be country-independent, referring to land masses called 'continents', and there IS no 'America', because there are only 'South America' and 'North America'.

For some reason, this country is supposed to be called 'The United States of America' anyway. Shouldn't it be 'The United States of North America'? But even that would not be accurate, because that would include Canada. So it should be 'The United States of a portion of North America'. The Civil War really put the name at risk, because what if south HAD seceded from the union? Then we'd have an even bigger name problem, because the States would no longer be United, so could not be called that.

Why would 'whether slices of a country called states are united or not' be basis for a whole name for the country, is beyond me, but it gets worse.

Let's look around the world and realize there are oddities, like 'Guam' and 'Puerto Rico'. These are supposedly ALSO part of 'The United States of America' - while NOT being states at all!

So why is the name 'The United STATES of America', when it OBVIOUSLY has more than just STATES in it?? This makes no sense!

Shouldn't it AT LEAST be 'The United States AND Weird Territories of America'? But wait, those territories are neither in North America nor South America, so ... this name makes no sense, no matter how you think about it.

Of course a name like 'The United States of Southern Half Of Northern America And Some Territories Elsewhere (defining these as 'polynesia and so on' would be a bit much) would be a bit too long for a name, but at least it would be more accurate.

It would still not address the problem of naming a country based on slices within that country, which seems a bit circular logic in my opinion. Why not just have a PROPER name for the country, like 'Canada' does? How about Colomb.. ooh, yeah, that name is already taken by a movie studio. I jest, but seriously, this country, such as it is, has a ridiculous naming problem..

..which leads to thinking about 'Captain America'.

Shouldn't that be something like 'Captain The United States of Southern Half Of Northern America And Some Territories Elsewhere' at least?

I see how it would not be as catchy, though, but hey, the least we can do is be honest, right?

Otherwise, nothing makes any sense.