Rate the Transformer films.

1. The Transformers: The Movie

2. Transformers: Age of Extinction

3. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

4. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

5. Transformers


With the new one probably becoming #2

1) Transformers 2007

2) Age of Extinction

3) Dark of the Moon

4) Rise of the Fallen

Transformers
Transformers: The Movie
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

COOKIES AND MILK!-Ed

All the films drive me up the wall for a lot of different reasons. So I'll explain the points that make them watchable for me.

1) Revenge Of The Fallen
This one finally included another character (besides Optimus) that was a fantastic adaptation of his original self: Soundwave. He had a uniquely brilliant alt mode; he was played by his original G1 voice actor, Frank Welker (although I really miss the use of the vocoder); he "ejected" his minion Ravage to perform his dirty work; he took full control of Earth's communications. It's rare in the Bayformers for the characters to actually perform completely according to their original bios, so Soundwave was a gem.

The size and range used for the Decepticons was incredible. From the teeny tiny 'ball bearings' that made up Reedman, to the giant Demolisher, all the way up to the massive Devastator, the 'Cons were quite varied in this one. I mean Devastator sucked (pun intended) but you have to appreciate the challenge to the animators. The Decepticons were represented really well in this one. In the other movies they're boring and generic.

They tried to use a mega-villain other than Megatron. The Fallen was sorely underused but perhaps his presence was too bold a move anyway (because really, he should have mopped the floor with everyone and ended the movie in 20 minutes). Shockwave was only a marketing diversion in DOTM and Sentinel Prime is an Autobot, and you wouldn't find many people who consider Lockdown to be a headliner. The writers failed with The Fallen, but they gave it a shot.

It was the only film to include female Transformers. Underutilized (and unexplained) as they were, it's still something that stands apart from the rest of the series.

Using the Witwickys as more than barely-funny comic relief was nice. Seeing them trembling with fear on the battlefield clutching Sam is something which, again, sets this movie apart from the others.

They killed Optimus. Sure, it didn't last, but it gives us a rest from the same hero constantly doing his thing. It allows the Autobots to branch off into more than one group, it built more tension for the protagonists, and the forest battle scene in general is widely considered the coolest fight scene of the series.

2) Transformers (2007)
My childhood has come flooding back to me. I personally imagined a live action Transformers movie in 1993 when I saw a t-rex come to life in <i>Jurassic Park</i> and immediately thought of Grimlock. Unfortunately I'm not a writer and I didn't go to film school, otherwise maybe things would have turned out much much differently.

If every single Transformer in the entire series was lined up in a row and you were told to identify them, you'd instantly know Optimus Prime (which is a good thing of course) and perhaps Jazz if you looked closely enough. The design of Jazz's head was extremely close to his G1 self, complete with a visor. The grill and headlight area of the vehicle forming the front of his chest was a decent giveaway too. Too bad they killed off the only other recognizable character of the series.

The Bumblebee/Witwicky child connection was very important. They had a close relationship in G1 which is essentially what made Bee so popular in the first place, since kids identified the closest with Spike.

An explanation for why they are called Autobots was not likely something a casual viewer would expect to hear, but definitely stands out as an "of course!" moment. It put a smile on my face.

Another small detail was Megatron's spiked flail. Since the movie did anything <i>but</i> remind me of the original Transformers, this was a very nice nerdy moment.

3) Dark Of The Moon
Prime's trailer... finally!!! And it even looks similar to his G1 trailer and transforms into a weaponry platform, of sorts.

The dweller was an interesting addition. Even though it belonged on Cybertron, it was fun watching it tear $#!T up.

Speaking of Cybertron, the scene to begin the film was nothing short of beautiful. For a movie about Cybertronians, this is the first really good shot of who they are. And when the artillery is launched against the Ark it reminded me of Galvatron's attack of the Autobot shuttle in TF:TM.

Finally another human G1 character: Carly. People go ga-ga over Mikaela but I'll take the original leading man's girlfriend, thanks. Spike (Sam--whatever) and Carly are meant to be.

How does Optimus kill Megatron? Just like the flail in the first movie, it was huge to see Prime whip out the axe in this one. Big nerd moment.

4) Age Of Extinction
This is #4 by default since I haven't seen it fully. There were literally so many things about it that bothered me I couldn't finish it. I've probably tried half a dozen times.

4. Revenge of the fallen- the movie that made this series a pariah. What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said? Robot balls, racist twins, humping dogs, farting robots, humping robots, non-stop sexual innuendo, the autobots are just background props while the military does everything, the plot felt like it was just being made up as they went along (and it was). For once, the fanboys had a reason to be angry. the problem is they never wanted to let go of that anger, and everything that came after this film was just doomed to be hated no matter what improvements they made.

3. Transformers- It was a good, harmless time at the movies that just about everyone seems to enjoy and yet hates Transformers 3 and 4. Why? what's the quantifiable difference? it's got all that goofy humor that everyone hates about Transformers 3 and 4, racial stereotypes, objectification of women, the autobots don't get nearly as much screen time as they do in 3 and 4. So why is this one still held in high regard, even to this day? What happened? Oh right, Revenge of the Fallen happened.

2. Dark of the Moon- this was the sequel I was hoping would follow the first movie. It has a way more intricate plot, the tone was far darker and mature, but didn't lose touch with it's lighthearted roots from the first movie. The autobots presence felt necessary to the film, unlike Revenge of the fallen. Oh and the action set pieces were some of the best I've ever seen. but of course the only thing anyone ever wants to talk about from this movie is DEEP WANG! Two and half hour movie and that's the one moment people use to define the film. Why? because it felt like a deleted scene from Revenge of the fallen.

1. Age of extinction- this was the best Transformers movie and it baffles me to no end how anyone could say it's the worst. Remember, this whole hate train started because of a pair of robot balls and couple of illiterate "black" robots. Age of extinction gave us Autobots with distinct personalities and adequate screen time, a darker tone, less military involvement, expanded mythology, and best of all: Optimus finally gets a character arc. but of course the only thing anyone wants to talk about when it comes to this movie is the Romeo and Juliet law scene. cause you know, they just gotta have all the ammunition they can against this series, right?

Can't wait to see what will be the "defining" moment of the Last Knight. will it be a joke about castration? A reference to lesbians? a blow job joke? place your bets.

DotM
Tf1
Tf:TM
AoE
RotF

The first one I legitimately enjoyed and still actually like. The second one was annoying as hell. The third one was the same story as the second but less annoying to me. I didn't bother seeing the 4th one at all.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

The first one and fourth one are my top 2 favorites. I think that Wahlberg and Bay did a good job semi-rebooting the franchise after Shia left. I'm looking forward to see what they do with the next one. 2 and 3 are okay, but overall they are not really compelling.