MovieChat Forums > Il racconto dei racconti - Tale of Tales (2016) Discussion > I imagine it went something like this...

I imagine it went something like this...

posted 9 years ago by yoyodyne808
4 replies | jump to latest

Agent: "John, baby, they want you in Italy for this messed up fairy tail deal. You play the king, but you only get four lines before you die off camera. You'll be on set for like two days, at scale."

John C Reilly: "A funny king?"

Agent: "No."

John C Reilly: "Pass. You know I hate to fly!"

Agent: "You get to touch Salma Hayek on the cheek..."

John C Reilly: "When's the next flight to Italy?"

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Agent: "Vincent, baby, the want you in Italy for this messed up fairy tale deal. You play a sex crazed king who has constant orgies with nubile young women except for when you have sex with a really old woman."

Vincent Cassel: "When will I get a role that challenges me as an actor? How is this part any different from my last weekend, or the weekend before that? Oh, the ennui!"

Agent: "So you wanna pass?"

Vincent Cassel: "No, I'll do it. Sigh.."

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Agent: "Toby, baby, they want you in Italy for this messed up fairy tail deal. You play a king who has a giant pet, uh... flea."

Toby Jones: "I've always wanted to work with a flea!"

[–] Ray_BLOODY_Purchase 9 years ago

Agent: Toast, I have a unique opportunity for you; it screams BAFTA...they want you to play a flea.

Toast: A flea?

Agent: A flea; and Salma Hayek will be there.

Toast: I can't stand that bitch! Not after what she did to me in that stage production of Clue!

Agent: That was Penelope Cruz.

Toast: Oh. Well, I'll do it then.

____
It's me....Bara...it's always bloody Bara!

[–] lantzn 9 years ago

Agent: "Christian, they want you and your brother in Italy for this messed up fairy tail deal. You play two guys who look alike.

Jonah: "I'm Jonah you idiot, can't you get that straight. Can't I just play both parts?"

Agent: "No, there's a lot of touching going on."

Jonah: "Pass. You know I hate my brother!"

Agent: "Salma Hayek plays your mother who is overly obsessed with you." (Thinking: or it that the other guy)

Jonah: "When's the next flight to Italy?"

[–] jcarpenter-1 9 years ago

Agent: "Guillaume, they want you in Italy for this messed up fairy tale deal."

Guillaume Delaunay: "Let me guess, they're gonna put bolts in my neck."

Agent: "No, but you'll lose your head over the princess you get to marry."

Guillaume Delaunay: "When's the next flight to Italy."

[–] Spikes_of_Fury 9 years ago

Agent: Salma, baby, they want you in Italy for this messed up fairy tale deal. You play a powerful queen, but you have a scene where you devour a disgusting monster heart.

Salma Hayek: I keep telling you! NO movies where I have to perpetuate the racist stereotype of foreigners eating unusual delicacies!

Agent: There's also a 16-year time jump where you don't age a day.

Salma Hayek: When's the next flight to Italy?

http://spikes-of-fury.blogspot.com