James Berardinelli review - *** out of ****

https://www.reelviews.net/reelviews/heart-eyes

Heart Eyes almost does it. It arrives with enormous ambitions and comes damn close to nailing it. Yet, even though it doesn’t fully deliver what the filmmakers attempt, it nevertheless provides a fun 90-odd minutes whose beats are like that of a familiar tune played in a different key. The trailers paint Heart Eyes as a run-of-the-mill slasher film with a holiday theme. It’s not, or at least not really. Instead, it’s a standard-order romantic comedy (think Hallmark Channel) with elements of an over-the-top slasher film fused into its DNA. It’s self-aware and unafraid to poke fun. The rom-com elements deliver a little sincerity and saccharine while there’s plenty of gore to keep horror fans engaged.

Initially, I thought I was watching a bad movie but that’s because I made the mistake of seeing a trailer and it warped my expectations. Then it dawned on me that all the worn-out tropes, silly dialogue, and idiotic plot points are not expected to be taken seriously. The filmmakers endlessly toy with the audience. And for those who don’t get it early on, it becomes abundantly clear when the screenplay tosses out a Fast and Furious joke that Jordana Brewster doesn’t get.

I love what the movie is trying to do even if everything doesn’t quite gel. Director Josh Ruben and his trio of writers (Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy, Phillip Murphy) demonstrate an understanding of the underlying genres they are parodying and have a keen sense of how to satirize them, although they do a better job with the slasher/gory stuff than the rom-com/lovey-dovey material. The best approach may be to think of Heart Eyes as a rom-com where the serial killer element functions as the “romantic complications.” In this case, however, instead of an ex-lover, it’s a lunatic with a knife and a mask with two glowing hearts as eyes.

Heart Eyes opens with a Scream-inspired self-contained murder scene that introduces the so-called “Heart Eyes Killer” – a lunatic who spends Valentine’s Day staging elaborate couples’ murders using his own version of Cupid’s favored instrument (accessorized with a machete). Two years ago, he did his thing in Boston. Then it was Philadelphia. Now, it’s Seattle. But never fear, intrepid detectives Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Jordana Brewster) are on the case.

The movie pauses the horror angle to start in on the rom-com stuff. Ally (Olivia Holt) is a down-on-her-luck ad agent whose latest project is as far down the toilet as her love life. That’s her situation when she encounters Jay (Mason Gooding) at a café where they both improbably order the same overly-complicated drink. Then – surprise! – Jay shows up at Ally’s place-of-work as the new hotshot fixer brought in to save Ally’s latest campaign. The two spend the day together, ostensibly talking about work but really falling in love. They do lots of cute rom-com things. They stage a kiss to make Ally’s ex jealous. That’s when the Heart Eyes Killer enters their lives.

Sure, a lot of the film is these two running away while people around them get butchered. But, in true rom-com fashion, it’s all just window dressing. Heart Eyes is really about Ally and Jay meeting cute, falling in love, and traipsing down the Yellow Brick Road of Movie Cliches. (With His Girl Friday seemingly always playing in the background.) There’s even an airport scene because what self-respecting rom-com wouldn’t have one of those? Oh, there’s a closet scene too, but that’s part-and-parcel of the slasher aspect.

One gripe I have is with the acting. Mason Gooding is charming enough as Jay but Olivia Holt is rather bland. Most unfortunately, two don’t have the requisite level of chemistry to fully sell the rom-com elements. Devon Sawa and Jordana Brewster are amusing enough in their parody-detective roles but neither could be considered a standout.

The whole thing is so absurd that it’s impossible to take seriously. Which is the point. Toward the end of the first surge of slasher movies (and before Wes Craven made A New Nightmare), there was an evident level of satire creeping into the genre but it took Craven to unmask it. With Heart Eyes, Ruben has again upped the game, acting like a mad scientist by mixing these two disparate ingredients into an unholy concoction. The result is kind of messy but mostly enjoyable. It’s not the best slasher parody I have seen but it’s the first time I can recall one going full rom-com right in the middle of everything.