Do you ever think that fate is "pushing back"?

Yes. Absolutely. And while we obviously don't want to use such explanations as an excuse, there's a lot of reason to believe "fate" exists, even though we can't have an objective enough overview to understand it.

I mean, consider all the identical twins separated at birth who wind up, fifty years later, meeting for the first time and it turns out they're living in the same bungalo in Antibes married to a woman with the same birthdays and with the same names, and using the same designer toothpaste from Hong Kong no one's ever heard of shipped in monthly.

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Like some force is working against you?

Like some force is working against you?

In real life? No, not really. But I have dreams like this all the time.

this is why i stopped gambling

Yes - a lot. I've discovered though that every time I fall down I realize I was a *beep* person when I was doing well. Then I improve and get up and then fall down again and realize there was something else about me that was bad, and on and on it goes.

Every day

Absolutely. In fact disturbingly so. My life seems to be a cycle of grand repeats and seemingly no ability to break the cycles.