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Could their relationship work in real life?

posted 12 years ago by number9-4
8 replies | jump to latest

Don't get me wrong, I thought it was sweet and touching that Molly was willing to make the sacrifice of dealing with his memory because she had fallen in love with him. She at least was willing to try.

But could their relationship really last? I know they made Gus tell his friend that he loved Molly, but if every day was really as though you were meeting them for the first time, could you ever really experience the true sensation of love?

What if what he was feeling was just the typical stuff everyone feels when they meet someone really great, but if he actually didn't have his memory problem, he'd eventually realize that he and Molly aren't that good of a match, and it's just the fact that she's cute and pretty and nice that's making him say he loves her? Or is it possible for him to still feel love for her because he has his notes, and even though he can't remember it, he knows all the experiences they've been through and that she's been there for him through the years, etc.?

I guess it's irrelevant to Gus, because sadly, he never could experience love in the sense that the rest of us do, with his memory problems. But is it at all realistic that Molly would stay with him, when she's not even positive he would indeed love her if he got to know her the way a person without short-term amnesia could?

I guess it's not impossible, since some people stay in far unhealthier relationships. But maybe what I'm more curious about, then, is whether it's even realistic that Molly would say SHE had fallen in love with Gus, when she doesn't know the true nature of his feelings and doesn't really know the true him, either. As long as she may be in his life, he's still acting each day as though he's around someone he just met, and therefore not being his true self.

[–] TxMike 12 years ago

Yes, it could work. The same way parents stick with a severely handicapped child, and make it work. There is a word that describes it ... LOVE.

Unfortunately few people nowadays seem to understand what love really is. They think love is a good feeling they get from being with someone. No, that is not love. Love in its truest form is a decision, a commitment, to be with and care for someone through thick and thin, and to help that other person achieve happiness in their life. If a Molly in real life had that outlook, real love for Gus, then sure it would work, as long as Gus also allowed it to work.

TxMike
Make a choice, to take a chance, to make a difference.

[–] number9-4 12 years ago

You seem to be overlooking the main points of my post.

Gus' "love" for Molly is based on his first impression of her. Her looks, niceness and the feeling he gets when he's meeting her for the first time everyday. So don't tell me I don't know what love is. As I said in the OP, maybe Gus wouldn't feel the same way about her if he had his memory and actually got to know her deep down like a person with a normal memory could. And you're also ignoring the point I made about Molly not truly getting to know him if he's acting everyday as though he just met her for the first time. So in that respect, they're both operating on "a good feeling they get from being with someone."

If anyone could truly love anyone else and be happy the rest of their life with them, and the only thing that matters is that they're a nice person who you can have a pleasant time with, then we could all just have arranged marriages as long as the person passes some mandatory psychological test and isn't a psycho.

Love for one's child is completely different from love for their life partner. You love a child before it's even born, but it takes a while to truly fall in love with someone romantically. As many people will say, you can't truly love someone if you don't truly know them, and while I'm not saying Gus and Molly couldn't have fallen truly in love if he didn't have his memory problems, technically they also don't know they WOULD.

[–] TxMike 12 years ago

...As many people will say, you can't truly love someone if you don't truly know them

And by making that comment you have just validated my point. Because the fact is you can truly love someone even if you don't truly know them, because "to love" is a decision you make, not a feeling you have. Granted, it is easier to truly love someone you know very well and like, but everyone does that. It isn't work at all. But to love someone you don't really know takes more courage and dedication.

So to answer the subject of your OP, yes their relationship could work in real life. It would be more difficult than some, but perhaps also easier than some, especially those that end up in divorce!

TxMike
Make a choice, to take a chance, to make a difference.

[–] number9-4 12 years ago

Obviously this is going to have to be an "agree to disagree" thing.

Because I'm talking about the distinction between the unique way you love a life partner and the way you love other people in a Christ-like, "We're all human being so we're supposed to love one another" way. You love your kids, friends, parents, extended family and romantic partner, but all in different ways, though the types of love also have some general characteristics in common.

But Molly didn't just randomly pick Gus and say, "I'm going to love him." There was some feeling she got from being around him (and you'll recall that at first she at least just said she really "liked" him) that made her eventually say, "I love him." They both said it. It wasn't just measured by their actions.

So what I was trying to generate discussion about is whether it's realistic for either of them to say they "love" each other in that sense. To some extent, I think Hallmark made an otherwise fairly realistic movie into a "Fairy tales really do happen/Love at first sight does exist!" campaign, because it would be awfully hard to make the case that they truly were these soul mates if they didn't even really know each other. Then again, that's the type of thing that the concept of soul mates operates on, so maybe that's their point.

[–] kristen1165 10 years ago

because "to love" is a decision you make, not a feeling you have.

I don't agree with that at all. I could decide I'm going to love Brad Pitt, but how can I when I don't know him?

🍒🍌

[–] bjamzilla 9 years ago

I agree with TxMike. Love is a choice. You don't need to know someone to love them. I know that seems weird, but it really isn't. Parents love their children and don't know anything about them. They don't know if their kid is potentially going to grow up to be a serial killer or a jerk, but they just love them and hope that they'll give love back. We all have our faults and shortcomings. But true love is unconditional. To me, if a person is kind,believes what I believe, and has a good work ethic(it doesn't hurt for him to be easy on the easy on the eyes 😋) then I can overlook the quirks and annoyances.

Wildcattin'...Wildcattin'. Pow! I'm gonna go.

[–] sebacba 8 years ago

I must admit that it must be easy to falling in love with Alexis Bledel every day.

[–] Etxpeme 8 years ago

I don't think it could work like that. How can you have a life with someone if he doesn't remember you have children together? Personally, I wouldn't even feel very comfortable touching her. I mean, to Gus, she's a stranger. He'd wake up every day to a total stranger.

What if they have a fight and go to sleep without solving the issue? The next day the fight would have to start all over again.

The movie is cute. But it's just that. Real life doesn't work that way.