ENDING!
SPOILERS!!! So, after just watching all 5hrs of this and realizing at the beginning and maintaining now, that this movie really wasn't for me, I've still got to say that that ending BLEW!! Seriously, when Seligman says "But you've *beep* thousands of men?" when he is trying to get off somehow with her (this after we've just had 5 hrs of clear illustration that he is not like other men/people in general, and is a particularly empathetic and sensitive fellow not to mention Joe's only friend) for him to quizzically purport that he doesn't understand why she is not down to *beep* him is totally ridiculous. That is, IMO, akin to a slap in the face by the director.
Setting aside all my personal disagreements with both the film and the subject matter, I was actually really liking the ending when Seligman says "Do you think in your new life you might seek out your son?" (something like that) and Joe replies "Maybe." or something like that. I thought, Well *beep* that is actually a hopeful note to end a very bleak film with and "hooray" and all for that. But then no, we get a literally last minute 180degree shift in character for Seligman without any foreshadowing or explanation.
To me that was the most extreme example of the biggest problem with the film: Von Trier had a great story with dynamic characters and provocative subjects which he largely ignored in favor of ham-handed visual metaphors and shock-value. And I'm not talking about the shock value of the imagery which by today's standards is graphic but not supremely so (at least for me) but rather his disregard for our experience as a viewer by offering up every random technique he could think of in order to...change the tone? unsettle us?? It never seemed clear and usually seemed superfluous to whatever was happening (often as not a deep and intriguing bit of dialogue or character development. This just left it feeling cluttered and in your face and really disrespectful. Not to me, not to humans in general or to sexuality or to the story he was trying to tell but rather to a basic understanding of what a craftsman is and the value of earning his/her audiences' appreciation and thoughtfulness rather than forcing whatever vision (seriously what was he trying to say about anything?!?) he had on whomever was generous enough to sit through his 5hr film.
I think he is an interesting and for what it's worth, valid, artist and a competent aesthetic mind as far as the superficial beauty of his work, but he sucked hard with any craftiness and subtlety in a piece which should (and deserved to be) rife with it. I think another director could take this same story, same characters, even most of the same scenes and images and craft an overall much better film. To me this seemed like Von Trier just didn't care about his own work which I just cannot respect especially in such a profound and ambitious piece as this. Shame on him. I hope he mellows out in the future with his ego or mysticism or whatever trip he was on with Nymphomaniac because he obviously is smart enough to do much better than this.