MovieChat Forums > Brooklyn (2015) Discussion > Why did the Mom react the way she did to...

Why did the Mom react the way she did to Ellis' news?

posted 9 years ago by jname967
11 replies | jump to latest

Perhaps I'm stating the obvious here, but after Ellis comes clean to her mom that she'd already married a man in Brooklyn, her mom immediately says she's going to bed "Because she doesn't want to say goodbye twice".

Now, I get that the mom was obviously shocked and saddened to see her daughter go off for good to start her own life, leaving her alone—but why did she want to go to bed right away? Obviously it was odd because even Ellis remarks "It's only 8 o'clock".

Was this just the Mom's physical and emotional response of being defeated and exhausted from the unfortunate news (regarding her solitude)? It could also be read as a glimpse into the eventual depression she'll slip into. Even so, it's still strange. In the history of cinema and even life, have we seen someone just off and go to bed 'cause they heard shocking news lol?

[–] KatharineFanatic 9 years ago

I thought it was strange too.

I think she wanted to go off to her room to grieve in private, knowing she'll probably never see her daughter again. The hopes she had for her daughter staying in Ireland, marrying a successful man with a big house, raising grandchildren right down the street, have just been dashed -- along with the news that her daughter never confided in her about having a boyfriend, much less getting married.

That's a lot for one mother to take.

[–] friendoffilm 9 years ago

I think it has a lot to do with the times (the early 1950's) that the story behind the film Brooklyn was set in. Also, in many other societies, back than, and even today, kids often don't break away from and become totally independent from families at such an early age, either.

[–] alyssa53-239-370065 9 years ago

You have to remember that the mother had just buried one child and knew that the odds were that she would probably never see her other child again, so she couldn't cope with watching her daughter leave in the morning. My grandmother never liked to talk about her life in Ireland or go back because it was so incredibly painful for her.

[–] harveythepooka 9 years ago

I think it was just to show the difference in the Irish temperament from the Italian family we saw. The Italian family was boisterous and loving while Eilis and her family was cool, or at least loving in a very reserved way. I don't think this is even an accurate stereotype, but that seems to be what the movie was saying.

The mother had gotten her hopes up that her daughter would stay, and her heart was broken when she knew that Eilis was leaving. But, Eilis could have asked the mother to come to long island with her and since the mother basically had nothing in Ireland she might have come and might have liked it.

I think it was more that the mother had a hard time forgiving her for her deceit and her way of dealing with it wasn't yelling and being boisterous like the Italian family, but to just shut down and to shut Eilis out.

[–] benrubenstein 9 years ago

I thought the mom was just extremely sad, depressed, and hurt by this news, and this was her way of dealing with it. She was withdrawn, and probably wanted to go into her bedroom and cry. The scene felt real to me.

[–] ricky_says_hi 9 years ago

It's also possible she just wanted to be alone in case she said anything she regretted. In her defence, she just found out that her daughter had been lying to her for weeks.

[–] ABBAcat 8 years ago

Yeah that was my take. The Irish and British were very stoic and thought they were being weak and needy if they showed their emotions outwardly. The British call it "keeping a stiff upper lip". I think the Irish have the same habits, but perhaps tie it in with practicing Catholic selflessness too.

Earlier in the film, the Mom also could not wave goodbye to Eilis on her first voyage to America.

🐾

[–] Prelude (1443) 7 years ago

Because she was a passive-aggressive, selfish bitch.

I don't care that she just lost her other daughter -- she was being completely selfish in thinking, wishing and wanting and manipulating everything toward the Brooklyn daughter staying in Ireland and sacrificing her new life for the old one, just so the mother wasn't alone.

It was despicable. Typical passive-aggressive bullshit. I'm glad the girl went home -- to Brooklyn.

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

I think you're attributing too much malice to the mother here.

[–] Popcorngal (4937) 2 years ago

I was surprised by her coolness as well, I bet she gave her a piece of her mind later.

[–] Whom (528) 2 years ago

I thought it was some old school Irish thing