MovieChat Forums > Alien: Covenant (2017) Discussion > In space no one can hear you being a ful...

In space no one can hear you being a full blown retard.

posted 7 years ago by Marty1968 (332)
33 replies | jump to latest

Christ, maybe Ripley was right "Did IQ's drop sharply while I was away' ... This movie is like Idiocracy in outer space.
The Company sent the ship to one specific planet, why would holy roller captain think he can change the planet? Send the coordinates to The Company and let them send a ship to find singing Elizabeth Shaw... And why was she singing white trash country songs and not sending out an SoS, did David fuck her silly?

No wonder Lambert was a useless screaming pile of twāt lips in Alien, it's a miracle she didn't blow up the Nostromo like her possible ancestor did the lander

...and we never get to find out why the Engineers sent those other space Engineers to kill off earth, but were too retarded to do so.

[–] LetThemEatCake (2717) 7 years ago

it really is one of the worst films ever made.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

After Prometheus.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

But Prometheus had lovers!

Alien:Covenant doesn't.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Yes, idiocy has been destroyed.

Even love isn't that blind!

Prometheus helped herd the lovers together to bosh them on their noses.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Are you tag teaming with LTEC?
I think he's the lone wolf type.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Nah, cakes and me just happen to share a particular viewpoint on this one topic Dazed.

Don't tell the lovers that such a thing is possible please.

They might evolve.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

What lovers?
You're living in the past, they're all scattered to the four winds!

Just haters left, that's what I call enduring love!

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Just manning the towers of sanity Dazed.

You needn't thank us, we're just doing our duty.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

There's a thin line between sanity and obsession.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

There is a line though!

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Any kind of extremity be it extreme love or extreme hate and you're in danger of belonging to the wrong side of the line.
You're only safe in the middle.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

I've always said I'm an average Joe and so that suits me fine Dazed!

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

I'll try to come up with explanations.

They were given the flexibility to do some exploration on the way to the planet they were going to colonize, in the event they found one that might be a better place to settle.

She was singing country songs because she didn't understand the controls of the alien ship well and didn't realize she was broadcasting at that point. She was actually trying to launch the ship.

The engineers who wanted to kill the earth were actually going rogue, so the other engineers weren't interested in following up on that. None of the remaining engineers wanted humanity wiped out.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

It's all perfectly understandable if you give it a little thought!

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

It was just a slapped together Alien movie to make Fox happy. There is no Prometheus sequel.

[–] Gorgorgorgoroth (69) 6 years ago

The Company sent the ship to one specific planet, why would holy roller captain think he can change the planet?

Oram changes the destination because some of their colonists have died while flying to Origae-6 and Origae-6 was 7 years away. The Covenant lands on Planet 4 because they assumed it was safe for humans to live on after hearing Shaw's voice coming from Planet 4.

Also, Shaw didn't want an SoS. She wanted to meet Engineers to know more about them you brainlet. Did you not listen to Shaw at the end of Prometheus?

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

Was Shaw singing a special Engineer attracting siren song? She's already on Planet Engineer. And didn't David kill them all? If there are no Engineers for her to meet on the planet, why wouldn't Shaw send out an SoS (if she didn't go nuts there)?

[–] Gorgorgorgoroth (69) 6 years ago

facepalm

If you watch the prologue The Crossing, Shaw is sleeping as David's killing Engineers. Shaw probably never woke up.

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

Is it in the film? Because if it's not in the film I don't count it as something I need to have seen in order to understand what's going on.

But. If she never woke up, how is she singing? Is David singing? Playing the flute and a lovely singing voice!

[–] Gorgorgorgoroth (69) 6 years ago

Because if it's not in the film I don't count it as something I need to have seen in order to understand what's going on.

So you don't want to count the prologue video because it's not in the film itself yet you count the Alien: Covenant novel simply because you favor the novel over the film.

The double standards are very strong in this one.

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

Wait! There's a book? I didn't know that. Where am I counting it in?

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

A novel no less!
Were you secretly counting in a novel you didn't know existed again Mina? Tsk

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

I do this every time. When am I going to learn!

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

There is a novelization of the film, I just amazoned it*

It's basically where they try to explain all the stuff that makes no sense **

* If Google is a verb, I'm claiming Amazon is too.
** I have no idea if this is true because, like you, I didn't know it existed.

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

In other words, more supplementary materials to make up for crappy storytelling.

Make full movies, Hollywood!

I do wonder, what's in that book, that I can make it seem like I've read it with a couple of jokes. It must be something of real quality!

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

There is just so much wrong with this film!
As Frogarama says above it isn't a sequel to Prometheus.
I kind of wish that Scott had had the guts to go ahead with the story where we get to see what the Engineers were about, what their reasons were, was there any weight to the two factions theory etc
And then Shaw! She just appeared as a corpse, written out despite it being her story!

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

In ancient times,
Hundreds of years before the dawn of history
Lived a strange race of "people", the Engineers

No one knows who they were, or what they were doin'
But their legacy remains

I have to say, it was so stupid it was fun!

But yeah, nowhere near Prometheus sequel territory. I don't understand what went so wrong with this film's production. It has the thinnest connection to Prometheus, it explained nothing. And I'm not even that invested.... If they wanted to make a stand alone Alien movie, I suppose they could've done that, without linking it to Prometheus. Alien still (somehow) has enough juice to draw in a audience.

Scott is loosing it in his old age. Does he not have any pull (pool?) left in Hollywood?

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Well, again referring back to Frogarama, I think it was he who had a theory that Ridley nuking the Engineers was a reaction to the fairly negative reception Prometheus received from some quarters. He literally killed the story dead.

I don't believe it (Prometheus) was half as bad as some thought, that said I've always thought that it was a mistake to go near the Space Jockey mystery.

There were some nice moments, I liked the beginning with David and Weyland....that was it actually!

The udders are dry now, hopefully there won't be any more!

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

C'mon Dazed!

Nicholas28 needs some hope in his rape dungeon to keep him going.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Ah why has neither Nic nor Asphyxiod shown up? We could have a reunion.

Or have they...

Seriously there aren't any more in the pipeline are there?

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Five by five!

[–] MinaVladimir (4081) 6 years ago

I can see myself doing something like that, so why not Scott? lol If it's true, it's a shame. I mean, he started this ball rolling, he might as well have stuck it through.

I didn't think it was that bad either (Prometheus). It was entertaining enough, though it never provoked me to go decoding all it's mysteries.

Mysteries like the Space Jockey one I think are only interesting _if_ they remain mysteries. Once you explain it, it looses its "magic" or whatever you want to call it.

Did it make a lot of money? Because if it did, there are going to be more! Or in 10 years time they revive it again, like everything else.

[–] Steve1978 (67) 6 years ago

Totally agree.
Retard Moves:

1. Oram - Who the hell chose this incompetent nitwit to be 2nd in command? A mission this important and this expensive, and the best executive officer they could find is some weak-minded, indecisive, vacillating idiot who couldn't command even a toilet cleaning crew if his life depended on it? It's not about his faith, either. There have been plenty of great leaders who also had strong faith. This guy's a milksop!

2. Taking Most of the Crew to Explore the Unknown World - Are you kidding me? Why didn't they just launch some drones to investigate the planet and the unknown transmission source? If something bad happened to the landing ship while it was flying down, they would lose most of their crew instantly. Boneheads!

3. No Environment Suits - Unknown world with unknown micro-organisms and bacteria, but hey, let's just breathe it all in and touch everything. The doctor just has to collect bio-samples in person? WTF? A drone could do that.

4. Pea-Brain Lander Pilot - Has nerves of steel piloting a lump of metal through the equivalent of a hurricane, but totally falls apart at the first sign of someone getting sick? Locks the doctor in the med bay AFTER she (the pilot) got sprayed in the face with the sick guy's blood. Quarantine was useless at that point. And then, after arming herself, breaks quarantine. Frakkin' dipsh*t!

Crew of stupid, foolish, incompetent, hysterical monkeys!!