100 THINGS I LEARNED FROM WATCHING "THE 5TH WAVE"...
This checklist was sadly missing. But not anymore ...
1. When (people purporting to be) the US Army comes to your refugee camp, take your kid brother, and massacre all the adults, you would still want to hike to the Army base to which they took your brother, and still think that that might be a "safe place."
2. When you're an enemy force and you've just massacred a group of refugees (having taken several casualties yourself), do not gather up all the guns and materiel of your fallen. Better to leave all that for any humans that might come across the scene.
3. When you scavenge a rifle off of a soldier, don't consider also picking up a few extra clips; just grab the rifle.
4. When you shoot your pistol, shoot it randomly behind you. And make sure you use up the whole clip.
5. When you are shot by a sniper and wake up in someone's house, you shouldn't wonder at all how your rescuer could possibly be a "good guy." You won't ask how this good guy got to you and dragged your body away without the "bad guy" getting both of you. You won't suspect that your rescuer is a "bad guy."
6. People who get shot in the leg by a rifle are unconscious for 7 days. They can lie in bed unconscious, without a nasal tube to feed them, without a urethra tube to catch the urine, without diapers(!) And when they wake up, their face will look lightly touched up with makeup, their hair will look showered and blow dried-- they will not look like they've lain in a bed for 7 days with greasy hair and wallowing in their own excrement.
7. Young people camping and living outdoors always have great hair.
8. Only one hybrid alien exists (Evan) who has super-human powers. No one else is like him. Plus, Evan can fall in love.
9. If Evan professes his love for you-- make sure you fall in love with him. Your life depends on it.
10. Also, never fall out of love with him [see above].
11. Evan can single-handedly destroy an air base, even if they are ostensibly populated by alien hybrids just like him. Except there's only one Evan [see above].
12. A 15 year-old human girl can easily beat, in hand to hand combat, a alien (possibly alien-hybrid) adult, ostensibly trained in warfare. Her chosen method is manual strangulation.
13. An entire base of aliens will always turn tail and run when confronted by a single renegade alien: they have no choice but to mass evacuate their entire base, rather than fight back.
14. Evan always has access to all sorts of bombs. Some of which can cause catastrophic sinkholes.
15. Kids know where to shoot someone in the torso, with an assault rifle, so as to cause the least possible organ damage (or none at all).
16. After a torso gun shot wound, a simple bandage is all you need and you're ready for any subsequent combat activity. (If this were a LEG injury, you'd of course be out of commission for 1-2 weeks, but a torso gunshot is just fine.) You can run at full speed, no problem.
17. Whenever you're a commanding officer and someone has a gunshot to the torso that wasn't fatal, be suspicious: it's obviously self-inflicted.
18. If you are a kid and faking that you're the sole survivor of an combat ambush, DON'T appear to be shaken or upset that everyone in your platoon was killed but you. Sure, it's a "bad day at the office", but it's nothing to be upset about.
19. When an alien being is unsure that you know he's an alien and he challenges you: by all means, confirm his suspicions. Instead of letting him keep pretending he's human, let him know you know he's an alien. That way, he doesn't need to waste any more time and he can execute you immediately.
20. Humans can run in and out and around aliens, even snatching human children in line for evacuation, and no one will mind.
21. Aliens will go to the trouble of implanting trackers in human children, but will never actually track them. Nor notice that those trackers have gone dark (because they weren't tracking them).
22. When aliens engineer a heads-up display for a helmet that enables the wearer to surreptitiously see his foes, they will nevertheless also include a head lamp on the helmet that illuminates the soldier's head for all his foes to see.
23. Aliens with vastly superior technology will nevertheless always stoop to using Earth technology when they actually get into a ground war on Earth.
24. Young-adult alien invasion movies require an end credits song by Sia Furler.