Why can't people accept... - The Lifeguard (2013) Discussion

[–] Ithilfaen 11 years ago

They know it's different. They just wish they could sleep with 16 year old girls so they come here and bitch "double standards".

For every lie I unlearn I learn something new - Ani Difranco

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[–] kellycastlebridge 11 years ago

It is a double-standard, you moron. If women are supposed to be accepted as "intellectual equals" to men, and allowed to be doctors, judges, and even generals...then why the hell shouldn't females be held equally responsible for their actions. If a 16 yr old girl chooses to sleep with a man, then that's her choice, and society should treat it the same as if a 16 yr old boy sleeps with a woman. If people claim that the female isn't responsible for her choices, that she was "manipulated", then I guess women are dumb, and females shouldn't be trusted to be politicians, generals, or judges....because their husband or boyfriend could just me "manipulating" their decisions. "equality" is a two-way street. You can't be the "pathetic little female who doesn't know what she's doing" when it suits you, then claim to be "the powerful, modern woman who is equal to a man nad capable of leading a country".

Of course, its just piggish feminist cougars who want to pounce on teenage boys who claim there is a difference. LOL.

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[–] Yorick_Brown 10 years ago

 A-FREAKIN' MEN!

Any time will do, my love
Any time will do, the choicest words will take me back to you...

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

So your saying its fine for middle aged women to go around taking advantage of 16 year old school boys .... But it's completely unacceptable for the reverse to happen I'm sorry but that's complete and utter bollocks!! Perhaps you would like to explain why gender difference makes such a huge difference in detail to the rest of the world that obviously up until this point have got it so very wrong ?

ithilfaen your comments are becoming more and more troll like as you keep trying to publicise your feminist / distorted views. There should be no difference between how both sexes are treated by the law and society. I have seen first hand the effects of what is passed off in this film as harmless or "love" can do to both boys and girls of that age. Spouting on about how you think it's fine for women to go around taking advantage of 16 year old boys as you are just goes to highlight your ignorance on the matter.

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[–] Airman87 11 years ago

So your saying its fine for middle aged women to go around taking advantage of 16 year old school boys .... But it's completely unacceptable for the reverse to happen I'm sorry but that's complete and utter bollocks!! Perhaps you would like to explain why gender difference makes such a huge difference in detail to the rest of the world that obviously up until this point have got it so very wrong ?

Completely agree.

I cannot find the specific posts, but a couple users were using the shallow claim, "research shows a man hits sexual prime at 18 and a woman hits sexual prime in her 30's."

Unfortunately that still very debated research is completely invalid in this application. Regardless of hormones and sexuality, none of that has ANYTHING to do with mental psychology, particularly the psychology of a 16 year old boy in school. The ability to grasp and process a sexual relationship when you're a 16 year old boy with an adult would be identical for a 16 year old girl as it is a 16 year old boy. Therefore, it's flawed logic. Sure, people age different and have different outlooks and perspectives on live, but that case could be made for a girl just as much as a boy.

It's pointless to debate it with people who think it's acceptable behavior. The people are trying to find validity in this relationship are merely masking their own pedophilia tendencies by creating fallacies.

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[–] Foxxyx 11 years ago

There is no use intellectualising it, it is what it is, but I'll try to explain.

First I disagree with the OP - I think a 16-year-old boy sleeping with a 30-year-old woman is less harmful than vice versa largely due to sociocultural reasons (albeit which partly have their basis in biological factors). This is because society still views sexually-active women as something dirty and immoral to a much greater extent than it does for sexually-active men. Thus a young girl who does sleep with an older man will be the victim of all these messages condemning her and making her feel bad about herself - which is where the real harm is caused imo. Also, teenage girls are generally a lot more insecure (e.g. sexually & aesthetically) about themselves than teenage boys, so are more prone to be taken advantage of and to go into sex when they are really not emotionally or mentally ready for it.

It is also about the expectations from the relationship. If you were to ask a 16-year-old boy to list the main reasons they are interested in pursuing said 30-year-old woman, the major goal would probably be the act of physical sex. Sure, there would be other goals too, such as emotional attachment, foreplay etc. But sex would be the key thing. This is reflected in the amount of time teenage boys spend watching porn which largely focuses on the physicality of sexual intercourse. They don't have time for Twilight and other slow-paced romance movies, they just want to get straight to the act.
For teenage girls, it is a different story, there is no doubt about it. They spend their free time watching chic flicks which emphasize the emotional side of sex. Thus girls are looking for that emotional connection, that fantasy romance that goes way beyond the physical act of penetration. They also seek the physical side of course, but it is less important and isn't their major goal.

Who is to say whether the reason girls (IN GENERAL) prefer Twilight and fantasy romances, whilst guys (IN GENERAL) prefer porn and getting right down to it, is due to biological or sociocultural reasons. But that is the way things are, and it affects the way they will respond to sex at a young age.

Wanting something more meaningful, when all the guy wanted was a quickie is hard enough for most adult women, let alone a teenage girl. That is not to say a teenage boy wouldn't also feel betrayed, but since physical sex is much more of a goal for boys I can imagine they would feel less used if they discovered all the woman wanted was sex as well. Teenage girls would feel so much more ashamed and used in this situation, especially because women having casual sex is still seen as rather taboo in many areas of society and a teenage girl who is not a virgin is often automatically seen as slutty and lose (i.e. girls go DOWN in the societal hierarchy by having sex). Whilst, on the contrary, society generally favours men who have casual sex and the pressure is on them to LOSE their virginity, not maintain it (i.e. boys go UP in the societal hierarchy by having sex).

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

First of all you cant try and justify adult females having sex with children by using so many sweeping statements and so many generalizations I really cant be bothered to correct all your inaccuracies so I have just picked a few :-

"If you were to ask a 16-year-old boy to list the main reasons they are interested in pursuing said 30-year-old woman the major goal would probably be the act of physical sex"

That is simply inaccurate
1.16 year old's do not pursue 30 year old women
2.If they did there is no way you can generalize why they would do so. It's scientifically proven the male mentality is to go after women of the same age or younger not older women so there would be no normal scenario where a younger a child would seek a older female especially one as young as 16.

"This is because society still views sexually-active women as something dirty and immoral"

That's rubbish this isn't the 1950's anymore with films / TV like "Sex in the City" ? or "Desperate Housewives" or more recently "Spring Breakers" etc. Society has not for a long time had that view.

"Also, teenage girls are generally a lot more insecure (e.g. sexually & aesthetically) about themselves than teenage boys, so are more prone to be taken advantage of and to go into sex when they are really not emotionally or mentally ready for it."

Sorry but there is no direct correlation between confidence and mental / emotional maturity levels. So even if boys are more confident and less insecure than girls of the same age it doesn't mean that the child is mentally mature enough to be coerced into having sex with an adult.

"This is reflected in the amount of time teenage boys spend watching porn which largely focuses on the physicality of sexual intercourse. They don't have time for Twilight and other slow-paced romance movies, they just want to get straight to the act."

Another sweeping statement, the reason boys are interested in porn is because their sex drives are inherently higher than girls at the same age. Males peak much earlier than women and therefore when they hit puberty their body is producing significantly more testosterone than women are producing estrogen and therefore are likely to exercise such actions as a result. This again has no baring on the argument because even if they do have the urge to have sex it does not mean they are mentally mature / developed enough to do so.

Your argument also seems to lean heavily on the social element of sex with children. While this might have limited effect on the child after such an incident its very doubtful it would before and therefore have little impact. There are so many different factors in play such as ethnicity and cultural background and social standing that could effect both sexes equally it is simply implausible to say if it will effect girls more. In most cases the social circles have yet to even develop to that level of influence or are so loose that they would not impact on decision making especially of that nature where the adult would probably be tell the child to not tell anyone.

However the damage of adults having sex with children is not the social repercussions. The real damage of such acts is the mental and psychological well being of the child during and after the event and that is what causes the deep psychological damage that causes those that have been abused (and it is abuse) to repeat the process when they are older to other children and the cycle continues.

There are so many books written on the subject I could go on. However if its a adult male or a adult female doing the pursuing of a boy or girl there is always damage and in my experience it has always been a level playing field. For you to have the arrogance in trying to generalize and trivialize such a matter stating that you think its more acceptable for women to have sex with children than it is men it quite frankly very worrying..

I will also add that when it comes to the law there is also no such thing as double standards. It appears that in some hill billy states in the US there are still massive shortcomings when it comes to this subject. However thankfully in the majority of the developed countries of the world there would be no difference in how each was punished with there being in most cases no need for anyone to "press charges" if it can be proved it happened then you will be going to prison.

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[–] Foxxyx 11 years ago

"That's rubbish this isn't the 1950's anymore with films / TV like "Sex in the City" ? or "Desperate Housewives" or more recently "Spring Breakers" etc. Society has not for a long time had that view. "

Believe me, it does. Double standards in society are very much alive and well. Have you not heard of "slut shaming", particularly in relation to the recent high-profile incidents involving schoolgirls who had sex at parties being bullied online, outcast from their peer groups and committing suicide. In one case, a group of male jocks posted images on Facebook of them sexually assaulting a schoolgirl who got too drunk at a party they attended. The boys had no apprehensions about revealing their own identities, and associating themselves with underage sex - why would they? They have nothing to fear in terms of social repercussions. But the girl was essentially outcast from the entire school community by her peers as a consequence of her actions. There are endless examples of this kind of thing.

I cannot conceive a situation in which a schoolboy has sex with a girl and is majorly bullied and outcast from society because of it. Even if he had sex with an unattractive or overweight girl, he would probably still get "lad points" for it - indeed, a popular game with college age boys is "pull a pig". I can't think of one male friendship group at my school or university who would be made to feel ashamed by their male friends if they had sex - yet, the average female friendship group is very critical of each other's sexual choices. If I were to tell my female friends that I had sex last night with a stranger in a club (not that I have ever done so), believe me, from then on they would look at me very differently and I'd be labelled as "the slutty one". It would pretty much change their entire opinion of me. And my friendship group are your fairly standard, average, city-dwellers. Certain things have become more acceptable for girls - going to nightclubs, dancing with men, making out occasionally, but the line is generally drawn at casual sex unless you want to get a "reputation". If you were to have casual sex, you keep it quiet, or only tell your closest friends. The idea of sexually liberated women is really just an idealistic romanticised image, and even those shows you mentioned such as Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives portray the idealistic "sexually liberated" woman as still being very straight-laced e.g. she has long-term monogamous relationships, and if she does have a one-night stand it is very infrequently, she will keep it very quiet and regret it terribly. Female sexual liberation in today's pop culture seems more about looking hot and sexy, rather than being free to have sex - it's still a very much "you can look at me, but don't touch" culture.

Just look at the posts on the Spring Breakers forum - the majority of threads are based around how "slutty" and "whorish" the girls are, and how they are dressing inappropriately, bad role models, shouldn't be acting slutty and partying etc. Now look at the Hangover forum, and try and find a thread discussing what terrible people the characters are for having casual sex and partying.

These very glaring gender differences in sexual attitudes shape how individuals psychologically process sex at a vulnerable age. One major cause of depression is low self-esteem and feeling ostracised from society, and I think just common sense would tell you this is more likely to be a consequence of underage sex in girls than men. I'm sure psychology studies would generally support this e.g. Grello, Welsh & Harper (2006) found "Males who engaged in casual sex reported the fewest symptoms of depression, and females who had a history of casual sex reported the most depressive symptoms.".

I'm not saying underage sex should be legalized in teenage boys, I'm just saying that probably/maybe/perhaps/using the evidence & common sense, that consensual sex is less harmful to your average teenage boy than your average teenage girl. Everyone physically, mentally & emotionally matures at different rates, and psychologically processes sociocultural messages in different ways. But the sociocultural pressures (which directly shape your mental health) for women are a lot more against having sex early and against being "slutty" - this is something you must surely recognize. You don't even have to tell anyone that you are sexually promiscuous to be mentally affected by the judgement of society, it passively affects your mental well-being before you carry out the "sin", while you are carrying out the "sin", and long after. To sum it up, your average parent would be so much more upset and shocked if they found out their precious, sweet, innocent 15-year-old girl was having causal sex than if they found out their 15-year-old boy was.

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

Thank you for the well written reply Foxxyx that's one of the few intelligent replies I have seen on this forum so far.

I didn't realize how manipulated women are by their friends. You have made it sound really quite unpleasant !! If I was a woman I would just drop the whole friends thing, and go it alone at least you then get to be your own person. Doesn't sound like its worth the hassle of having to continuously meet their standards... Women also seem to be massively effected by views of others in terms of society much more than guys which again sounds unpleasant.

You have actually made me feel quite sorry for you now :(

As for these games you have heard of I haven't and I certainly didn't hear of them when I was at Uni or college, perhaps its an American thing.

The way you have described it, it seems women don't seem to have any mental strength at all but are instead because of a lack of willpower / self confidence and direction rebound off what others (in your example immediate peer group) and society tells them to do. That in its self is quite worrying and scary and hope its not quite as bleak as you have described it.

I haven't looked at the Spring Breakers forum but I have seen the film and I thought the women looked amazing and not slutty at all so I don't know why people are saying that.

However I still stand by my view on this film / subject and will close by saying this :

All underage sex is dangerous and should not be trivialized as is done in this film for either sex. If the film had come at this subject area from the right angle she would of at least been arrested at the end or been severely warned about it. Instead the film just glosses over what I consider to be a very dangerous subject without adding any clarification. This leaves the film open for interpretation by the naive and uneducated to believe that it is fine to have sex with school children which is wrong and can be damaging no matter what the sex. Doing so can cause prolonged damaging effects to both sexes if they are not emotionally ready for it.

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[–] mcgill_j 11 years ago

You do REALIZE and I could be wrong.. the ONLY casual sex ACTUALLY shown in "The Hangover" was one of the main characters who got so drunk, passed out and had sex with a transsexual (as the bottom I might add).

So you are mostly comparing oranges and apples.

And you bring in well girls are different. But.. so you are saying we should have 2 sets of rules on the basis of gender? I am not saying reactions to these things are right or fair, few things are.

The point should stand REGARDLESS of genders, her actions with a boy may have been inappropriate and she should face the face charges that would be leveled at any other person/gender who did the same thing.

What culture does to something should have zero standing in the term of LEGALITY. Your logic seems to say, well it won't hurt a guy and its less creepy so its ok.. I just can't, and would not agree.

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[–] Getoboy730 11 years ago

I agree, a while a 16 y/o boy has sex with an adult female, hes so cool that he becomes a legend, if it's a girl, she's either looked at as a victim or a slut. Regardless of the gender of the adult, they are a rapist, but its that word that is partially what lessens the blame for the adult female. "How can a woman rape a boy?" People would think. Statutory rape is still rape. The adult has to be the adult. The double standard also comes into play if the woman is hot. I bet an ugly woman would be looked down upon more so than a hot chick. But maybe not so much. People would expect a hot chick to be able to get any MAN. Either way she is just as sick a guy that would have sex with under age girl. Regardless of what society thinks.

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

"Either way she is just as sick as a guy that would have sex with an underage girl"

Exactly right

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[–] JacksCatGirl 11 years ago

And the boy was sleeping around long before Leigh came to town, the Dad was thinking "Better him sleeping with a mature 30year-old birth control veteran that won't tie him down than a hormonal 16year-old virgin who is inexperienced, clingy, and overly likely to get knocked up with a baby he'll have to pay for the rest of his life"--it is what it is, he was already corrupted and was sexually active, he was far from a naive virgin, he was vulnerable, but he wasn't innocent, he knew what he was doing and he knew what he was getting into, he even took the lead, and if hadn't slept around with Leigh then he would have found some other girl to sleep around with.

Also it's a lot more difficult (and is rare) for an adult woman to sexually force or take advantage of very post-pubescent teenage boy of 16 than it is for an adult man to take advantage of a teenage girl of 16, teenage boys are stubborn, uncontrollable, super horny, cocky, and strong only doing what they want to do and unlike 16 year-old girls they can physically fight back against an adult woman

Jacks

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

"And the boy was sleeping around long before Leigh came to town.

Really ?? I have seen no mention of this anywhere !!

"He was already corrupted and sexually active"

Again I have no idea where you got this from. There is no evidence to support that statement. Or what corrupted even means !? Are you seriously suggesting that because he might of already experienced some neglect during his earlier childhood and gone down the wrong path once before that we should write the child off and just take advantage of him ? Yeah that sounds completely logical let's get some 40 and 50 year old women in there as well !! What's the worst that can happen he is already corrupted right ......dear god...

"He knew what he was doing and he knew what he was getting into"

Really ? At 16 I highly doubt many children at the age of 16 know what they are getting into, especially when it comes to sex and relationships especially with an 30 year old adult.

"If he hadn't slept around with Leigh he would of found some other girl to sleep around with"

Again there is no evidence to support such an assumption. However even if this was the case it would of been slightly more acceptable for him to have had a normal healthy relationship with a girl of the same age. The relationship would have more likely to have lasted longer taught him more about girls of his own age group and helped him later in life develop relationships and not just become a sex toy for a "confused" middle aged woman...

"he knew what he was getting into, he even took the lead"

Jesus Christ he is a CHILD it is the role of the adult to be mature and think beyond the immediate. An adult in that situation would have stopped it from going any further and sat down with him and talked to him not ripped the kids clothes off and sunk to his level...

"Also it's a lot more difficult (and is rare) for an adult woman to sexually force or take advantage of very post-pubescent teenage boy of 16 than it is for an adult man to take advantage of a teenage girl of 16, teenage boys are stubborn, uncontrollable, super horny, cocky, and strong only doing what they want to do and unlike 16 year-old girls they can physically fight back against an adult woman"

The above para tries to justify and trivialise women having sex with children which I have already stated but will say again is completely wrong.i have also already stated that confidence does not mean the child has matured to the level where they are ready for sex.Your comments about physical strength and fighing back are mute because we aren't talking about rape or the forcing sex in a violent way, we are referencing the manipulation through speech and touch the introduction of sex to a child that is not emotionally mature enough to handle it. This can be achieved with both sexes without the need for violence and is more effective without it. This is why women are just as capable to do it as men. In fact more recently the trend has been leaning more towards women being caught for this type of activitythan it has men. Only the other week a woman teacher was caught with a pupil and was fired and put on the sex offenders register. A month ago another woman was arrested after being caught having sex with a 15 year old.

I can only guess so many women seem to think that its fine for 30 year old women to be roaming the countries playgrounds picking up 16 year old schoolboys is because

1. There are a lot perverted women out there.
2. Films like this entertain the fantasy and go some way to encourage it.
3. Women in general are ignorant of the damage that is done to a child when this kind of thing happens and haven't seen the after affects of such so called relationships..

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[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] JacksCatGirl 11 years ago

I'm not condoning what she did, it was a crime and it was wrong, but she was a far cry from a pedophile and the boy was over the age of consent(in his state) and he had his father's approval.

And the film did hint at him being sexually promiscuous by the shot of the teen girl leaving his place in the morning, they showed that for a reason, to establish that he was already sexually active.

Jacks

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

I think this is the main problem with films of this style. They gently coherse the audience which for a film like this will mainly be female into believing that the chick flick type reality which it creates (but conveniently leaves out any consequences)is an accurate representation of the world.

So you have a bunch of middle aged women who come stumbling out of the theatre thinking this type of fantasy is perfectly normal and legit and this may even lead to some taking it as far as to trying to act it out.

Its not until you sit down and study the hard facts of what the film, really is portraying,that you see the danger that it represents. Even looking at the initial responses by women on here when they engage on discussion they usually go from

"Yeah there was nothing wrong with what she did" to "Well yes it a grey area" to finally "Well obviously what she did was wrong and she should of been punished for it"

What happens to the women that don't engage in conversation and discussion about it.. They keep believing the reality of the film.....

http://www.coloradonewsday.com/national/10019-teacher-22-arrested-for-allegedly-having-sex-with-her-15-year-old-student.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2361856/Teachers-aide-31-arrested-having-sex-16-year-old-boy-special-needs-school-pair-baby-together.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2354159/Laura-Elizabeth-Whitehurst-English-teacher-28-arrested-having-baby-fathered-16-year-old-student.html

http://www.yourjewishnews.com/2013/04/w6917.html

I could go on but you get the idea.....

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[–] JacksCatGirl 11 years ago

Oh boy, you're jumping to too many conclusions, first off, middle age women? Who's middle aged? Not me, not the characters, why are you cornering middle age women?

Second middle age women can control their urges much more so than middle age men, in fact for every one middle age women that takes up with a young man there are thirty middle age men taking a child bride trophy wife. Also the majority on pedophiles are middle age men.

There are a thousand times more cases of older men taking advantage of teen girls than vice versa.

And also did I say what she did was right? NO! And I KNOW this is a movie and not an example to take seriously and follow, women aren't the over impressionable psychopathic idiots you claim them to be!

Jacks

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

Let's be clear the film is aimed at 30 - 40 year old women who still entertain such a disturbing fantasy. If you are in that age range and want to admit to it being middle aged its up to you. The reason it effects women if this age group is because they are massively more effected by the vanity of "oh no I have now reached 30" and the "oh no it's all down hill from here" scenarios where in contrast men generally don't care and carry on living their life's rather than trying to cling on to the past.

The point you make about women controlling urges is also inaccurate. The fact is women don't have anywhere near as many urges or as strong urges that men do. It's a well known fact that men's sexual drives are significantly stronger and therefore are going to be harder to control. This point just goes to show that when a woman does do something like in the film or in the links that I posted she has demonstrated a significantly weaker mindset of that of a man in a similar situaton who has had to deal with much stronger urges his entire life.

You make the mistake of talking about pedophilia, the film does not cover such a topic and I have not touched on it. We are talking about adults having sex with children in the age range depicted in the film and in that area women are starting to take the lead in arrests and prison sentences.

If you don't believe me just google "female sex offenders on the rise" and you will get a whole raft of articles backing up my argument.

The articles mention why the female demand for attention and low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy play a large part in what triggers them to carry out these actions.

"And also did I say what she did was right? NO! And I KNOW this is a movie and not an example to take seriously and follow, women aren't the over impressionable psychopathic idiots you claim them to be! "

You said it was ok when you tried to justify her actions with a "it wasn't so bad" theme...

"And the boy was sleeping around long before Leigh came to town, the Dad was thinking "Better him sleeping with a mature 30year-old birth control veteran that won't tie him down than a hormonal 16year-old virgin who is inexperienced, clingy, and overly likely to get knocked up with a baby he'll have to pay for the rest of his life"--it is what it is, he was already corrupted and was sexually active, he was far from a naive virgin, he was vulnerable, but he wasn't innocent, he knew what he was doing and he knew what he was getting into, he even took the lead, and if hadn't slept around with Leigh then he would have found some other girl to sleep around with."

Further more we have already heard from foxxy's post above that women are over impressionable as she carefully broke down how subseptable the female mind is to influence by its friends, society and fantasy and therefore films like this.

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[–] JacksCatGirl 11 years ago

If you think this film exploits underprivileged teen boys you should see how Howard Stern and Playboy exploit underprivileged teen girls.

Further more we have already heard from foxxy's post above that women are over impressionable as she carefully broke down how susceptible(fixed your spelling error) the female mind is to influence by its friends, society and fantasy and therefore films like this.

My middle age mother and aunts and their book club friends LOVE the shows Breaking Bad and Dexter and have viewing parties but I don't see any of them cooking and selling Meth and killing people for fun, hmmmm....

This point just goes to show that when a woman does do something like in the film or in the links that I posted she has demonstrated a significantly weaker mindset of that of a man in a similar situation(another fixed spelling error) who has had to deal with much stronger urges his entire life.

I was going to respond with something vile but I'm going to practice an example of self control and re-frame from telling you off.

The reason it effects women if this age group is because they are massively more effected by the vanity of "oh no I have now reached 30" and the "oh no it's all down hill from here" scenarios

Then why do I see so many middle age men buying sports car and divorcing their wives for younger girls once they feel over the hill? No sex has the midlife crisis quite as drastic as the male sex.

You said it was ok when you tried to justify her actions with a "it wasn't so bad" theme...

Oh you got me! Yes it's true, I fully condone women over 29 sexually taking advantage of fictional teenage boys played by 20year-old actors GUILTY!

Jacks

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

First of all you can always tell when you have won an argument / discussion because the other person starts resorting to petty things like correcting peoples spelling. I usually write to this board on an ipad so it sometimes autocorrects incorrectly or not at all hence the errors but thanks for pointing them out.

"If you think this film exploits underprivileged teen boys you should see how Howard Stern and Playboy exploit underprivileged teen girls"

Completely irrelevant to the discussion, Does Howard Stern hang out by pools and try and have sex with 16 year old girls ? I cant possibly comment but if he does and assuming he is also over thirty then yes I agree that is also very suspect and an unhealthy way to behave. Still don't understand how that bares any relation to this discussion though because I have never once indicated it was ok for one sex and not the other . My stance has always been its just as bad for both to be doing it so you must of got a little confused there...

"My middle age mother and aunts and their book club friends LOVE the shows Breaking Bad and Dexter and have viewing parties but I don't see any of them cooking and selling Meth and killing people for fun, hmmmm.... "

I think common sense will tell most people what is clearly an obvious line to cross such as killing people and making drugs. But we aren't talking about those scenarios we are talking about an area that is clearly a grey area for a lot of women. The discussions on this board have proved just that, with many stating (originally at least) that they didn't think it was bad for 30 somethings and above to have sex / relationships / with 16 year old schoolboys.

"Then why do I see so many middle age men buying sports car and divorcing their wives for younger girls once they feel over the hill? No sex has the midlife crisis quite as drastic as the male sex. "

Again you seem to be confused between a midlife crisis, and the realisation of you reaching your 30s. Both sexes will go through a midlife crisis and do stupid things but it is mainly women that will also go though the mini crisis at 30 and be affected by it to a larger degree than men (hence why they make such a big thing over it in this film). That's why this film being primarily aimed at women focuses on the topic so heavily and why the issues raised by this film will be specifically relevant to women.

"Oh you got me! Yes it's true, I fully condone women over 29 sexually taking advantage of fictional teenage boys played by 20year-old actors GUILTY! "

You seem to have gone off on a tangent here ... Why are you talking about the actors age ? No one has mentioned the actors doing anything wrong in this entire board!!. We are talking about the danger of the characters they are playing, and the plot / storyline that is played out throughout the film and the message behind it.

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[–] shrugs 11 years ago

I agree with what a few others have already said. It's more acceptable for a teenage boy to bang an adult female for cultural reasons. It's social conditioning, not "mainly biological". Society wants to view the male as the sexual aggressor in all cases whether it's true or not. How do you feel about teenage boys sleeping with adult males?

What if a squirrel wants a sausage?

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[–] Airman87 11 years ago

How do you feel about teenage boys sleeping with adult males?

You're not allowed to ask that. The GLBT community will strike you down and crucify you.

In seriousness, the film does suggest this idea as being acceptable. Remember when Todd came onto Lumpy (the kid who hung himself) around the campfire, and then Lumpy freaked out at Todd's advancements? Well what happened? Lumpy ended up freaking out, wanting to skip town, and then decided to hang himself within 24 hours. Did Todd have to answer to the death of a teenage boy for making him freakout? Nope, because that would be insensitive to the feelings of the GLBT community.

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[–] shrugs 11 years ago

I'm not sure I follow what you're saying. My point was, that as far as society is concerned, when it comes to sexual advances, adult trumps teenager except when male trumps female, and male always trumps female. It's just old school sexism perpetrated by both sexes and probably to the detriment of both sexes.

As for insensitivity towards the GLBT community, that's nonsense isn't it? As the adult in a situation of course Todd shoulders responsibility for his behavior towards a teenage boy. He doesn't, however, take responsibility for the social conditioning, explicitly the belief that homosexuality is inherently negative, without which Lumpy would have no reason to "freakout".

What if a squirrel wants a sausage?

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[–] Zakredding 11 years ago

I couldn't care less if it was man boy woman girl woman boy or man girl at 16 its just wrong. Sexuality has nothing to do with it. It's the fact that the child is too young (psychologically) to be put through such an experience especially with an adult..

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[–] plazbo 11 years ago

I dunno, I believe that's too general a statement to brush everyone under. At 16 I was with a 28yr old, granted at 16 I had moved out of home, was holding down a job and school (the whole gay thing didn't go down well with the parents). Lasted about a year before I ended it, it's a little awkward when a 16 yr old is more secure than a 28 yr old (he was clingy and constantly thinking I was cheating on him even though we were not exclusive...processing the insecurities of others at 16 wasn't going to happen). Realistically, without going into details, in that situation I was far more the "predator".

End point is, it's individual, laws existing true but at the same time it's kind of silly just because someone turns 18 won't necessarily mean they are ready for anything (it's just assumed based on averages) anymore than they won't be.

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[–] mschickie2004 11 years ago

I didn't watch this movie just seen the previews and I'm sorry but I don't see what a young women whos is her late 20's would see in a boy. I'm in my late 20's and I cant even see being physically attracted to guys who are in their teens to very early 20's. Even though I still look very young(18-20). I even got hit on by a 17 year old last month. Its a big turn off. The thought of liking someone that young creeps me out. I want a man who is emotionally and physically mature. The same for grown men who go after teenage or very young women. Something is mentally wrong with them

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[–] plazbo 11 years ago

It's kind of the point of the movie, the main character doesn't like where her life had gone and ran back home to parents in an attempt to relive her youth so she could "find herself"

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[–] Zombie55 8 years ago

2 shrugs - but is society CORRECT and LOGICAL to "want" or even view it all that way, and if not, why does it then lean towards it?

The greatest trick the Devil has ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist!

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[–] shrugs 8 years ago

It leans towards it because men are typically (tho not always) physically stronger than women. Historically, consent was irrelevant, and men took what they wanted because they could. Women were seldom in the same position. Whilst most men don't act that way today, the fact that they could puts women at a perceived disadvantage. Since sex is a physical act, and women (even in the case of this movie where the boy is only 16) are physically weaker in most cases, so women will always be sexually vulnerable to men.

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[–] Zombie55 8 years ago

Its true and also the fact that men cannot get pregnant and their bodily structures and even sexual aspects are different than that of women, hence why perhaps it psychologically affects them rather less.

The greatest trick the Devil has ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist!

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[–] pm-lodge 11 years ago

Twenty-nine is NOT middle aged!!!!! Not is she considered a cougar at this age. She's not a predator. And movies don't tell people it's ok to do anything. Theya re not morality plays. If you think this movie is telling women it's ok to fantasize and take advantage of young men than you an I were watching a very different movie. If people used movies as a moral compass the world would be a lot more effed up by the violence depicted than by this little film. Also, the responses that women have no willpower because of what we have to deal with in our peer groups... you sound really young and naieve. 1. It is only like that until a certain age. After that, most women dont care what you or anyone else thinks.

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[–] Zombie55 8 years ago

Where does society even get such (incorrect and admittedly damaging) views from and why can't ordinary people agree just as well on what is right and what is wrong including in sexuality as the law?

The greatest trick the Devil has ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist!

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

It’s unacceptable both ways, teenagers aren’t matured yet, and the adults should know better than to groom children.

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