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What I have learned from watching "Crawl or Die"


#1 Even if you crawl, you can still die.

#2 In the future, with FTL travel and hypersleep, the meeting room for
the advanced soldiers will look like an unfinished wooden house.

#3 On a planet called Earth 2, many light years away from Earth One, the under bunker
will have heavy steel doors but are constructed of rip board painted black and 2x4s.

#4 The tunnels on Earth 2 look like a combination of sewage pipes and rolled up sod.

#5 Elite female super soldiers have 80's punk hair.

#6 All Earth 2 tunnel rip board still says 'Ace Hardware' on it.

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#7 You can still make a movie worth watching for under $10,000

"Mortdecai is an embarrassment for all involved."

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#8 Even if you're the last fertile female on the planet, it doesn't guarantee your safety.

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Even through you can crawl though a gap only the size of your head, a creature with a head twice your size can still follow you.


...it's just another dumb film, get over it.

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