This movie had potential...

I pretty much agree with everything you said, but still liked the film in an offbeat way.

I really don't think you were supposed to "buy" AH's scenes as being in any way realistic or true to life. I think she was drawn as the sort of hyped female assassin you might see in a Tarantino film.

I think even 1 or 2 of the other character's comment on Ethan's Olympic like abilities to keep going in the face of his terminal illness.

I found the phone calls increasingly funny and laughed...a lot!

McG did direct it...so yes, but it also had Luc Besson's fingerprints all over it.

I think the film was great. Sometimes viewers hate on a film when they expect one thing and get another. If you're expecting a serious spy movie, this isn't it. This is an action comedy family drama, sort of like The Whole 9 Yards.

Costner plays the action deadly serious, which sells it and sets up the contrast to the family comedy.

I thought Heard was ok... that is the kind of role she is best at.
I liked her copying the line of Vanessa Angel in Kingpin.. I am every guys type..

I liked the bits between Costner and the different 'dad' bad guys..
it was a different twist.

I thought Costner did a good job..
but I am not a fan of mixing humor with all the killings.
It is not a mix for everyone.