I just giggled the milk out of my nose. Ah, you see through this complex plot to "buy" reviews, do you? If the "critics are bribed" conspiracy theories are correct, how do you answer the following questions? I've tried this a few times, and no-one's even attempted to answer me yet, but hope springs eternal.
-- How do "they" determine which movies to prop up and which ones to "allow" to be buried? Disney has several big-budget critical flops in its fairly recent past (Pirates 4, Mars Needs Moms, John Carter, The Lone Ranger, just to name four). Seems like a weird strategy. What's their methodology?
-- Do other studios pay off critics or just Disney? If others do it, does that mean bidding wars for good/bad reviews are going on every day? If so, why did Disney "allow" the Harry Potter movies to get strong reviews? Did Warner Brothers just outbid them?
-- Over 200 professional critics typically write reviews for a wide release. Are you telling me that not a single one of them has broken ranks on this conspiracy? That's some pretty impressive control. Don't you think? Not a single one has ever had a fit of conscience and come clean about being bribed?
-- And, in the end, to credibly support a theory like this, you need actual evidence besides "Movie X was great even though critics hated it!" So, let's hear it, chum. It's time to blow the whistle.
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I have meddled with the primal forces of nature and I will atone.
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