MovieChat Forums > The New Normal (2012) Discussion > One thing I don't want to become The New...

One thing I don't want to become The New Normal...

posted 12 years ago by johnny-rose
4 replies | jump to latest

...Women asking guys on dates, and guys sending them to a Korean food truck in the middle of a shady part of town as the date.

Whatever happened to the good old traditional manners in treating a lady? I may be too oldfashioned but for all the ladies here, and heterosexual gentlemen (if there are any who watch this show), whatever happened to a man asking a lady on a date, picking a nice restaurant, opening the door of the car, pulling out a chair for her, and standing up until she sits?

There are some things that are all nice and good the traditional oldfashioned way and I don't care if this is 2013, or 2619, I want the gentleman fashion to come back and treat a lady like a lady should be treated.

[–] MaleManX 12 years ago

This is how I see it and this is MY opinion only.

I think the "gentlemen" personality is incompatible with gender equality. Women want to be treated the same way men are. Opening the door for them, treating them as if they were these fragile things that need more care than a man is believing that women are weaker and inferior to men. That is not gender equality.

If two men go out on a date with each other, would you expect one to treat the other with some kind of outdated gallantry? No, because they would be equal and I don't believe either would (or should) expect the other to do all those outdated acts (holding door, etc.).

Of course, I've run across female feminists who want gender equality but also want men to keep treating them as if they needed more care and attention than men do. Or even women who want to be treated better than men just because they have vaginas.

I believe gender equality means treating everybody the same way, regardless of gender. Why open the door for one sex and not the other? Why let people of one sex go through a door first and not people of the other? Why should only one sex ask the other out? These are outdated practices incompatible with modern views on gender equality.

Gallantry, gentlemen - outdated notions that need to be shamed out of existence.

[–] johnny-rose 12 years ago

I am a feminist but on the other hand there are some classic manners and behaviors in courtship that have been used for millenia, and appeal to our subconscience in ways that we cannot quite describe. These are not things that make either the man or the woman uncomfortable, especially if they are raised into them. Gender equality is not about women and men acting in the same way, is about women and men having equal opportunities to pursue their dreams, work, politics, etc in life.

When it comes to dating, things are never rational, that's why so many of us end up hurting ourselves by turning out the nice guys (or girls), and ending up with the bad ones. Dating is instictive, and so is the sexual tension and feelings that come from it, it's primitive, and it is in our primitive nature to have the guy take care of the girl during the date.

And I know what you may say, what about when it's two men, or two women? I don't know about you but I've always seen Ellen as being the galant person who spoils Portia. I am not saying Portia doesn't spoil Ellen, but Ellen is more of the galant lady in that relationship.

Just gender equality and manners have nothing to do with eachother. I love the modern world, but without the traditions in which we've been raised, we're groundless.

But on the other hand everyone dates the person they share the same view with. I'm sure I am only attracted to guys who have been raised and like the idea of being the gentleman and treating a woman like a lady, as I feel more touched and more comfortable in this situation. I'm not saying every guy should be like that, but I just don't want it to become the New Normal this idea of girls being butch. Being a great woman doesn't mean that you have to act like a man, That's not what gender equality is all about. We want to be as powerful as men but still be feminine. At least that's my brand of feminism.

[–] chuckfan 12 years ago

This discussion is great and all and hits some good points. But here's my question: What does this have to do with the episode? I thought it was pretty obvious by the end of the episode that "Uncle Jesse" was a sleezebag and by extension he didn't give a crap about the "date" and reflected how little he actually cared about "Nana." Maybe that's just me though and being almost 30 I'm too old to know what "hip" is anymore. I hope you all like "quotation marks!" ;-)

Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality
~CHUCK Palahniuk

[–] johnny-rose 12 years ago

That's true, but Nana, who even at her age knows nothing about man, is taking really bad advice from a person who was just recently dating a gay guy, and she thinks this douche likes her. I'm going to go all rom com advice right now, but when a man likes a woman, he treats her like a lady.