I'm not a Brit and certainly not female, so unlikely to be hysterical, hypocritical or self-entitled.
I'm pretty sure all "r"s sound the same notwithstanding the volume of methane delivered by the different diets of the owners.
Posh people are usually too well educated to resort to slang but if they were English, they would never say a$$hole. It is vulgar and worse still, from their point of view, colonial.
You can think what you want. It doesn't make it true. What is your evidence for your blanket statement regarding the wide usage of that word? In my country, asses are kept in corrals or barns, not holes.
I must tell you people "thinking" they can make baseless and inaccurate statements about things they have "limited experience" in, always convinces me of the validity of their argument. Uh no, not really.
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