MovieChat Forums > Magic Mike (2012) Discussion > I normally don't do this but...

I normally don't do this but...

posted 12 years ago by Guavo
48 replies | jump to latest

I was completely blinded by how awful this movie is.

My friends have been telling me to watch it because it is so awesome and then I saw that it was on HBO and had four stars. So naturally, I'm thinking this movie will be pretty awesome if it got four stars. And the movie turns out to be horrible.

The beginning was terribly boring. I could barely watch it. And then this horrible actress pops up on the screen and I can't get over how terrible she is. The camera continuously focuses on nothing but her face and she just has this wooden grimace that won't go away. Her laugh sound so fake, it's painful. I never thought I would see an actress with less emotional depth then Kristen Stewart but this girl takes the cake.

And the plot was just...ugh. Mike wants to make furniture and quit stripping. He quits stripping but we don't even get to see if he makes furniture! We just find out that he gets with the wooden girl at the end! And the kid gets hooked on drugs and stays hooked on drugs and then takes Mike's spot even though he can't dance.

What is the point? I can't even fathom how this movie got a 6.1 on this site. I assume because of rabid horny women who loved watching grown men hump the stage. Yes, Channing Tatum and some of the cast are attractive but that doesn't make it a good movie. I gave it a three just because I like Channing Tatum and I wanted to he nice.

[–] harkness78 12 years ago

Your dumb

"Nobody knows anybody, not that well..." - Miller's Crossing

[–] Guavo 12 years ago

Really? I am dumb for stating my opinion on a movie and you spell you're wrong? Go back to elementary school before you go critiquing the stupidity of others.

[–] redhenry 12 years ago

You're not dumb - you are right. You perfectly summed up this steaming turd of a film!

[–] smokinjoe-767-737859 12 years ago

No, you're dumb.

[–] vicsju1991 12 years ago

I am by no means a grammar nazi, i honestly suck at typing myself, but if you're insulting someone's intelligence, you should try to spell "you're" right
My Name is Lucifer, Please Take my Hand

[–] augusto_b08 11 years ago

One thing is not being intelligent, and another thing is not spelling words the right way. He can not know how to spell words, and be an intelligent person, who thinks that someone said a dumb thing, not spelling "you're" right.

[–] EAPierce 11 years ago

That's both true and untrue.

Some misspellings, such as your/you're, can be chalked up to ignorance rather than lack of intelligence. However, if you're going to speak English effectively, it's not smart to remain ignorant of such basics. Anyone intelligent who's learned rudimentary English should be able to deduce that "you're" would be the correct spelling for the contraction of the words "you are."

And it's never smart to misspell/use bad grammar when calling someone else dumb, stupid, idiotic, etc. Whether due to ignorance or not, it will always make you the butt of your own joke.

[–] MayoGalway 11 years ago

Thank you. You put that so well.

[–] TRhett 9 years ago

I was about to ask "WTH is wrong with his spelling of that?"

[–] freemanpatrick7 11 years ago

Your dumb

His dumb what? Does he posses something that is dumb? Or did you mean to say "you're dumb" as in You are dumb?

See, there's a difference. And there's nothing funnier than an idiot calling someone else dumb

[–] DontTouchtheWatch 12 years ago

Agreed. I knew going into it from others who'd seen it that it wasn't the fun romp the previews made it seem, and that the stripping scenes were few and over fairly quickly, but even knowing it was supposed to be taken as a SERIOUS FILM, I still thought it was pretty bad.

You've nailed pretty much all of the reasons I disliked it too. One specific example I want to give on the beginning/"plot" is that there was literally no build-up or natural segues to any of it. We see Mike wake up with two chicks. They're flirting and bantering the next day and trying to remember who the other girl they hooked up with even is. Then, "Hey, WOW, this table is really great." SO random & forced.

If they had focused more on making it a Full Monty-style comedy (albeit with good looking guys), I think it would have been a lot better.

[–] Guavo 12 years ago

Yeah, at that part when they randomly started talking about the table my thirteen year old sister even realized that was weird. They tried to force a plot into the movie and it wasn't even believable. What really upsets me is that nothing gets resolved but yet they want to make a number two. Like seriously? He's not even a stripper anymore! What could it possibly be about?

[–] DontTouchtheWatch 12 years ago

Yeah, that part felt like an afterthought. "So, this stripper guy realizes he wants to do something better and/or more meaningful with his life by the end." "Okay, well, what does he want to do?" "Hell, I don't know. Haven't thought about it. Who really cares anyway -- how about furniture making? That hasn't been done before!" "sounds great, use it!"

About the sequel...ugh. No idea. I'm guessing about the young kid? But then it'll just feel like a rehash of the first one, not a sequel. So I have no idea.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] Guavo 11 years ago

I shooed her out shortly after she said something

[–] beseelisa2 12 years ago

I couldn't even let myself be distracted by the eyecandy that is Channing and the delicious Matthew M., but the story was just too stupid, to try-hard, too "Pretty Women in Bizzaro World". I wanted it to at least be a guilty pleasure, but even the "orgy" scene was too fake and cut too soon to even provide fodder.

And, really, ALL of those dancers were hetero.....really? I don't think that's legit at all. I thought I was going to get a little look at the "Chip N Dales" behind the scenes...but no. Disappointing, and I'm disappointed in anyone who gave it enough to average 6.1 stars. Sheesh

[–] SWLinPHX-2 10 years ago

And, really, ALL of those dancers were hetero.....really? I don't think that's legit at all.

Uh, no... Matt Bomer (one of the five main dancers who did the Ken doll routine and told Adam to feel his wife's tits) is openly gay in real life.

Unless you mean their characters were all supposed to be hetero, but even that we don't know for sure. There are closet cases everywhere who blend in well (like Navy SEALS).

[–] bethanysummer0308 12 years ago

it is a movie about strippers..what did you expect.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] koffeenkreame41-1 11 years ago

it is a movie about strippers..what did you expect.

an oscar-award winning movie akin to gone with the wind!

wow, was I wrong!

LOL!! It wasn't TERRIBLE but it is clichéd. I guessed the ending minutes into the film.

"I am the ultimate badass, you do not wanna `*beep*` wit me!"- Hudson in Aliens.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] thepoet21 12 years ago

This review was on point. I lost interest in the movie and started downloading music. If I saw this in the theater I would have wrote the production company to get my money back. I imagine that lots of women who brought into the hype were probably royally disappointed because there was alot of downtime in that movie.

Heck, I'll give it to them, the idea of male strippers was something that should have been a bulls eye. But they managed to make that concept boring.

A worthy comparison would be Players Club; though Ice Cube was far from a great film maker, it still was more engaging and interesting when it took on the down south stripper culture. I could watch that 10 times. This one just fizzled out.

[–] LoizaAldea 12 years ago

Guavo is right this movie is boring. The first time I saw it I spent the first 10-15 minutes laughing. I only know one male stripper (social media), but I wonder if all the money he had saved actually came from stripping.

[–] MAGlC_MlKE 12 years ago

Each to their own, but then why write such a long winded comment on the board for a film you don't like.

Magical Me

[–] smokinjoe-767-737859 12 years ago

Because this board is here to review films, if only people that liked a movie reviewed it what do you think would happen?

Congrats, you made one of the most stupid comments I have ever read.

Also... was that a statement or a question?

[–] Pania8407 11 years ago

It's a discussion board.
Everytime i watch a movie i go on that board to see what other people are thinking and like to listen to their reasons of liking it.

But, wow!! Your username LOL

[–] TheCheetahPeach 11 years ago

Everytime i watch a movie i go on that board to see what other people are thinking and like to listen to their reasons of liking it.
Movie or show I like to dot that too.

"Yeah
2 years late..."

[–] faeria 12 years ago

I have to admit, I went in hearing a lot of good things about this movie. Everyone I know who has seen it loved it. It was enjoyable for the look into a the world of male stripping and it started out promising (if a bit cliche--'stripper wants more out of life' type thing) but just faded fast.

But then I don't think a lot of the popularity of this movie has much to do with the plot. But I do wish they hadn't been quite so cliched.

And, really, ALL of those dancers were hetero.....really? I don't think that's legit at all.

This. I was very much waiting for one of them to be revealed as gay or at least bi.

It's not about who you are or your fancy car. You're only ever who you were.

[–] schmidtkenn11 12 years ago

Well, I'VE seen it and I HATED it! Boring, boring, BOOOOORING...

"He carries illegal weapons, drives fast cars & wears clothes obviously designed by a homosexual."

[–] producerbonnie-1 11 years ago

Holy crap.... this was the worst movie I've seen in ages. I couldn't even stick with it until the end. I don't understand why this was marketed as a comedy, a fun "romp", etc. It was dark, lame and pointless.

Cody Horn is one of the worst actresses I have ever been subjected to, and I've watched a lot of high school productions. The dialogue seemed to be improvised most of the time---- were they imitating Woody Allen movies? If so, they should have given it a lot more thought. The cinematography was yellow, off-center, heads cut off, etc.

Good God, I've seen 15-year-olds create videos on YouTube that were better put together than this waste of time.