What's with the cheesy narrator?
What happened to, "Show, don't tell"? Also, it doesn't crop up too often, so when it comes back it pulls me up short.
shareI think it was a good idea to bring in some of the narration of the book (which I haven't read, but it sounds like it's pretty good). Having it only occasionally might have been an error, though. I think they were trying to have it both ways: keep some of the best bits and explain things that couldn't come out via dialogue, while still not having it be the kind of cinematic experience that uses constant narration. Tough to square that circle, and I might have used a different voice actor, but I'm not for taking it out altogether. Maybe using it just slightly more frequently, and/or having some kind of visual cue as to when it is going to come into play.
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I understand about needing to fill in the background, and it's definitely a narrative challenge. I'm just not convinced there is anything that can't be shown or alluded to without resorting to a narrator.
shareReally? The narrator described each character's inner thoughts. Do you envision them expressing these to a sympathetic bartender or something? It can't be to a friend, as a lot of it was way too personal even for a close friend.
The other thing I'd add is that it sounded like the prose was right out of the book, and it was very literary, high quality stuff. I like giving a nod to the author's eloquence that way.
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