MovieChat Forums > Her (2014) Discussion > Amy's boyfriend angry about the shoes......

Amy's boyfriend angry about the shoes....


God dammit, I totally agree with the guy. Like, I know you can be stressed and stuff, but it is not hard to take out your shoes and leave them at the entrance. It just sounded to me like this woman doesn't want to live with rules. Da hell, tomorrow she could just say that she doesn't want to clean the plates anymore because she doesn't want to be told anything. There are just some basic rules of hygiene that are so basic for everyone, is it so hard to follow them?

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People seldom fight about their real problems.

The fight over the shoes was a battle of wills. Amy's husband was rigid and controlling. He even presumed to instruct Theodore about juicing vegetables and eating fruits whole. He told Amy how she should make her film. He struck me as a pretentious snob.

Amy had hit her boiling point with him. The shoe fight is a reflection of their basic incompatibility.

It was clear who was a better match for her.


"a malcontent who knows how to spell"


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I agree with you about the battle of wills. However, Amy is still wrong. She was in an oppressive relationship where, as you say, had basic incompatibilities. However, instead of simply ending the relationship or talking about her issues with him, she decided to take petty revenge by getting the house dirty and breaking basic etiquette that even a 10 year old can adhere to.

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The house isn't dirty if the shoes aren't where one domineering person wants them.
The fight isn't about dirtiness or shoes.

She finally took a stand against a bullying spouse, probably after years of swallowing her anger.
He did not value her as a wife or individual.
She struck back by declaring she wants a divorce, not by where she left her shoes.


"a malcontent who knows how to spell"


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I agree with the two other replies above. This wasn't just about shoes. This man was a domineering, controlling person and she was finally sick of his bull sh!t.

Also, a secondary layer to this is that not every household in the US has a shoe policy. I'm not sure where you are from but maybe you live in one of the cultures where it is an absolute imperative that everyone leave their shoes by the door?

There are certain countries where not to do so would be unthinkable, so perhaps you're reacting over-strongly to Amy's character's lack of conformity. In the US, while some Americans have adopted the "no shoes in the house" policy too, some haven't and don't think of it as a big deal.

But again, this wasn't just about one person in the couple thinking it's not a big deal, and the other person thinking it is. This is about someone so controlling that he allows her failure to get to him rather than remembering this is a woman he loves.

And she was probably so sick of his overbearing nature that she'd finally had it and the shoe argument was only the tip of the iceberg.

When a relationship has truly broken down and the two people aren't even remembering they're supposed to love that person, petty stuff like this is the last straw that breaks the camel's back.






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I don't think she ever said that she didn't want to take her shoes off, even. She just didn't want to put them in that specific place.

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That's OCD man. Get help

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[deleted]

I agree with what previous poster said, it was about control.

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