Has to be one of the worst films of recent times!
It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been disappointed, and it’s certainly not the case that Aftershock is the only abysmal, truly deplorable amateurish wannabe-feature film that I’ve had the displeasure to feast my eager eyes on. Though somehow this felt different… perhaps it was the anticipation, the fact that I (foolishly) avoided reviews and put my faith in Eli Roth, the sick yet somehow unmistakable visionary behind the glorious Cabin Fever (2002) and Hostel (2005) and refused to foresee anything other than a blood-drenched, high octane original thrill ride that would stand as one of the guilty pleasures of the year.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I can inform you with much certainty that there are no pleasures at all to be gained here, and that Nicolas Lopez’ grand, thorough failure is one of the worst movies ever made.
Is it the acting? the directing? pacing? casting? writing? Yes; all of these. I’d wager that even the catering was an unprecedented failure. Without meaning to sound condescending (I truly take no pleasure in kicking a lame dog) here is a film without a single redeemable feature that wallows in its own incompetence from the extended, unbearable intro to the somehow-even-worse final act and exists as an important example for budding filmmakers of what not to do when aiming to make a film consisting of even just an inch of likability. The intense marketing that Roth himself did for Lopez and this abomination is enough to make me lose all respect for him, and casts considerable doubt over what I hoped to be his masterpiece in The Green Inferno, as well as his credentials as a figure in the genre I hold dearly. I understand that as a producer he needs to promote his project, but to recommend Aftershock is to recommend creating a latch in your head and pouring your brain cells down the sink.
As a film fan, I just want to feel a connection to the material displayed before me, whether it be through fear, grief, joy or humor; movies have a magical ability to transport us places and show/teach us things that stick close to our hearts and heads, as well as entertain us like no other art-form in the process. This sorry attempt at entertainment cannot be counted even alongside the dregs of Uwe Boll or Ed Wood, and deserves to disappear deep down the cracks of the quake it conjures to create its awful story.
If this review has spawned curiosity, please consider the 4.8 IMDB score and squash it immediately. I went into Aftershock with every intention to love it and after the first 5 minutes cursed my optimism and collector’s spirit. There is nothing to see here, please move on.
I think I’ve said enough.
0 dancing Eli Roths out of 5
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