The whole Bay date rape storyline was disgusting

That's my point. It was about the dangers of sex not a rape or assault. An accusation of rape is very powerful and it shouldn't just be thrown around like that.

Tank didn't rape or assault Bay. They were two drunks who had sex and Bay woke up and regretted it. I was in College and that happens a lot.

I remember my Frat brother slept with his girlfriends sister when they both got drunk at a party. They both regretted it the next day.

It's drunken sex and too expand that to rape and assault is too broad of a message for such a powerful accusation.

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and of course it had to be the queen of making stupid decisions, regina, that planted the idea of rape inside of bay's head
disgusting

And what bothers me even more is that Bay's guilt is getting the best of her, and in a recent episode, she told Regina she wanted to help Tank, and Regina told her that sometimes things are broken and cannot be fixed.

That's true, but NOT in this case. Bay can fix this. She should fix this.

I do not support any law that takes away a woman's legal right to consent to sex while under the influence. For Regina to say, "If she was that drunk, she couldn't consent," is outrageous. Of course, she could consent. Just like Tank could consent.

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Because it was said in interview Bay was participating in it and not passed out. Plus she was into Tank whole evening.

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Why are you so certain Tank didn't rape her? As the viewers, the very last thing we saw between them regarding the topic of consent was Bay refusing Tank's attempt to make a move on her. Shortly after that, we see them in bed naked the next morning. Given that the last thing we saw on the subject of "yes" or "no" was a pretty obvious no, why is it that so many people assume Tank is innocent?

We saw two versions of that scene. In Tank's version, Bay kisses him. In Bay's version, which comes after she tells Tank she does not remember what happened, Tank says, "I never got over you. You know that?"

Bay responds, "Tank...." and she chuckles.

Then, Tank says, "You're so beautiful."

And Bay says, "Thanks," at which point Tank kisses her. Bay continues, "I'm really drunk."

Tank says, "Me, too," and they continue their kissing in bed.

That's what we saw for Bay's version of events.

To me, there is no obvious "no" from Bay.

I never liked the character of Tank. Some people do, but he has never appealed to me. But I do not think he raped Bay.

One year before Tank and Bay have sex, on the first day Tank ever met Bay, the two of them have this discussion, at his fraternity party:

TANK: "What are you doing?"

BAY: "He has beer in his room."

TANK: "Yeah, we all have beer in our rooms. Do you even know his name?"

BAY: "It's Ledge. It's bluff. It's the thing when you, like, fall."

TANK: "Cliff."

BAY: "Whatever. It's not like he knows my name."

TANK: "If you're drunk enough to think that's a positive, you probably shouldn't be heading back to his room."

BAY: "Okay, well, maybe I want to hook up with Ledge Cliff. And have it not mean anything."

TANK: "Trust me, you're gonna have a million more chances to do that in the next four years, - but right now...." (Bay starts gagging.)

Back then, Bay was brokenhearted over Ty, and she wanted to comfort herself by having sex with Cliff. One year later, Bay is brokenhearted over Emmett, and she wants to comfort herself by having sex with Tank. It's not a big leap to make.

Bay knows that Tank has feelings for her and has never gotten over her, after she cheated on him. In Tank's mind, they are friends. Bay comforting herself by having sex with a friend is a whole lot better than comforting herself by having sex with a stranger. Bay flirts with Tank the entire evening. She looks at him and bats her big brown eyes, giving him her biggest smile. She sits on his lap and allows him to put his hands all over her inner thighs. The other couple participating in the chair races do not do that. That guy keeps his hands on the armrests, and the girl is probably his girlfriend. Bay invites Tank to lie in the bed with her and look at ceiling stars. Bay was literally basking in Tank's comfort of her that evening, as surely as if it was the sun. Bay was drunk enough that it is not a big leap to imagine all of her previous inhibitions about having sex with Tank were gone.

Tank tells Bay, "You did not push me away. You were into it."

Bay asks, "How do you know?"

And Tank says, "Because I didn't black out."

I believe him. Tank wanted to have sex on a previous occasion when he and Bay were dating, and she told him, "No," so he stopped. I have no reason to believe that he would not have stopped this time, too.'

Tank even says to Bay, "Bay If you had said, 'no' at any point, I would have stopped....You woke up today all freaked out because you cheated on your boyfriend, but do not turn around and try to make what happened something that it wasn't. We had sex, Bay. It was not assault."

Some people might say that Tank knows Bay would never cheat on her boyfriend, but how could Tank know that? Bay cheated on Tank, when he was her boyfriend. Everything in Tank's experience from the first moment he met Bay reinforces the idea that having sex with him is exactly how Bay would choose to mend her broken heart over her breakup with Emmett.

Why assume Bay changed her mind when we've never seen evidence of her being sexually attracted to Tank, even when they were dating?

I saw plenty of evidence Bay was sexually attracted to Tank. She flirts with him from the moment she meets him. After Tank rescues Bay, when she cuts her hand open, she is completely enamored of him. She kisses him passionately in her bedroom during her parents' murder mystery party and tells him, "I know. I told you I wasn't interested and now I'm attacking you."

Tank says, "No no, I love the attacking thing."

And Bay says, "Good, because I'm interested. Wanna go back to kissing?"

Tank says, "Yeah. Wow."

Bay says, "We get better with practice," as she continues to play tonsil hockey with Tank, in her bedroom.

Remember, when Bay rejected him while sober, he became explosively angry. That's evidence that he's sexually entitled. He really didn't think it was ok for Bay to say no to sex.

I didn't see explosive anger. I saw some frustration. I didn't like how entitled Tank felt. It's one of the many reasons I have always hated his character, but I don't see how that makes him a rapist.

I do think Tank thought it was okay for Bay to say "no" to sex. I just think that he's immature and self-centered, too.

To me, the fact that Tank stopped is additional evidence that he is not a rapist. Rape is an act of power and control. It has little to do with sex. I do not see Tank as trying to exert his power and control over Bay.

The morning after the incident, the first thing Tank said to Bay was that he knew she thought it was a mistake while boasting that he wanted it to happen.

Yes, he did. Sober, Tank realized that Bay may have regretted what they had done together. That doesn't mean that Tank did not believe Bay wanted to have sex while they were doing it.

Beyond that, it all comes down to the stars. The producers of the show wanted us to know Bay was far, far more incapacitated than Tank. We saw both Bay and Tank gaze at the stars on the ceiling. When Bay saw them, they were blurry as hell. When Tank looked at them, they were crystal clear. Blurry vision is one of the first symptoms of intoxication and Tanks vision was clear. He may have been buzzed, but he most definitely wasn't drunk.

I watched that scene many times, and I felt the producers and writers were saying that both of them were drunk off of their gourds. Bay may have been the least bit more drunk than Tank, but to me, the difference was negligible. Tank's vision was not clear. It was just slightly better than Bay's vision.

My take on this is that the last thing we saw was Bay pulling away from Tank's advances, we know Tank wasn't that drunk, but clearly wanted Bay to think he was, and the morning after, he admitted that he knew Bay did not want it while bragging that he did. Given his history of sexual entitlement and intense jealousy over Bay sleeping with Emmett, but not him, I see far more evidence that Tank crossed the line.

Tank did not admit that he knew Bay didn't want it. He said that he knew she may feel it was a mistake, but that is not the same as saying she didn't want it in the moment. Tank was adamant that Bay DID want it in the moment. He never wavered on that point.

I see it completely different from how you describe it in the above paragraph.

However, the biggest mistake here is the way the whole thing played out. It's great to get people talking, but they needed to make things a little more clear one way or the other. This stopped being a discussion a long time ago. People were/are spewing venom at those who disagree. Unfortunately, that shuts down the possibility of those with different opinions from sharing their thoughts and that is never a good thing.

I don't feel that way.

There is one other thing that bothered me. It's Bay's age. While she wasn't a minor, she was barely 18. The whole thing wouldn't have bothered me as much if she were 28. I still wouldn't have liked it, but if the victim were legally old enough to drink, she would have at least had more experience and would have known how to handle herself better. Tank knew she was naive, inexperienced with alcohol, and in a bad mental place. At best, he took crazy advantage of that. At worst, he raped her. Since nobody saw what happened, the truth is, none of us knows for sure. I just don't understand why so many have jumped to the "Poor Tank" conclusion when the last thing we saw on the topic of consent was "no." Surely there must be some possibility that Tank crossed the line. Yet most of you wont even entertain the possibility.

Bay is an October baby. She was 19 when this happened, and Tank is probably 21. I don't see Bay's age as playing into this at all. Young people have sex.

I could look at this situation as Bay took crazy advantage of Tank. She knows he has carried a torch for her since the moment Daphne told her, well BEFORE she injured her hand. She enjoyed everything Tank had to offer: his friendly advice and comfort over her sadness about both Ty and Emmett; his cheering her on at field hockey games; his praise of her art and support with Professor Ledarsky; his help with her desire to bomb Buckner; his help with her desire to find out about Mandy. Bay took and took and took from Tank. I didn't see her giving a whole lot. Now, NONE Of that means that Bay owes Tank sex. It doesn't.

But here's the thing:

If Bay was going to take so much from Tank and STILL decide she wanted a relationship with Emmett, and if she crushed Tank's soul by cheating on him, after their discussions about how much cheating had hurt her, and after Tank's promises that he would never cheat on Bay, did Bay really have to insist on a friendship with Tank, after she broke his heart?

Imagine this:

What if Emmett had chosen Simone over Bay, when he cheated? Would you have felt it was fair of Emmett to insist that Bay stay friends with him, after he ripped her heart out at prom?

It's one thing for Emmett to beg for Bay's friendship when he DIDN'T choose Simone. But if Emmett had chosen Simone OVER Bay, and if he had still demanded Bay be his friend, people would have thought Emmett was the biggest jackass on the face of the earth.

So why does Bay get to beg Tank for friendship, after she trampled all over him? Why does she get to accompany him to dinner with his dad and pretend that she is STILL Tank's girlfriend, while she is dating Emmett?

How is that fair to either man?

Why does Bay get to tell Tank all about her potential to develop aneurysms, but she never tells Emmett about them, when Emmett is her boyfriend?

Doesn't Bay realize what MIXED SIGNALS she is sending Tank? Here she is telling Tank everything that is wrong in her relationship with Emmett (that's a big breach of trust) AND she is telling Tank about her deepest, most intimate fears over her physical health, when she is leaving her boyfriend in the dark, and she thinks Tank is supposed to understand what all of that means?

I understand why Tank might have thought Bay was sexually attracted to him that night at the dorm party. With as hard as Tank has always crushed on Bay, everything Bay said and did for the last year sent Tank mixed signals.

It was so unfair of Bay to do that to him.

It's not that much of a stretch for me to imagine that a heartbroken Bay would enjoy kissing Tank at that dorm party and want to do much, much more with him.

Plus, the person who responded an hour before me is right. Lizzy Weiss the showrunner and writer of the episodes has said in multiple interviews that BOTH Bay and Tank were completely smashed from the alcohol. She has said that Tank is 100% honest with everything he says in every episode. She has said that Tank never once lies about anything.

And that makes sense to me. If Tank wanted to lie, he could get himself out of the whole situation. All he would have needed to say was this:

"Bay, I know I said we had sex that night. But the truth is I was so drunk that I couldn't get an erection when you wanted it. I didn't want to admit that truth because I was embarrassed. We never had sex that night."

Bay has no memory. The condom was long gone. There were no witnesses. If Tank wanted to lie, then that's all he needed to say to Bay, and all of his troubles would have been gone.

So in my mind, Tank has to be telling the truth. Otherwise, he would get himself out of this mess.

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thanks for this post.

for this episode was so important.

i did have a similar situation many years ago and it was so healing to see the support Bay received.

So many people think that rape has to be violent and viscious. but it can sneek up on you.

in this case the icky factor for me was that Bay had NO recollection of what happened. There is a fine line between giving consent and regretting it afterwards or waking up and knowing something happened that you don't even remember nor wanted to happen.


in one scene Tank was asked if on some level he knew he did something wrong and he hesitated for a few seconds too long. that was proof enough for me that he'd known that he'd crossed a line.
this issue was dealt with in Veronica Mars (as mentioned before) and also in Felicity. I did like this episode the best though. It did show different opinions and points of views very nicely imo.

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If someone is to drunk to say no, they are also to drunk to say yes.
While I didn't like what they did to the character Tank, because I like that character, it is not hard to know if someone is to drunk to consent to sex, if she is to drunk to actively participate(or just lie there) in kissing, fondling and so on, it is hands(penis) off.
So yes, Tank did rape Bay, while I didn't like it.
It's the same thing if he had roofied Bay, no consent, because of impaired faculties.

No, Tank did not rape Bay, and no, it was not the same thing as if he had roofied her.

If people believe Bay was too drunk to consent to sex, based on what we saw on our TV screens, if THAT is where people draw the line, then yes, it IS hard for a man to know if someone is too drunk to consent to sex.

Because Bay was NOT just lying there in the bed with Tank. Bay was an active participant in the kissing and the fondling.

Now, if people draw the line where you suggest, then yes, you are correct, it IS easy to know if someone is too drunk. If someone is lying in bed, like an inanimate object, and not participating in the sex, then of course, it is easy to know they are too drunk.

But back to Bay, she wasn't doing that. Bay was an active participant in the sex with Tank.

According to the Switched at Birth writers, their story arc was inspired by a real-life situation that occurred in September 2013 at Occidental College where Switched at Birth films. In that real-life scenario, the young woman is also an active participant. Two housemates enter the dorm room during the couple's sexual intercourse and witness her on top. They ask if she is okay, and she says "yes" three times. Text messages show her leaving to go retrieve a condom and to bring it back to the guy's dorm room. She even texts her friends to tell them she is going to have sex. Now, the next morning, she cannot remember anything that happened, just like Bay. But she was an active participant, while it was happening.

Tank clearly states that Bay was into it. The writers have said in multiple interviews that Tank is telling the truth. Plus, if Tank wanted to lie, he could have told Bay that they did not have sex. She cannot remember. He would have been off the hook, if he wanted to lie.

So obviously Tank is telling the truth. Bay was into it at the time. From the pictures and the comments made by fellow college students, it is evident. Those two Deaf students said that everyone knew Bay wanted to hook up with Tank that night. We saw Bay flirt with Tank all evening. Bay is the one who invited Tank to lie in the bed next to her. Tank clearly said he would not have proceeded if Bay had not been into it. He told that to Bay, Toby, John.

Bay even tells Daphne that she may have said "yes" when she first explains what happened. Bay was not too drunk to say "no" (both the character Bay and the showrunner Lizzy Weiss have indicated that).

Bay may have actually verbalized that "yes" to Tank, and whether she verbalized it or not, her actions gave Tank a resounding yes.

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She's not responsible for her actions because she was drunk, yet he is responsible for his actions despite also being drunk. This makes no sense to me.

Welcome to the real world. I hate to sound so negative and pessimistic, but unfortunately this is what happens from time to time. Is it fair or right? Absolutely not. Is it the real world? Sadly, yes.

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I agree!

Tank was a very likable character. The writers must have something against guys in Frats. They ruined a good character for no reason.

Like I said, rape is a very serious issue and so is the accusation of rape.

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You sound like a nut.

That isn't rape. Bay wasn't a victim. She chose to drink and Tank didn't force himself on her. I could see if he slipped something in her drink but he didn't.

If we arrested everybody that hooked up when they were drunk on College Campuses and regretted it the next day, the Campuses would be empty.

I went to College and I have hooked up with Girls when I was drunk that I wouldn't hook up with when I was sober. Did the girls rape me? Is this just another silly double standard from so called feminist?

Rape is a serious issue and you're scaring someone for life with the label of sex offender for a drunk College hook up. That's insane.

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