MovieChat Forums > I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) Discussion > Another self-congratulatory pat in the b...

Another self-congratulatory pat in the back for American women?

posted 13 years ago by junaidn
18 replies | jump to latest

You would think, based on the title, that SJP was working for 12 cents an hour while carrying her kids across the Sahara desert searching for a vaccine clinic.

Do American women really lack so much self-awareness as the characters that portray them on TV and movies? This is a genuine question, as I'm not from the West and would think that in light of the economic recession, they would be more attuned to the happenings of other places around the world.

[–] Gordon_Gartrelle 13 years ago

DOn't forget her husband is a stay at home dad.

I apologize for grammatical errors- a side effect of IMDbing on my iPhone.

[–] junaidn 13 years ago

Fascinating. It almost makes me want to give her a Nobel prize.

[–] groovymike_16 13 years ago

Oh please, it's still really hard trying to be everything to everyone. I'm not a woman but I'm always saying to my female friends "I don't know how you do it." They are like renaissance women. You have to be on all of the time. My friends never get breaks. When they're sick it doesn't matter, they still have to be a mother and have to work. Hell, when I'm sick I shut down until I get better. I don't feel like doing anything. For most families both parents have to work just so you can get by.

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[–] otter68 13 years ago

"DOn't forget her husband is a stay at home dad. "

But apparently since she has SO much to do at home, her husband just sits around all day and watches TV, so she has to handle all the parenting chores as well as her job, or she has to work 80 hours a week and still help out around the house.

"Leeches suck!"

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] cidandreevefangirl 13 years ago

Perhaps an appropriate title should be "I don't know WHY she does it"

Seriously, if my husband sat around all day, while I had to take care of both making money for the family AND looking after the children/house, I'd tell him to shape up or ship out!

[–] lady_winter2 13 years ago

Actually, this is a British book by a British author, not about American women at all :)

[–] Shadow_dragn88 13 years ago

To be fair, amount made is relative to the area you live in. In some countries making 12 cents an hour would easily support several large families. For those in more expensive cultures it takes more. While I will admit that this particular movie does show a higher class of citizen, not all movies do.

Also, this is not just about the money made or the class she is in. This movie focuses on a woman who is doing most of the work for her family. Something that a lot of people, of both genders and many cultures, don't understand how hard it is to do. Especially if you are receiving little to no help from any other adult source.

[–] junaidn 13 years ago

Uh, have you ever went anywhere outside of North America or Europe? The purchasing power of 12 cents is a lot less than you might think it is. What women are facing in other parts of the world requires actual sacrifice i.e. losing a child to starvation, not living past 40, having to solicit oneself for money, etc.

I really don't think not being able to see your child's play in school is a pressing concern.

[–] moans83 13 years ago

Very interesting to hear the perspective from a non-Western person living in a totally different world. He makes a good point about how relatively lucky we have it here, but at the same time, that hardly matters to people.

For example, say you have a disease that tires you out and makes you feel crappy all the time, but isn't life threatening or as bad as it gets, will it make you feel better to have someone tell you "you should be happy you don't have cancer"?

No, of course not. People are not good at relating to situations they are not directly affected by, so telling a stressed out career woman with 3 kids about the mothers in Africa won't make her think her life is easy.

Anyway, as a working woman who will (someday) have kids, I do not want to hear ANY man say that we are not at a disadvantage. Having the baby and leaving work to take care of the baby (even if it's just 5-9 months) is 100% an inconvenience on your career.

[–] hppg 12 years ago

I hate it when people try and point out "oh but it's crap in such and such an undeveloped country"

Yes, of course it is, but that doesn't mean those of us in fortunate countries shouldn't strive for the best society we can have. It's not like we should all just give up and none of us should be allowed to ever be unhappy because hey, at least we're not starving and dying!

I'm sure there's a middle ground.

In most cases, if both parents work, it is harder to be a working mother than a working father. You can't change everything (i.e. pregnancy) but hopefully we will eventually work towards more family-friendly workplaces (that benefits EVERYBODY in society) and more equality in household chores and things will improve.

That said, the film was crap.

[–] MarblesLove 11 years ago

I was thinking the same thing. Just because we are fortunate enough to live in a more developed country doesn't mean we don't have concerns. I mean just because there are starving kids in (pick a country) doesn't mean my (hypothetical) kid doesn't have a right to be sad that I miss her school play or that I can't be worried about the fact that I missed her play.

Of course it's sad and unfortunate that people are starving to death and that certain groups (i.e. women, gay) don't have certain rights in other countries (maybe even here) but that doesn't make our struggles less valid. They may not be as bad, you could say, but they're just as real.

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[–] lamont-hard 13 years ago

I say good portrayal of a working mom. But I often wonder why a good working dad/husband is like a forgotten thing in Hollywood. They are portrayed so many times as they work to much, too busy not paying attention to there wives, or to many long hours. When this is how a lot of men feel they are meeting there responsibilities. Many men know of no other way. It would be good if Hollywood would get back to showing pride in a man taking care of his family also. As we have gotten around to praising working women we should not loose sight there are guys who are doing it also, maybe not diminish women heroism, but once in a while give the good hard working dad/husband some credit in films also.

[–] purpleblows 13 years ago

you're joking right?

[–] sane1216 13 years ago

No, I don't think he is. It is an extreme double standard among hollywood and some "feminist." Often the working father is portrayed as a bad thing while the working mother, no matter how long/hard she works at the office, is portrayed as something all women should strive to be. It's hypocrisy.

And to the lady who mentioned pregnancy, that's biological. While I do not mind a woman taking time off for a pregnancy as I understand it's part of the family building process and the biological nature of the female. I once sat, without thinking about it and observed how often a female co-worker was out of the office for pregancies and or doctors appointments and everyone else had to pick up her slack...other females included. Did everyone understand, YES, including myself, but at the same time I could perfectly understand if someone got upset about her constant abscences. Like I said in another thread, its something we, mostly females, did to themselves by demanding all this upon society. Now offices and business are expected to give in to more demands and what not. Would they be nice, yes, but do they absolotuely positively have to do it, no.

Also, before anyone says anything to me about being a selfish lazy man, I work, my wife stays at home, I find myself bugging her more to do more of the housework because I end up doing it when I get home from work on my day off. So stop pushing false ideologies on society about how women are so empowered when they work out of the house and then go home and cook and clean. I know plenty of guys who do the same thing in this day and age, but "feminist" want to scoff at that because they want to continue the ideology that women are the victims of society.

[–] purpleblows 13 years ago

there is nothing wrong with stay at home mothers, there is nothing wrong with your wife.

[–] sane1216 13 years ago

Did I say there was anything wrong with her, I said I find myself, who works, bugging her about house duties and or doing them myself more often than she does. It destroys the ideology you have about men not helping or pulling their weight...that's all.

[–] first-things-first 12 years ago

You would think, based on the title, that SJP was working for 12 cents an hour while carrying her kids across the Sahara desert searching for a vaccine clinic.

I disagree, it should have displayed a woman who wanted her career and be there to watch her kids grow. That conflict is real for some women. I missed my son's first hair cut and I was furious with my then husband. He cut off his curls. I think my husband (at the time) wanted our son to look more like a male. Those first words, those smiles when they do something for the first time. Yeah, we are self-aware at what we are missing. To let the economy scare you into not enjoying motherhood is horrible. I read an article once about people dialing back to enjoy family. Wanting less to be with family. How good are you if the economic crisis keeps you from teaching your children to be a part of humanity, not own it.

"...as long as people can change, the world can change"