MovieChat Forums > Sister Wives (2010) Discussion > Meri really is in a bad predicament

Meri really is in a bad predicament

posted 8 years ago by purple-mane
37 replies | jump to latest

Kody and she are at odds and she is telling him that she needs him, but the love seems to be gone, from his perspective at least.
But he has 3 others he can turn to..for support and intimacy. She does not have that, so that makes the problems between the two of them weigh much much more heavily on her, causing more strife, depression, anxiety, etc...to her.
Then she only has the one child. If she and Kody did decide to end their relationship permanently, what happens to her? She stands to lose so much while he is left still with 3 wives and hundreds of children (lol)
She has probably always known this, or sensed that her place is pretty low on the totem pole, but was unable to get herself into a better position because she is severely lacking in her interpersonal skills. But even if she had wonderful personal skills, she would still be pretty low on the totem pole and in a pretty insecure position in that family, simply due to logistics.
She needs a counselor who can help her gain her personal power back while at the same time build the relationships she has.
Actually feel pretty bad for her. I wouldn't want to be in her position.

Also I think the introduction of Robyn into the family really shook things up for her..

[–] afamouspetty 8 years ago

I agree. I think Robyn coming in (even though a few years now), really caused a lot of issues not just for Meri but all of the wives. I think mentally Meri thought it was a good idea because at first they said it was Meri's idea. Christine was the first one to be vocal about it and not being real happy, but I think it bothered all. Jannelle though, seems to just take everything and not really make waves so I don't know how much it bothered her. Anyway, I think Kody checked out a long time ago. I think he focused too much on "courting" Robyn, then traveling to her house away from the others. That put strain a while back and it kept building. Then he spent way more time with her than the other wives and worked on that marriage. I didn't see much work with the other wives. Meri was able to manage her emotions because her daughter was at home but when she left she lost it as many women do in my opinion. The whole empty nest syndrome. Many people have mentioned Kody's preference is Robyn and he favors her. Weather true or not I know for several seasons it appeared that way. They kept saying the divorce was for adoption and it was a "business" transaction but it was celebrated with a trip to Hawaii. I think with that, Robyn having 2 kids right away whereas Meri had one, Mariaha leaving for school, and Meri left to her own "over thinking" I can see how this happened with the catfishing. It doesn't make it right, I think it was a storm that just kept gaining strength. Kody does seem like the type to run when things get tough. Run right to another wife. I feel Meri and Kody are staying together at this point for the show. Meri is very unhappy in this relationship from all portrayals in the show. But what can she do? She isn't working that I am aware of, she lives by everyone (so she could at least be around the kids), but she can't really get away from the drama. I think they need the show to pay for the lifestyle they now have and trying to milk it as long as they possibly can. I am wondering though, what happens if something happens to Kody- what if Robyn takes all the assets? They are all in a tough spot and I just don't trust Robyn to do the right thing since she is new to the family.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

I was surprised when someone said they had problems before Robyn came on the scene because it doesn't appear that way to me. Meri's physical appearance changed drastically once the show started. That was a sign something was wrong with her, but I wouldn't have thought it was going on before the show and Robyn. The divorce and marriage were for the adoption and the trip to Hawaii was before that happened. Meri does have a job now. She is selling clothes online and at parties. Robyn doesn't have control over any assets but her own - they all have wills. I think TLC needs them more than they need TLC at this point. They're a ratings winner for them.

[–] kem7696 8 years ago

I was surprised when someone said they had problems before Robyn came on the scene because it doesn't appear that way to me.

Thats just it, we have only seen them with her on the show, so we really have no way of knowing if they had problems before Robyn came along or not, but I tend to believe that they did have issues. It was Meri's idea from Kody to start courting/dating Robyn, I have a feeling that her and Kody were having issues and that maybe she thought this could in some weird way help them.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

Then why did Meri's appearance change so drastically after the show started? Plus I don't know that Meri had a lot to say about the show. The show was Kody's baby with probably Christine onboard and how could any of them turn down that kind of money? Also, in regard to Robyn, there would be no Robyn without the show. I know they've built this story about Meri bringing Robyn into the family, but I think TLC brought Robyn into the family.

[–] kem7696 8 years ago

Peoples appearances can change at anytime, nit really sure what the show has to do with it, but its not like we knew what she looked like before the show started.

The show was Kody's baby with probably Christine onboard and how could any of them turn down that kind of money?

Um okay, not sure what this has to do with my post, never said anything about money.

Also, in regard to Robyn, there would be no Robyn without the show. I know they've built this story about Meri bringing Robyn into the family, but I think TLC brought Robyn into the family.

No sure I buy that one, but if you do, then more power to you!!

[–] cinles 8 years ago

Peoples appearances can change at any time, nit really sure what the show has to do with it, but it's not like we knew what she looked like before the show started.

You must not have seen the first episodes. I think someone gaining a tremendous amount of weight in a short time after life altering events has to mean something.

Um okay, not sure what this has to do with my post, never said anything about money.

Money is the reason they did the show and added Robyn to the family.

No sure I buy that one, but if you do, then more power to you!!

Some of the Sister Wives were collecting welfare and filed bankruptcy - I'm sure they were going to agree to a 4th wife and Kody renting another house for her & her 3 kids. But yes, your opinion makes more sense.

[–] kem7696 8 years ago

You must not have seen the first episodes. I think someone gaining a tremendous amount of weight in a short time after life altering events has to mean something.

Yep watched it and watched every episode. Again some people gain and lose weight alot.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

Except Meri didn't lose any weight - her entire appearance changed and stayed that way. Not just her appearance, but they portrayed her at the beginning as the strong matriarch of the family which may or may not have been true, but Meri changed after the show started.

[–] afamouspetty 8 years ago

people change all the time, with varying stressors.. I think Robyn was a huge stressor. I don't know how it happened or why it truly happened and we only know what they say. I am really disbelieving them at this point. It is not about religion like they claim. I see no signs of religion in their lives anymore. Their clothing has changed too where it was very modest they now wear shirts without shirts underneath. Meri's coloring is odd to me. Like she has a touch of jaundice. I know they said she was sick too for a while which could also add to the stress as well as her daughter going off to college. Moving from Utah to Vegas is a stress thing also. New people, schools, ways of life all effect someone. I think with money and the success of the show they had more people as stylist too. I am fairly comfortable thinking that Kody wanted the show for financial reasons, which brought in more stress. That is a lot of stuff to get used to. I feel bad for all the wives because they all seem to have poor self esteem and Kody never calls them beautiful or builds them up that I have seen. They have all changed but I have a huge issue with Robyn...

[–] Margo409 8 years ago

It is pretty obvious that Meri had issues before Robyn came along, she had a lot of issues with Janelle and that would definitely affect a marriage. Meri was extremely jealous then (and maybe now) and now Meri and Janelle have a bad relationship so I am sure that impacted Kody and Meri's relationship in some ways.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

I think they were comfortable in whatever relationships they had before the show and Robyn and the abrupt change just blew things up. Plus, while lately, the Sister Wives drama has been real, much of it is made up or exaggerated.

[–] Margo409 8 years ago

I don't think so, Meri and Janelle were not comfortable with each other and that definitely had to effect the family and her relationship with Kody.

It isn't made up or exaggerated since we all know for a fact Meri and Janelle had issues with each other, Meri was jealous and that would definitely effect her marriage.

Not to mention all the baby drama Meri had in the past because she couldn't get pregnant, that would also effect her marriage. I think her and Kody have had issues for a very long time.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

From looking at the first episodes which many people seem to have forgotten, they had settled into a comfortable life. Maybe Kody and Meri had problems, but considering they all lived in the same house, it didn't seem to affect them when watching those episodes. Those episodes were the most realistic because it was before they started getting highly produced. Janelle, Christine, and Meri seemed to have jelled into a family - maybe they weren't perfect and had their issues, and while I believe much of what they wrote in the book and what is on the show, I also know they have to have drama to sell a book or get TV viewers.

[–] FreyjaAlexa 8 years ago

The first few episodes the Browns almost seem like a different family to me. Maybe it was because they were in Utah close to their church, the dynamic of living all under one roof fit them better, or the addition of a fourth wife who came with a ton of baggage was just too much for them, but they seemed much happier back then. Of course they had their issues, but they appeared to be functioning fine. Meri's appearance then vs. now is startling.

[–] jonnieblack 8 years ago

Sunday's episode really showed how much Meri's appearance has changed. Everyone looks a little older, Janelle and Christine's weight has fluctuated, Robin has lost the bad perm, but Meri has changed pretty drastically.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

I noticed that last night and it's not just her physical appearance, but there was something else that changed with Meri. I can't put my finger on it - I think she had more confidence when the show started. I guess we all figured that one out.

[–] jonnieblack 8 years ago

That is true, she used to come off as the dominant personality among the wives, (not a criticism), but that is not the case anymore. I would guess it has a lot to do with her diminishing role in the family. Plyg culture is all about raising kids and she has none at home. Neither will she likely have many grandchildren. Mariah has changed a great deal since leaving home and I would not think she will marry young and start popping out kids right away.

[–] afamouspetty 8 years ago

no one has a perfect life. I didn't know they had issues or not before the show because really it was already in the works for him to be with Robyn when it started. Technically anything Kody is on- real estate, etc. if he died his wife would get his share unless it is written differently.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

Technically anything Kody is on- real estate, etc. if he died his wife would get his share unless it is written differently.

It is - they all wills. Actually the last time someone looked, Kody's name was still listed as an owner on Meri's house and not on Robyn's.

[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

I clearly recall Kody and Meri showing a lot of affection towards each other during their interviews in the early seasons. Meri would often rest her hand on Kody, and Kody seemed more inclined to comfort Meri than the other women. I don't remember exactly when things shifted for them, but clearly being on the show has had pros and cons. Their finances are obviously better, but the fame has affected their personal relationships.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

Remember their trip to Mexico? I don't think there were any problems then and Meri and Kody have proven to not be the consummate actors - unlike Christine. 😂

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

When the show first premiered we saw two 1/2 hour episodes; the first episode was first a year earlier and introduced Kody, his three wives, and their children. The second episode was the one where Robin was introduced and was filmed a year after the first episode.

In that first episode we are presented with a family that had worked out their relationships and roles, with Kody, Meri, and Janelle all working full time and Christine being the stay at home mom who held everything at home together. Kody described Meri as being his soulmate, Janelle as his best friend, and Christine as his fun wife.

While bringing Robyn into the family created some of the drama, I think things fell apart once the show actually aired on TV. As a result of the show Meri was fired from Provo Canyon School because the owners felt that it presented a conflicting message to the delinquents they work with while employing someone that was breaking the law. Then when Kody decided to make a mountain out of a mole hill and have the entire family flee Utah for glitzy Las Vegas, the entire dynamic of the family changed.

Janelle had to quit her very lucrative job with The State of Utah, Meri had already been stripped of her job, and Christine just happily drank the koolaid and agreed to flee. Robyn was just along for the ride and her 15 minutes of fame.

While I don't blame everything on Robyn, for 20 years the family had functioned and had worked out their roles, and had learned to function as a family. Once Robyn came into the picture, which coincides with the show, the family became highly dysfunctional.

[–] Jandersonu2 8 years ago

Don't forget that at the the filming of the first episode at least two of the wives were on food stamps and I think all of them had declared bankruptcy to get out of debt payment. They needed this show for the money, still do. Janelle said in their book that part of the reason she left the family for 2 years was over financial mismanagement. So this family had problems long before Robin came in. She just made them worse.

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

When the show first started the only one that was eligible for food stamps was Christine. Even though Janelle has 5 kids that she was claiming as a head of household, her income would have precluded her from applying for food stamps. I know what her income was with the State of Utah, and she would not have been income eligible.

The most fiscally responsible person in this family is Janelle and she filed bankruptcy while the family was still living in Wyoming; however, she is the one that initially purchased the home in Lehi, so she pulled it around somewhere along the line.

While people think that food stamps is public assistance, it isn't in its purist form. It isn't just women and children that are on food stamps, it is entire families. Six years ago during the worst of the recession I read about a county in Kentucky where 60% of the residents were on food stamps. That is because they were income eligible.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

So this family had problems long before Robin came in. She just made them worse.

Robyn was good for the finances of the family, but I don't think anyone has equated her with that. Her impact on the family is not related to money.

[–] afamouspetty 8 years ago

I think she has been a financial burden on the family. She came heavily in debt according to all records with 3 kids and wasn't working. She was put up in a rental house paid for by Kody and that was money from the rest of the family to support her, her home, utilities, and her children. She has been clear their biological dad doesn't support them. Bringing all that in while all the jealously and stirring things up didn't help either. Finances were even more of a mess bringing her in. Maybe if she had something to offer or add to the family I would see her differently but she comes out of nowhere, adds nothing, sucks them down the financial rabbit hole further, gets things even more stirred up. Then she is put up on a pedestal by being the preferred wife as several seasons have shown, she now is the "legal" wife (again if Kody died SHE would get his social security, life insurance, 401k, etc) and have a stake in any asset Kody is tied to. She doesn't work a real job (her jewelry is way over priced), keeps having kids which is more financial burden, and gets trips to Hawaii after weaving her way in. YES I GET they allegedly did it for adoption but they could LEGALLY divorce now and he would still be the adoptive father. It would not be defrauding anyone, and another wife such as Jannelle is who I think he should be legally married to at this point. I think she would do the right thing, she has done her time with him. The only thing I see is that Meri & Jannelle don't really care about sex or really anything with Kody anymore. They are just co-existing from everything portrayed on the show. Christine is still trying but it is getting to the point it is just Kody and Robyn with the other ladies just hanging around for ratings and money.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

(again if Kody died SHE would get his social security, life insurance, 401k, etc) and have a stake in any asset Kody is tied to.

What's interesting is Meri is entitled to part of Kody's social security and Robyn is entitled to part of David Jessop's. The same goes if he has any 401(k) savings. I'm sure his life insurance is evenly split. They've talked about insurance and wills before, even though they made comments, really a joke when Robyn and Kody got married. As far as what Kody owns, the only big asset we know about is half of Meri's house. That is after they sell the Lehi house which is in Meri, Janelle and Kody's name.

[–] afamouspetty 8 years ago

while yes Meri could get a small part of social security if Kody died because they were married for 10 years. That is the way it works. I didn't think Robyn was married to David for at least 10 years but I don't really know. If so then yes she could be eligible for some, if he died, but I'm referring to how the other wives could be screwed if Kody died financially. But social security is NEVER the full benefit for the ex wife. All his legal kids under 18 would get some sort of payment. I do not recall anyone talking about anything. But it is very strange to me that Kody is on Meri's house and not on any others. But Robyn could take that being the "legal" wife. That is why it has been long enough. HE should legally divorce her and let Janelle or Christine be the legal wife. I would trust Robyn a whole lot more if that happened. I heard they sold the Lehi house.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

I don't think I ever brought up social security, I just repeated the laws. Robyn was pregnant with Dayton when she and David Jessop got married and I'm not sure when they divorced, but it had to be around and/or close to 10 years. Someone checked and Kody is now on Robyn's deed, but still on Meri's also.

But Robyn could take that being the "legal" wife.

Robyn is not entitled to any asset acquired before they were married, so no she has no claim on Meri's house.

But it is very strange to me that Kody is at Meri's house and not on any others.

People need to show financial responsibility when buying a house. Kody couldn't be financially responsible for all 4 houses. However, it is still an unknown about the financial ownership of the homes which is a different topic altogether. Kody tweeted that they had sold the Lehi house.

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

Kody tweeted that they had sold the Lehi house.

The trust deed was recorded in August and the property was sold as rental property (triplex).

[–] cinles 8 years ago

They must have either sold it as a fixer upper or done some major work to make it 3 separate apartments. Good for them - now Kody can use his share to buy his wives something nice for Christmas.  

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

It is hard to tell how much money they walked away with since they bought the property for $417,000 and the new trust deed shows the property sold for $300,000.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

There goes them putting any money into it. But they probably owned it or had a lot of equity. Didn't they own it for 10-15 years?

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

Janelle bought the property in 2006 for $332,000, then Meri and Kody were added to the trust deed with a new mortgage of $417,000 in 2008. I have a feeling that was when they did major renovations to the house. Even though we always saw Christine using the stairs coming up into Meri's living room, the basement has its own outside entrance.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

So they borrowed against it in 2008? I wonder why they caved now if they're losing money when real estate is on the rebound. Real estate here passed the rebound and is floating around space somewhere. Maybe not so much in Lehi, Utah?

[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

It looks like it was a total refinance in 2008. Most of Utah has rebound, but the part of Lehi the house is located in is not really a place I would want to buy property.

Edit: I decided that I needed to explain that last statement. The house is in a small subdivided area that is bordered on the East side by a busy street that is semi industrial/commercial and on the West by farmland. That farmland is not being developed so it isn't likely that the land values in that subdivision are going to go up.

Note: most of the farmland is polygamist owned.

[–] cinles 8 years ago

If the farmland is owned by polygamists, I'm surprised they haven't been able to sell before now. Probably too notorious.