MovieChat Forums > Sister Wives (2010) Discussion > Mariah is being a very unaccepting about...

Mariah is being a very unaccepting about it

posted 8 years ago by sarah_mcskoc
5 replies | jump to latest

I feel Mariah is being very bitchy about her announcement and her mother´s reaction (well, what else is new, right). As a matter of fact, I see this quite often in young people that come out to their families. Come on, you have had months, maybe even years to think about it, process, realize what you think about yourself being gay and how you feel about it. Then you come out and you expect your parents to cope in a milisecond and be nothing but supportive? It is a learning curve for them as well, and they have right to be confused, say weird sh*t (like when Meri used this exact word) in the process (and I am not talking about extremes like kicking the child out, but it´s clear that´s not what we are working with here), and maybe even NOT be supportive about it. For the parents it´s a difficult thing to go through, maybe even a grieving process in a way (and it doesn´t have to be for selfish (but are they really selfish) reasons like losing their image of what your family will be, but simply the fact that their child´s way is going to be more difficult than they would like it to be, naturally).
I don´t know, it just irks me in a way, if I should ever use the connction "gay people are selfish", it would be in this sense - selfish about accepting only 100% support from parents that as a preventive move have already lived as if their child might be gay. With all the (justified!) pride movement many gay people act almost ... elitist about it in a way.
It´s JUST sex orientation, it´s not like you have cancer, right.

[–] maya-912-366050 8 years ago

Wow, they are elitist because they fight for equal rights? Would you say that about blacks? No because you would be accused of being racist.

It isn't just sexual orientation. Are you really that ignorant to what they face for the rest if their lives? Bigots who will bash them. People wanting to deny them basic rights (some states are trying to make it legal for a paramedic to refuse medical care to gay people). Religious people screaming that they will burn in hell. There is nothing elitist about being gay. Having cancer is not a stigma. People support you, feel sorry for you.

Did you really ask if it is selfish to be worried about your own image when your child is gay? Yes. Yes. Yes.

The talk with Meri was not a milisecond later. It was weeks later. And the only thing that frustrated Mariah was her mother assuming she would never marry and have kids. Instead of actually talking and asking her daughter, she makes assumptions.

Yes, when you are gay you expect your family to support you. When you face a world of hate and prejudice, the one place you expect to find understanding is your own family.

I have a cousin and a few gay friends. And they will tell you the first people you tell is very telling. Both about who that person is and your relationship. She didn't tell her mom. She didn't tell her dad or a sister mom. She told her big brother. She felt safe knowing she could tell Logan her deepest secret and he would not turn on her, but also give her strength.

[–] Margo409 8 years ago

^ Everything you said I agree with 100%

It was Meri's own fault for expecting a son in law and expecting her daughter to give her grandchildren, Mariah doesn't owe Meri that at all.

I cringed so bad when Meri said "it is weird" and then tried so hard to correct herself and act like it was about her thoughts when we all know what she really meant by that statement.

Some people still don't understand how difficult it is to be gay even still now and don't understand what gay people have gone through for so many years.

[–] angie_taranto 8 years ago

I think Meri is allowed to feel how she feels. Her mistake was putting that on Mariah and expecting Mariah to make her feel better. She should have worked thru her feelings away from Mariah, especially considering the strain between them. I've been the person wanting everything to go back to how it was. It sucks, even more so when we try to force things. The more Meri pushes the further away Mariah gets. Meri really needs to take this time to figure out who she is and what she wants to do with the rest of her life. One of the hardest lessons is that we can't go backwards. Every season ends and things are always changing. I sure hope that they can work thru their issues bc the mother/daughter relationship is an important one.

[–] bluekrush 8 years ago

I understood a lot of what you are talking about until you said that gay people are selfish. You generalizing. Not all gay people think their parents will accept things right away. Many know their parents will struggle with it but at least want to know they are still loved. I think when gay activist groups put out an expectation that people should accept it immediately, it's because they feel society needs to change so that individuals minds open to a broader sense of what their children's lives might be like.. Of course that isn't society now so Mary's feelings of grief are understandable buts she really should have dealt with it herself instead of making Mariah feel like she was taking something away from her by being who she is.

[–] iheartkingofqueens 8 years ago

I don't know. There is a no win for Meri in this situation.

If she talks to Mariah about it, she is taking something away from her or making Mariah feel bad.

If she stays away until she processes it on her own, she is not supportive of her daughter when she needs her.

If she stuffs her true feelings and acts as though everything is fine and dandy around Mariah, but struggles secretly, then she is a fake.

It is a no win. I don't think anyone who isn't a parent can even begin to realize how this effects one. And I don't think that parents can really say how they would handle this until they go through it.

Personally I would be crushed if my child came to me with that news. I hope I would be able to handle it as well as Meri did.

Opinions are like armpits: Most everyone has two and they usually stink. But have a great day!!!!!