Why is Mykelti so insecure - Sister Wives (2010) Discussion

[–] canadianpuppy 8 years ago

"her excessively paranoid mother's rants went to her head"

That's exactly what it is. Her mother has a phobia of toasters for god sakes, and probably countless other idiotic things. Christine blows her fears and anxiety out of proportion as a way of getting attention. She likes to pretend it's "quirky" and part of her fun personality, but I think it had an effect on Mykelti.

Or, maybe Mykelti just blurted that out randomly and it's not really that big of a deal, who knows.

~Oh look... a room full of men that have NO idea how to satisfy a woman.~

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

Kody used that word 'safe' with Mariah, so it's a 'Brown word' they picked up from therapy. I think it's something they've been taught in terms of their polygamist background too and Mykelti is interpreting it somewhat like her mother instead of 'my parents want me to be with an all around good guy'. But I agree Christine had some input.

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[–] Poetist 8 years ago

Kody used that word 'safe' with Mariah, so it's a 'Brown word' they picked up from therapy. I think it's something they've been taught

Bingo!

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[–] desertdude1953 8 years ago

Mykelti admitting that protectiveness is the quality she finds most important in a husband was kind of strange. A young woman with lots of brothers, a large extended family, and fairly sheltered life doesn't seem like they would need to be made to feel safe.

Let me play devil's advocate here. She has come from a very over protective family where she has always felt safe. She has a lot of brothers, a lot of siblings, and a lot of parents, that always made sure that she, most of all, felt safe. Throughout the time we have watched Mykelti grow up, she has been the different, rebellious child. But her family made it safe for her to be so.

If she is picking a forever partner, I can see that as a priority for her. When you get married you are looking for a replacement for your birth family. With Tony, he represents protectiveness, security, and the ability to feel safe just being Mykelti.

To me he reflects a flake; however, I don't have to be married to him or to have him married to my daughter.

I don't see her as being any more or less insecure as she has always been. In the Brown family, she has always been a special snowflake.

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[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

The thing is though, when someone grows up in a safe environment-it is all they know. People that feel safe don't know what it feels like to not be safe and so it wouldn't be a priority for them.

Many young adults her age think they can conquer the world- they feel indestructible and "feeling safe" isn't something they would be very concerned about. I know I wasn't worried about feeling safe at her age.

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

I agree with Julie. When you grow up in a secure way you don't think about it - it's just who you are and secure people tend to do exactly that - they want to fly and conquer the world. As other posters have said, this 'feeling safe' is the polygamy influence. I think Mykelti is more immature than her siblings of the same age and she has a learning curve that I sadly predict will include a divorce. I pray it's before she has kids, but probably not. 

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[–] kramermom 8 years ago

I also see Tony as a flake. I don't trust him as far as I could throw him!

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[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

On the tell all it was mentioned that Mykelti had some boyfriends that treated her very badly. I'm not sure why she would be with anyone that made her feel bad about herself but it could explain why she wants to feel safe.

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[–] Gothish 8 years ago

I think that's it right there.

Plus, having your life open to criticism from the world must make some people feel very vulnerable and insecure; having a strong partner to lean on would be a great comfort when people are analyzing your every word and picking apart every life decision.

"Two gin and Frescas"
"Shaken, not ridiculed"

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

On the tell all it was mentioned that Mykelti had some boyfriends that treated her very badly.

The siblings mentioned this when they first started talking about Tony. How many boyfriends has Mykelti had? If one boy treats you badly as a teen, that's an issue, but if you have more than one, that is a red flag. Mykelti should have gone into counseling, instead of getting married. Did Christine know about these boyfriends as the siblings did, because we know she wasn't aware of Tony. They talk about having more parents is good for the kids, but if you're so worried about your own problems and going to counseling when you stub your toe and not in touch with your kids, something is going to fall through the cracks. They seem to make excuses for Mykelti's behavior when they should have been parenting her years ago.

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[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

I agree-if my daughter was choosing to be with young men that did not respect her and that treated her badly, I would see that as a huge warning sign.

If Mykelti has issues with lack of confidence, or doesn't like herself, that should have been addressed before she entered into a marriage.

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

Many people have posted about Janelle's lack of parenting skills, but she seems to be in communication and in touch with her kids as opposed to Meri and Christine who knew nothing about their kids' major life happenings. I hope people quit criticizing Janelle about that.

As far as Mykelti, I think the road is going to be bumpy. I hope she continues her education and doesn't have a baby. I got the impression maybe one of the terms of her getting married was to continue her education. I hope so.

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[–] Gothish 8 years ago

Parents can only counsel and provide support, they can't prevent an older teenager or young adult from dating someone they don't like. Mykelti is headstrong and does what she wants.

I don't understand why one would find it odd that the siblings know more than the parents about what is going on. It is very common. There's just stuff you tell your sister or brother that you don't tell your parents.

"Two gin and Frescas"
"Shaken, not ridiculed"

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

Yes, kids do talk to their brothers & sisters more than their parents, but if a teenage girl was dating more than one boy who 'treated her badly', as they characterized it, her mother needs to know that. If she had more than one boy treat her badly, it started when she was a younger teen and not an adult.

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[–] Gothish 8 years ago

We don't know how old she was or how long these relationships lasted. And sure, maybe her parents should know, but it doesn't mean they did know. My parents certainly didn't know everything I or my siblings got up to, or every person we dated.

"Two gin and Frescas"
"Shaken, not ridiculed"

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

I understand that, but the point is, she had boyfriends, as in plural, who treated her badly. That's not normal and something a parent should know about and address.

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[–] Gothish 8 years ago

We also don't know exactly what type of treatment they are talking about. That could be anything from not calling or not being affectionate to physical abuse.

Certainly if it was to the point of abuse, verbal or physical, one would hope the siblings would step in and get the parents involved.

I forget, did Christine come out and say that she had no idea any of that was going on?

"Two gin and Frescas"
"Shaken, not ridiculed"

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

You're right and I've thought of what their definition of 'treating her badly' meant. I don't know if Christine said anything about Mykelti's past boyfriends. I didn't hear her say anything, just the kids.

I did notice something when they showed the episode from last week - Mykelti and Tony had a 'discussion' about how she would wear her hair at the wedding. How many men tell their girlfriends or wives how to wear their hair? That's another red flag to me that Mykelti might be someone susceptible to a controlling/abusive man.

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[–] Gothish 8 years ago

It is definitely a fine line. But I think they mentioned that Mykelti did get something her way in exchange for the hair.

Speaking from my own experience, my husband is one of those men who wants more input into things that most men wouldn't care about, like wedding planning, home decor, etc. He even used the same argument that was presented on the show, that it's his wedding too, not just mine. Now, he never said a word about how I should wear my hair, makeup, dress, etc, but he did insist on a more traditional wedding venue with a head table, while I would've been fine with a smaller, more intimate setting. So we compromised: he got the bigger wedding he wanted, and I got the honeymoon of my dreams. Win-win! Plus I selected the music, which was amazing, if I do say so myself.  We collaborated/compromised on most of the other things, and whoever felt stronger about the subject got his/her way.

Relationships are all about compromise. Yes, it sometimes can be disconcerting to see a woman bowing to a man's wishes. The hope is that things are usually worked out evenly, and that it's not a case of the man always getting what he wants. My husband and I are both strong-willed and opinionated, and that sometimes makes for conflict. But we compromise and work things out in the end. I'm hopeful that the strong-willed Mykelti we've seen before is still out in full force, and she isn't allowing her voice to squashed by an overbearing partner.

"Two gin and Frescas"
"Shaken, not ridiculed"

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

A bride and groom planning their wedding is the way it should be and is a good sign how their marriage will be. However, a woman's hairstyle and/or dress are not part of that. I remember when they had that storyline about Robyn's wedding dress. I cringed at that, but I think that was done for the show. I'm of the mindset that Mykelti is not so strong-willed, but is a cover. Why is she so different from the other kids - Mariah isn't even like that and she's probably the closest in that type of behavior. Maybe she felt slighted by Aspyn, Maddie and Mariah growing up? I do wish the best for her and hope I'm wrong.

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[–] geezwhatnext 8 years ago

I think Mykelti has thought of herself as a problem child for years. Christine even said a long while ago that Mykelti kept her up at night worrying than all of her other kids put together. I don't know what her issues were specifically, but being thought of as a problem has probably done a number on her self-esteem, and she may be caving into her boyfriend(s) and now, husband's wishes just to not be a "problem". Just a guess on my part.

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[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

If someone treated any of my kids badly their siblings would have stepped in and dealt with it. We are a very close family and my kids rarely kept much from us. Someone always blabs and gets things out in the open. 😉

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

You'd think that would happen with the Browns, but if Meri was so isolated, she was catfished, then I wonder how close they are, plus right now the older kids are not physically close. However, to me, it sounds like Mykelti had problems with boys before everyone went off to college and I'm surprised Aspyn didn't tell her mother, even if Mykelti didn't want to.

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[–] terriecoleman 8 years ago

Being in a big old polygamist family with a father you barely get to interact with is bound to have an effect on Mykelti. And to me it seems Mykelti and Christine really are not THAT close. Hell, she didn't even tell Christine about Tony.

Personally, I think that Mykelti is attempting to escape her family with someone that is just only infatuated with her. I also think Mykelti was extremely jealous of Madison and all the attention she got with the preparation for her wedding, and thus, why she was demanding to get married so soon. I hate to say it but I honestly don't see Mykelti and Tony lasting. There is something off about Tony and I don't know what it is. He needs to go check and see if he has a deviated septum or something because his speech sounds like he has a mouth full of cotton.

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[–] cinles 8 years ago

He is hard to understand - maybe it's because he's nervous. 

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[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

He reminds me of the way people talk when they have Strep Throat. In fact, I almost feel like gagging when I listen to Tony because it reminds me of that feeling of an extremely swollen throat. 😫😝

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