One time (And yes I'm a guardian) My niece was out of control. I slapped her hard enough to scare her but not bruise her! But she got the message, and new who was in charge.
Too many laws restricting how to discipline the kids. They they end up in Jail or the streets and get it worse then they would have at home.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason" George Carlin, R.I.P.
I hate when parents say I'd rather my kids respect me than be afraid of me.
I want my kids to be afraid of me.
I want them to know that if they even think about stepping out of line
Mom and dad will assist them in getting back in line by any means nessasary.
You don't know me.
You only think you do.
Exactly! For instance, my mom did not really hit me. But one time I got her mad and she pulled out the wooden spoon and gave me a few whacks. For the most part I behaved, but when I started getting out of line, all she had to do was grab it and I shut up.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason" George Carlin, R.I.P.
I got a whopping once... 13 years later I'm a deans list college student... Lol moral of the story whop your kids! These parents seem scared to say or do anything and these tv shows tell parents to put their kids in a "naughty corner" ? Wtf is that going to do ?
shareOne time I gave my niece a writing assignment. You know "i WILL NOT DO blah, blah, blah"
I said do it 50 times. She said legally, I couldn't make her do it more then 15. Then I made it 200, just to show her I could. She never tried that again.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason" George Carlin, R.I.P.
Slimers I wish I found out about you assaulting your niece when it happened because if I did you'd spend some time in jail. And when you got out of jail you'd have me waiting for you to teach you a lesson about assaulting kids.
shareYou really need to look up what assualt means. Unless you're kidding of course.
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason" George Carlin, R.I.P.
And you really need to understand that folks like your hero, George Carlin, and those who extoll the so-called Age of Reason are what brought us to this social state of things. You may want to deny or scoff at this all you like, but that changes nothing about tracing the line which leads to our present circumstances.
Youre an idiot, making your kid fear you is the most detrimental thing you can do to a relationship...I hope she grows up to hate you as I did my own mother who held the same very regressive and rigid codes of discipline...
shareThere is a difference between discipline and abuse.
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Ditto. My parents (mom, specifically) was very authoritarian and to this day I can't stand being around her and I don't tell her anything about me or my life. I present to her the life she thinks that I should have, and the me that she thinks I should be. I want my kids to feel comfortable talking to me and being themselves around me. I want them to feel comfortable coming to me with problems and questions as they grow up.
Physical/corporal punishment is not the only means to get your kid to respect you. All I need is to show disappointment or firmly verbally reprimand my daughter because she's so sensitive, she almost always immediately straightens right back up (after crying in her room for 20 minutes - god can you imagine PMS when that time hits?) Usually if she doesn't see her poor behavior, all I need to do is point it out to her and remind her how she's supposed to behave and she does. My son is autistic...you think I should beat him? You think he should be scared of me?
Spankings also aren't always effective. Solid consistent parenting is. I know many parents who whoop their kids (one specifically) yet her kid is the most horribly behaved child I have ever seen. Parenting in the house is very inconsistent. The child screams, bites, and hits back at his mother. Mom threatens to take away certain special activities or other things and yet does not follow through on this. You see them at the special activity she told him he wasn't going to.
There is a HUGE difference between wanting your kid to RESPECT you versus "being their friend". The latter is what is societies problem today. Too many parents want to be their kids friend, and worry that they will hate them for demanding respect.
The leftist, "no one should ever be held responsible for his/her actions / woe is me; don't you feel sorry for me / everyone is a victim, etc." mentality continues to erode the moral values of our society. Unfortunately, leftist groups like the ACLU succeeded in removing discipline from the schools. And has our educational system improved or declined over the past 50 years or so (when teachers were actually allowed to discipline students)? Gee, I wonder...
shareI don't think in any of the previous threads there has been mention of the word 'love'. I wasn't scared of my parents. I loved them. Not to say that I didn't get the wooden spoon several times after being naughty. Sure I did! But I grew up OK!! I am not psycologically scarred or whatever today's PC doo-gooders think will happen if i bad child gets a smack.
You can discipline a child and show who is boss in no uncertain terms but still have lots of love.
Yeah bc the parents on this show seem really into politics
shareOne thing I can't figure out.
Every one of these kids has a cell phone. Maybe the "first line of discipline" should be taking away the phone or turning it off when kids get off the rails. One of my friends had a son who was doing really stupid things. She had his cell phone turned off until he could behave. He came round pretty quick and now when he misbehaves all she has to do is say "phone". He straightens up right away.
No cell phone can be (I think) an effective form of discipline. The teenagers I know would rather lose a limb than be without their phones.
But that's just my opinion.
People don't need to be "really into politics" to have that mentality.
shareI don't believe in that.
Of course you have to put some guilt into them if they do wrong. And you can't be their friend. But a valuable true parent-child relationship is like a teacher-student relationship. The way a teacher-student relationship can't be too personal, the same for parents.
If you treat your kids with authoritarianistic attitudes then they're gonna hate you or worse. And this is all to common in bigot families.
If you treat them like you would a student, they'll respect you they way they respect their teachers. Physical discipline does have it's place, don't get me wrong. But sometimes saying "I'm disappointed in you" (which means you're upset) is enough to make a kid feel bad about their actions. Kids need love with discipline, not that authoritarian, KKK *beep* that makes you feel like you're in Stalinist Russia.
My parents were very strict on me when i grew up, (born in 1983) and the only real punishment i ever got was a ice cold shower as a 8 year old for calling my mother a witch, i never really got hit as a punishment but she knew to put the right amount of authority on me to respect her, when i did something i knew i messed up.
my stepdad and me never got along until i was 28, he hit me once right in the stomach when i was 7 years old and i never forgot him for this, when i was 17, he wanted to hit me again when i was out of control, but he knew i was too big to fight him. So using real violence won't help, a few pats on the ass as a kid makes them step back in line if its not hard enough. But using real violence like my stepfather who punched me in the gut, that is stepping over the line. People need to find the right line between authority and punishments.
Say it like you mean it, otherwise they'll end up kicking your ass.
They need to be taught respect, consequences & if they are afraid
to "try you", that's a good thing. Look back to when you were young
"testing" is part of human development & is crucial to finding ones
power & place in the world., that's where adults come in.
We're here to teach, support & assist them in the part of their journey
towards maturity & world citizenship. What adolescent,teen doesn't "hate"
their parent/guardian when they can't go or do where/what they want.
They'll love you for it when they're able. Rebellion is part of the deal.
They'll have plenty of mates, they need love from an experienced,long sighted, nurturing person.
How the hell do people rationalize a child, that has no experience
of how the world works, dominate them.
They can't even support themselves, they can't vote., yet they've been
empowered to their own discipline?!. That is so unfair to a child, a
massive blunder!!
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Well, only talented abusers know how to not leave a mark.
Truly Happy Mondayed.