MovieChat Forums > Jupiter Ascending (2015) Discussion > Man, this movie was GARBAGE

Man, this movie was GARBAGE

posted 9 years ago by HereComesMadness
5 replies | jump to latest

I have to come back to break up the circlejerks over this hugely misguided mess. It's awesome we have to follow a character that's in such a low place that she's selling her eggs. Great start there Wachowskis. From there, we get some of the most uninspired derivative trash that was ever graced the cinema. It's like they sat down and watched Man of Steel and Thor and cribed those parts to make a Frankenstein monster so ugly, woeful and stupid that the whole thing is embarrassing for everyone involved.

I like how they titled the movie Jupiter Ascending when the eponymous character gets thrown around and screams a lot, and doesn't really get to be the hero of her own film. Unless you count that lameass final sequence when she fights off the universe's biggest space sissy. Why not title the movie after the wolf guy? The costuming in the movie was from the low end of a 90s sci-fi punk show. So seeing the bounty hunters was always a laugh.

Utter nonsense and pure sht. Doesn't even conclude in a satisfying manner. They really thought they could milk a trilogy out of this dud. But, the best thing about this movie is that it sank the feature film careers of the Wachowskis, and thank the lord for that.

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No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] whatisthisidonteven2017 9 years ago

I have to come back to break up the circlejerks over this hugely misguided mess.

And yet you post exactly more of the same.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] HereComesMadness 9 years ago

There are idiots here saying it's better than Star Wars: TFW. That's not even subjectively true. These people need to be put in asylums away from the general public.

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No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

The nature of subjectivity means a person's opinion is always true because that's all it professes to be - an opinion. It's not hard to understand, and if you cared to get over yourself you'd realise that I can clearly explain why I prefer JA. And I didn't mean to denigrate TFA with that post, since I really like the film and it's probably right behind JA on my list of the top films of the year (I have seen TFA again since making the post about preferring JA, and while I still enjoy JA more I appreciated TFA far more the second time around).

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[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

All of your points are highly subjective, and I don't like the implication that a hero can't be from a low or humble origin. The most beloved heroes - Frodo, Harry, Luke, etc. - come from the lowest levels of society. Jupiter, who starts off extremely poor and desperate enough to sell her eggs to make some cash, is simply following in that tradition. And she does learn and grow over the course of her story, which is why it culminates with her literally beating down her abuser (to dismiss him as a "sissy" is to miss the point) and getting a happy ending of her choice - back with her family, with hope in her heart, and an awesome alien boyfriend to fly around with. It's goofy and silly, but it absolutely works in the context of the film.

The Labyrinth wiki!
http://labyrinth.wikia.com/wiki/Labyrinth_Wiki