MovieChat Forums > Jupiter Ascending (2015) Discussion > I hope it sweeps the Razzies to make an ...

I hope it sweeps the Razzies to make an example out of sci-fi hacks

posted 9 years ago by HereComesMadness
13 replies | jump to latest

JA may be this decade's Battlefield Earth. Problem is, the Wachowski fanboys are 5 times worse than Scientology, so it's still getting praise from their weirdo fanbase after the press gave it the kicking around it deserved.

So let this be a reminder to how this movie should actually be received, and laugh in the faces of anyone that tries to tell you it's cult classic. The only cult it's a classic to are the people that can't stay out of Andy and Lana's buttholes.

---
No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] whatisthisidonteven2017 9 years ago

The only cult it's a classic to are the people that can't stay out of Andy and Lana's buttholes.

I guess you must be considering it a classic then.

[–] HereComesMadness 9 years ago

How could I move in when you're greeting people at the door?

---
No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] catdogpyro 9 years ago

Easily the worst movie of the decade so far, it's up there with Grown Ups 2, Scary Movie 5 and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 to name a few

[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

Ha. I love that you're so terrified by the idea of people :gasp: having different opinions to you.

And don't act like it's only a niche of Wachowski 'fanboys' who enjoyed the film. I'm a girl, for a start, and I hadn't even seen The Matrix prior to seeing Jupiter Ascending - I was only familiar with Cloud Atlas (which I loved), and enjoyed every minute of Jupiter Ascending on its own merits. The comparisons to Battlefield Earth are entirely laughable.

And I take it that you're going to ignore that JA has more five and four star reviews on Amazon than it has one and two star reviews? Wouldn't fit the narrative, would it?

The Labyrinth wiki!
http://labyrinth.wikia.com/wiki/Labyrinth_Wiki

[–] Xenomaster 9 years ago

And I take it that you're going to ignore that JA has more five and four star reviews on Amazon than it has one and two star reviews?

Okay, look, the guy who started this thread clearly has no clue how to rationally argue anything, but your "counter-argument" is one of the worst possible ways to defend anything. The idea that because something is highly rated by people on a website, IT MUST BE GOOD is specious reasoning at its worst. You cannot claim something is good because it's popular. By that rationale, Donald Trump is a terrific candidate for President.

And I hated this movie. The heroine was completely useless and did literally nothing but stand there staring off into space while people explain things to her...or have Channing Tatum save her one predicament after another. The only enjoyable facet of this chore of a movie was the score. The music was brilliant. Other than that, it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

That was a response to this:

The only cult it's a classic to are the people that can't stay out of Andy and Lana's buttholes.

He was implying that the only people who appreciated the movie were a tiny minority of Wachowski fanboys, and I was simply demonstrating that that was not the case.

Personally, I don't give a crap about how popular/unpopular a film is - all I care about is my perspective on it. Popularity is a horrible gauge of quality - if it were used, Transformers: Age of Extinction would be one of the best films ever made.

The Labyrinth wiki!
http://labyrinth.wikia.com/wiki/Labyrinth_Wiki

[–] HereComesMadness 9 years ago

Oh SHT! Amazon reviews! Well that put me in my place. Let's not pretend it's a haven for shills and complete retards. No person in their right mind can come up with a good reason to see this trash. It has failed, the people have spoken. The Wachowski's fangirls are licking their wounds thinking of new angles to fight for this worthless movie and it's time to say "Stop!".

They have cost Warner's a ton of cash with new cinematic abominations that make no money and get laughed out of the market, yet we always have to hear from the cult of goons that think Cloud Atlas actually meant something that their work is worthy viewing. STOP, for the love of God, STOP! Lana Wachowski's ideas are now the equivalent of a maniac scribbling conspiracies in his own feces. And JA IS that feces.

There was no way a space wolfman saving a girl that was selling her eggs eventually becoming queen of the universe could have ever been a good idea. It's lunacy, it was even loonier to spend money to make it happen. That's not decent sci-fi, it's a girl high on shrooms scribbling in her diary. It's nonsense. And it's being punished for it. You should be ashamed of standing up for it. Free yourself of the cult and come to the realization that the Wachowski's haven't made anything worth watching since the first Matrix. The cinema is going to be a lot better when everyone can accept their wholesale rejection together.

No movie that ends up with 6 Razzies has anything to offer the planet except being humorous for all the wrong reasons. Jupiter Ascending doesn't even work on that level. It's an overblown, grotesque sinkhole that only makes me feel embarrassed for its defenders. Like, in a way that they should be actively avoided when it comes to any conversation about a movie, because their opinions are automatically null. Like flat-earthers, you just shake your head and walk away.

---
No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] whatisthisidonteven2017 9 years ago

Oh SHT! Amazon reviews! Well that put me in my place.

It has failed, the people have spoken.

Pick one.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

Oh SHT! Amazon reviews! Well that put me in my place. Let's not pretend it's a haven for shills and complete retards.

What a lovely person you are. No amount of insults will change the facts, I'm afraid. I must have missed the notice informing me that your opinion is more important that the hundreds of other opinions expressed on another site.

There was no way a space wolfman saving a girl that was selling her eggs eventually becoming queen of the universe could have ever been a good idea. It's lunacy, it was even loonier to spend money to make it happen. That's not decent sci-fi, it's a girl high on shrooms scribbling in her diary. It's nonsense. And it's being punished for it. You should be ashamed of standing up for it. Free yourself of the cult and come to the realization that the Wachowski's haven't made anything worth watching since the first Matrix. The cinema is going to be a lot better when everyone can accept their wholesale rejection together.

I'm really not sure why you're so vitriolic with your hate for this film. It seems crazy extreme to me, and I have no idea why you would expand this level of energy on hating something. I love the film, and I enjoy sharing my love for it and discussing it with others. It's as simple as that, and I'm sorry if you see that as a bad thing.

No movie that ends up with 6 Razzies has anything to offer the planet except being humorous for all the wrong reasons.

It has Razzie noms, but has 'won' nothing. And if you seriously use the Razzies as a means of determining what a bad film looks like, I feel sorry for you. I trust that you know that The Shining has several Razzie nominations to its name, for example?

The Labyrinth wiki!
http://labyrinth.wikia.com/wiki/Labyrinth_Wiki

[–] HereComesMadness 9 years ago

It has Razzie noms, but has 'won' nothing. And if you seriously use the Razzies as a means of determining what a bad film looks like, I feel sorry for you. I trust that you know that The Shining has several Razzie nominations to its name, for example?

Not several, two. One of which being Shelly Duvall, who's the movie's weak link. Because let's be honest, she never had a decent career after that. The other, Stanley Kubrick, because they had a hair up their ass or something. But you know the difference between Jupiter Ascending and The Shining? The Shining is actually worth watching more than once. The fact you tried to throw a Hail Mary to compare the two is laughable and desperate.

Jupiter Ascending is an afront to the senses and sci-fi storytelling. Which goes to show you can't throw tons of money at any old hokey concept and think people will accept it. No, I don't need the Razzies to tell me it's awful, they're only reaffirming what we already know. This movie is bad, and you should feel bad.

---
No one is on my ignore list, because I'm not a pussy
Never mind that $#!+! Here comes MADNESS!

[–] Rachael89 9 years ago

Not several, two. One of which being Shelly Duvall, who's the movie's weak link. Because let's be honest, she never had a decent career after that. The other, Stanley Kubrick, because they had a hair up their ass or something. But you know the difference between Jupiter Ascending and The Shining? The Shining is actually worth watching more than once. The fact you tried to throw a Hail Mary to compare the two is laughable and desperate.

Both films were nominated for multiple Razzies - I'm hardly stretching to compare them since they were both nominated for the same 'awards'.

Jupiter Ascending is an afront to the senses and sci-fi storytelling. Which goes to show you can't throw tons of money at any old hokey concept and think people will accept it. No, I don't need the Razzies to tell me it's awful, they're only reaffirming what we already know. This movie is bad, and you should feel bad.

Well, that's the Razzies reason for being, isn't it? They seize on the films and actors that happen to be on the hate list, essentially picking easy targets to gain the maximum publicity.

You're never going to accept or understand this, but film is entirely subjective. You can't objectively judge or determine the experience of watching a movie, so your vitriolic hatred of the film doesn't negate or take away from my personal enjoyment of it. And again, I'm sorry that you consider being a fan of something such a terrible thing.

The Labyrinth wiki!
http://labyrinth.wikia.com/wiki/Labyrinth_Wiki

[–] gate_angel_2001 9 years ago

What's wrong with this film, OP?