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Besides being lazy it's pretty obvious Catelynn feels guilty about Carly

posted 8 years ago by Cristiana_James_Wright
8 replies | jump to latest

She can't accept the fact that she's made so much money off of this show yet she gave up her daughter because at the time she and her mother were bouncing from house to house on section 8. It's like her reality is such a contrast to how she grew up that she feels like she gave up her fresh and blood because her whole world aka Tyler convinced her too. Look at Carly's birth, you could tell the way Catelynn held her and cried she second guessed her decision.

When I think back on 16 and pregnant, I completely get it. They were 15 year olds having a baby. Catelynn was in a situation where she was living with her addict of a mother and her step dad, another alcoholic was also the father to her boyfriend. It was chaos all around her and Tyler didn't want to add to that. Though, Tyler's mother is pretty stable. Let's say they didn't give up Carly, I don't see why it would have been wrong for the baby to live with Tyler. Not only that, the little money they got from the show, they would able to get an apartment (remember how happy they were when they got that place?) , and he got her a cute engagement ring. It wasn't perfect but it was manageable. They were too invested in the crap their parents were putting them through.

Now Catelynn can't go through a day without thinking about the daughter she gave up and you can see it's eating her up. She has a fat bank account for doing nothing. She can buy a house with a mortgage or with cash at just 23 years old and she's like why the hell did I give up my daughter if I can afford all of this? What do you think she's thinking about when she's sitting on the rocks by the water with a joint in her hand? Not just how the sky is blue but how she's missing out on everything with Carly. Carly probably looks exactly like Nova and being around Nova everyday reminds her of what could have been.

Tyler has dealt with this grief differently. He doesn't mind her being adopted but hates the fact that he's not in control sort of speak. It's like yeah you can adopt her but what's wrong me dropping by every once and while? Etc. Plus, the birth of Nova has eased his grief a little bit. It's like a kid with a toy. He missed his toy that he lost but he got another one so he's content. Catelynn on the other hand wants her new toy to play with her old one. Like in Toy Story. No matter how cool and awesome Buzz Lightyear was Andy would never get rid of Woody and it would always hurt him whenever he went missing.

"I never hear you speak and when you do you apologize for saving me?"

[–] Katiedidd 8 years ago

I completely agree. Good analogy with "Toy Story" too. I think Catelynn fantasizes about keeping Carly because they ended up making money from the success of the franchise that was not conceived of at the start. I have wondered if C&T would have even been chosen though, as "16 and Pregnant" may have wanted one story of a child getting placed for adoption. Still... Catelynn thinks "what could have been."

She was able to hold on until Nova was born, and having a child to raise didn't live up to the fantasy. It just haunts Catelynn that she can't be raising both girls. Tyler does treat it in more of a juvenile way, and it's allowed him to come to peace with it for the most part. Catelynn may even have let it fester that it's Tyler's fault that they placed Carly. She nay never voice it or even realize that's her deepest feeling, but I'm sure she thinks how she did it mostly for Tyler becsuse he threatened to leave. And where has it gotten her? Nothing but regret.

Of course, I'm sure Catelynn knows they also placed Carly because of their ages and the instability of her mother and his father... married to her mother back then. I wonder if Catelynn thinks, "my mom has it together enough now to watch Nova so much. Maybe it could have worked out with Carly."

Ultimately, Catelynn needs to work through this because it's a big part of her problem, and Nova is sadly paying for it. I wish Catelynn would get real therapy, pursue some sort of activity out of the house, and make something of herself. Knowing that she's hurting Nova when much of this is in Catelynn's control, makes me so frustrated with her.

[–] Cristiana_James_Wright 8 years ago

She was able to hold on until Nova was born, and having a child to raise didn't live up to the fantasy. It just haunts Catelynn that she can't be raising both girls. Tyler does treat it in more of a juvenile way, and it's allowed him to come to peace with it for the most part. Catelynn may even have let it fester that it's Tyler's fault that they placed Carly. She nay never voice it or even realize that's her deepest feeling, but I'm sure she thinks how she did it mostly for Tyler becsuse he threatened to leave. And where has it gotten her? Nothing but regret.

Bingo. Ding ding ding. Tyler even said this in therapy with the quack doctor. He knows her very well. He knows that whatever is bothering her she would never tell him because like he said she would think if I say something, he will leave me and he's trying to convey that it can get exhausting trying to figure her out. He doesn't know what to say because he was told not to make her upset but she doesn't help the situation by the way she's handling it. Which is why Tyler told the quack that it leads to resentment on his end. She just needs to tell him straight up like dude I'm so depressed because you told me it was the best thing to give up the baby and now I resent you for it but I don't want you to think this equals me wanting to leave you. They really need to address this because it's clearly the big fat elephant in the room and they're not acknowledging it.

"I never hear you speak and when you do you apologize for saving me?"

[–] fivestarhobo 8 years ago

She needs to let go of Carly. It actually brings tears to my eyes thinking about her pain but she needs to make peace with her decision. It is a sad situation but she needs to realize she didn't abandon her child, she's living a good life she has parents whom she adores and a sibling from what I've read. Maybe she feels like Carly will be hurt when she's older that she was given away and Nova was kept but she needs to stop beating herself up. Poor Nova is getting the crappy end of the stick. If only she would realize that, I think she would snap out of it.

[–] Melancholy11 8 years ago

Exactly,
katiedidd. I totally agree with you are saying.

They might have never been chosen for 16 & pregnant if it wasn't for the adoption. They also wouldn't have been able to predict the success of the franchise and the money and opportunities it would eventually afford them. Lastly, who would have ever thought April and Butch would be as functional as they are today. I would never have thought April would be a potential babysitter and Butch to be sober and out of prison.

[–] SugarSnapPea 8 years ago

I've been trying to make sense of Catilyn's depression and BINGO, you said it best!!! But it's time to move forward before she looks back at the last 2-3 years of Nova's life and watch herself napping on the couch or sleeping in a bed next to the den!!! She really needs to see the doctor, get her meds correct and enjoy Nova now before she's In her disrespectful teens and saying, "I saw you so upset and I was right there! Was I not good enough for you to enjoy me as a child!!!" Catilyn keeps saying she does not want Nova to see her this way, but she will on reruns of "Teen Mom OG" season 6!!!! Please Catilyn listen to your own words!!

[–] !!!deleted!!! (28128673) 8 years ago

Catelynn's life has been fraught with strife. Stress has caught up with her. If you've ever known a person with severe depression, they're exhausted. While many on this board are saying she should just get up and do something, there's a reason it's so difficult to do so. None of us have walked in Catelynn's shoes. If I had lost one of my children, I'd also be so deeply sad.

[–] Melancholy11 8 years ago

Brilliant analysis of the situation. Wow. I count have said it better myself. Bravo!

[–] !!!deleted!!! (28128673) 8 years ago

Thank you, Melancholy. You're very kind.