"Bullet holes to engines"? You'd need an awfully big gun to damage anything major on a 440 engine, especially when shooting at it from the outside of the car. A bullet from a typical combat-type handgun for example (like a .45 ACP) won't even penetrate a typical road sign. Most any gun could damage things like the radiator, distributor cap and other distributor components, valve covers, and so on, but those are all easy fixes.
In a worst case scenario (which would be extremely unlikely), you swap the engine, which takes a few hours. He's not much of a mechanic if he can't get ahold of another engine; a Chrysler 273, 318, 340, 360, 350, 361, 383, 400, 413, 426 (wedge), and 440 are all compatible with the existing K-member, though you'd need different motor mounts, bell housing, and torque converter for some of them.
I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.