MovieChat Forums > Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) Discussion > Things I learned while watching this mov...

Things I learned while watching this movie.


1. Witches know martial arts.
2. Common adventurers pitch campfires and eat snacks while they hunt witches.
3. A folkloric recreation of a fairy tale from the middle ages relies on plastified firearms and exploding bodies as its key themes to provide authenticity.
4. Electricity now exists like 300 years ago.
5. A witches superior battle armament of an enormous fireball that can destroy a house is too passe, so witches opt for spells that involve bugs and tree roots instead, because they're all about having flare at work.
6. The witch community employs a troll carpenter to build cages for children.
7. Dodging and deflecting bullets is like a requirement for being a witch.
8. Trolls are vehement advocates for women's rights.
9. Witches will only tell stories about your past by firelight.



"The ball I threw while playing in the park has not yet hit the ground." - D.T.

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10. Never walk into a house made of candy.
11. If you're going to kill a witch set her ass on fire.
12. If a witch's victim is about to hurl, expect a lot of blood.
13. Evil witches show signs of decay.
14. To kill a witch, chopping off the head works, as does ripping out the heart, and skinning, but burning is best.
15. A blood moon comes once a generation.
16. If you're not a good shot use a shotgun.
17. There are not many white witches.
18. Trolls serve witches.
19. If your parents abandon you it is for your safety, but don't worry because your great white witch of a mother will put a protective spell on you first.

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Lmao, I usually hate these topics but you posted the best "what I've learned" topic I've ever seen. I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you for being original and not just rehashing exactly what happened in the movie like most of the putzes on IMBD that create these topics do.

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20. When escaping a bloodbath, witches prefer to escape by flying low to the ground and thus susceptible to traps instead of above the trees.
21. After falling off a cliff and probably suffering broken bones and internal bleeding, all it takes is a jolt to bring you back to life.
22. In a time, when people get info from a town crier because most are illiterate, a village fanboy can easily get newspaper clippings from around the country.
23. White mushy stuff in streams is a big part of troll medicine.

Me fail English? But, that's unpossible.
http://www.store.fredjung.com



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24. Somehow Hansel and Gretal sounded like they were from Upper Midwest America with no hint of a Eruopean accent
25. Witches can use great amounts of energy over a long period without draining out
26. Somehow a generation is close enough towards figuring out how many years it is between the Blood Moons

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27. Conjoined twins make great warriors.
28. Famke Janssen is hot even with evil witch makeup.
29. Phonograph records were around in the middle ages.

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30. Gretel is one of the two greatest trackers and investigators in the world, but when she needs to find her brother, the best she can think to do is wander at random through the woods calling, "Hansel! Hansel!"

http://redkincaid.com

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31) Gretel is easily offended by witches without a second thought, but befriends and hires a fan boy who looks down her blouse and feels her boobs while she's asleep.

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