Marni was as bad and immature as Joanna - You Again (2010) Discussion

[–] SteveH2002 13 years ago

Agreed - but I think that was one of the points of the movie - it's easy for anyone to become a bully. Eventually Marni did begin behaving like an adult, about the same time that old wounds started to heal and everyone started being a little more honest with each other.

Unlike a lot of people here and out there in the real world, I thought this movie was okay (3/5 on Netflix). I wasn't bothered by Marni responding in kind thru most of the movie - it was about her learning that simply being mean to someone who was mean to you wasn't going to work. There's no obvious reason (and no movie) if she'd acted responsibly to begin with.

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[–] joeyjmpoff 13 years ago

What was really immature is JJ not owning up to anything & acting like she didnt remember the girl she tormented to save face. All while shes in her home & being a phony with her family

Id be kinda pissed to.

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[–] saramacg09 13 years ago

Yeah, I think that's why the OP said Marni was as bad and immature as Joanna...

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[–] kimberly-koshiyama 11 years ago

I agree, people who side with JJ have obviously never been bullied before. You may say that I'm overreacting and it's just a movie, but I've been bullied before and the emotional scars do not go away--I'm in my mid 20's now and the memories are still fresh. JJ never really apologized for what she did until she hit rock bottom and I don't believe fully changed, I was sorely disappointed with the ending.

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[–] tdaugherty2005 13 years ago

I disagree. It takes a bully to make a bully and I think Marni simply got tired of being the victim.

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[–] saramacg09 13 years ago

Which makes Marni a hypocrite... I'm certainly not saying that Joanna wasn't a bad person for what she did, but Marni started bullying Joanna because she didn't like being bullied. It makes no sense.

Both are obviously at fault here.

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[–] happyphantom9 9 years ago

Thank you. I agree with this. I am really tired of hearing people say "Well, you're JUST as bad for saying/doing this..." It doesn't work that way. Context is important. Sure, it's great to take the high road, but Marni was *reacting* to cruel and hostile behavior. It's not a level field, and it's not like she started acting this way out of nowhere. Instead of condemning the person who snaps from being treated badly, why not address the person who is treating them badly in the first place? It's like someone who gets angry from constantly being treated with misogyny or racism (or both), yet the person who is on the receiving end of these attacks is told to "calm down" and "stop being just as bad', when instead the *person who is saying and doing awful things* is the one who started it and should be criticized!

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[–] Pania8407 13 years ago

You were the bully in school weren't you?

If my brother were to be marrying the bitch who "tormented" me in high school i would do the exact same thing.

What's wrong with putting her on show like she did to her in high school?

Takes a bully to make a bully and i say she deserved it.

Good on Marni for giving her a taste of her own medicine, although i would've punched her in the face as soon as i saw her.

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[–] Ailec1987 13 years ago

WRONG.... I was bullied verbally/emotionally from grade till 8th grade but even I wouldn't act like a kid nor would I go all my way to try getting a fake apology. If I had to remind them that I deserve a real apology it won't be sincere anyways.
If you're already in your late 20's or early 30's but still want to bring up something from high school... it means you got lingering issues.

What would have been a better option would be to personally show the video to her brother and parents but not go through all that fiasco.

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[–] Pania8407 13 years ago

"What would have been a better option would be to personally show the video to her brother and parents but not go through all that fiasco."

Why? So the poor Joanna wouldn't be humiliated?

I do understand what you mean but she was hurt. And Joanna didn't say sorry which was why she was angry. And the little threat in the bathroom when Joanna said "Who is he gonna believe? " That just showed she was exactly the same. She got a fake sorry with a cheeky smile on her face.
I would NOT take that. I would have done the exact same thing and not feel bad about it at all.

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[–] Ailec1987 13 years ago

It's not about Joanna getting humiliated but rather Marnie not acting as in a professional level. Her career taught her to take control of the situation and not let it control you but she did the complete opposite. Afterall she's working in public relationships and that includes dealing with people you might not even let along with (as well as move on from the past and deal with it in better ways).

If she was hurt, there was the option to explain to her brother in private. Then again, I wouldn't go all my way spending ending hours on looking for an apology.

To be honest, I would be kinda annoyed too if someone told me to apologize and I didn't feel it. An apology comes when you truly feel it. Not excusing Joanna but if she really didn't feel sorry nor remorse then it just isn't there. Why would I have to say something I don't feel?

On the final statement is the part I halfway agree with you. If I were to do the same thing Marnie did, I wouldn't feel bad at all. I would have left Joanna crying on the fridge and wouldn't have accepted the ''Sorry I got caught'' apology.

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[–] mixedmed 13 years ago

Why? So the poor Joanna wouldn't be humiliated?

No, but it would have been nice if her brother and the rest of Marnie's family didn't have to go through that fiasco either. I'm sure her brother would have preferred to deal with JJ and her past in private than to have his fiancee's dirty laundry aired out in front of all his friends and family. At best it essentially made him look like a fool for not knowing this part of JJ's past and at worst an insensitive jerk for marrying someone who tormented his sister if he did. There were more people involved in this situation than just JJ and Marnie and while Marnie was right to want an apology from JJ (a SINCERE one), she was so blinded by her hurt that she didn't think that she was going to end up hurting her brother who was completely innocent in all of this.

Joanna deserved the humiliation, but Marnie's brother did not.

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[–] StrongRex 13 years ago

I'm sure her brother would have preferred to deal with JJ and her past in private than to have his fiancee's dirty laundry aired out in front of all his friends and family.

Well, Marni did try to tell him in private but he stupidly assumed that she was going to tell him that she adored Joanna and was happy for both of them, even though she said nothing like that. So it's his own fault.

At best it essentially made him look like a fool for not knowing this part of JJ's past and at worst an insensitive jerk for marrying someone who tormented his sister if he did.

He's both. Back when they were in high school, he should have had SOME clue of the type of person Joanna was. He was supposedly very close to Marni, AND Joanna bullied her at the basketball game RIGHT in front of him. Not only that, but she shoved her right into him as he was trying to make a shot. And what does he do? He blames Marni, and he blames her again from trying to keep him from marrying a liar. That scene where he is just a dense, moronic doofus made my blood boil, and I officially despised Will from that point.

There were more people involved in this situation than just JJ and Marnie and while Marnie was right to want an apology from JJ (a SINCERE one), she was so blinded by her hurt that she didn't think that she was going to end up hurting her brother who was completely innocent in all of this.

Again, she tried doing it the proper by going to him in private, but he was too stupid to listen. She did keep his feelings in mind, but if I were to marry someone, no matter how much I cared for her at the time, I would rather be seriously hurt when finding out what kind of a person she really is BEFORE I go through with the wedding, than live a terrible life with her further down the road. And he wouldn't have been humiliated if he had just listened to his sister WITHOUT interrupting her and assuming what she was going to say.

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[–] mixedmed 13 years ago

Well, Marni did try to tell him in private but he stupidly assumed that she was going to tell him that she adored Joanna and was happy for both of them, even though she said nothing like that. So it's his own fault.

What stopped Marnie from plowing ahead and telling him the truth? Trying means that she actually said something and he either didn't understand or refused to believe her. She didn't get the words out in the first place.

He's both. Back when they were in high school, he should have had SOME clue of the type of person Joanna was. He was supposedly very close to Marni, AND Joanna bullied her at the basketball game RIGHT in front of him. Not only that, but she shoved her right into him as he was trying to make a shot. And what does he do? He blames Marni, and he blames her again from trying to keep him from marrying a liar. That scene where he is just a dense, moronic doofus made my blood boil, and I officially despised Will from that point.

If I remember high school rightly, upperclassmen didn't pay much attention to what was going on with the underclassmen, and guys in particular aren't going to keep up with whatever strife is going on between other girls....and Marnie sure wasn't telling him about it either. The guy isn't a mind reader. As for the basketball scene, he didn't SEE what was going on because his back was turned when it happened...concentrating on making that shot, remember. And again, Marnie or anyone else didn't tell him what actually happened, so as far as HE knew the whole thing was her fault. And she did not disabuse him of this notion either. BTW I think that it was kind of strange that he somehow missed Joanna acting out towards Marnie if the school was as small as they said. It would have worked better if they went to different schools of if he had graduated before all this happened. But the premise is that he didn't know, so I have to judge it on that basis.

As for the dinner scene he was equally pissed at both of them. At Joanna for being deceitful and at Marnie for revealing the truth the way she did.

Again, she tried doing it the proper by going to him in private, but he was too stupid to listen. She did keep his feelings in mind, but if I were to marry someone, no matter how much I cared for her at the time, I would rather be seriously hurt when finding out what kind of a person she really is BEFORE I go through with the wedding, than live a terrible life with her further down the road. And he wouldn't have been humiliated if he had just listened to his sister WITHOUT interrupting her and assuming what she was going to say.

Again, what was stopping her from showing the video him in private? What was stopping her from telling him to be quiet and let her talk? If I have something important to say, I'm going to damn well tell the other person to shut it and let me talk.

That being said, I thought it was pretty unrealistic to have her brother marry her anyway at the end. At the very least they should have postponed the wedding. So they could sort their feelings out.

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[–] StrongRex 13 years ago

If I remember high school rightly, upperclassmen didn't pay much attention to what was going on with the underclassmen, and guys in particular aren't going to keep up with whatever strife is going on between other girls....and Marnie sure wasn't telling him about it either. The guy isn't a mind reader.

That doesn't change the fact that the two of them were close and had been going to the same high school for two years. Also, I remember upperclassmen and underclassmen in my high school interacting with each other. Two years is a long time to be going to school with somebody, especially your close sibling, and not know a thing about what's going on. Especially when JJ made it a point to humiliate Marni publicly on a regular basis. I don't care if she never told him anything, he had to have known something with their school being as small as it was. My high school was considerably bigger, and I still knew a ton of people.

Also, Marni could have been sobbing some nights, going to her mother, etc. Will probably had to have caught wind of JJ's treatment then.

As for the basketball scene, he didn't SEE what was going on because his back was turned when it happened...concentrating on making that shot, remember. And again, Marnie or anyone else didn't tell him what actually happened, so as far as HE knew the whole thing was her fault.

It was VERY clear that she was pushed into him! Maybe he didn't see it, but everyone else did. Even if he felt something hard, someone's whole body feels very different from their hands. Someone HAD to have told him what happened. Besides, JJ and her friends were bullying her the whole game, even as he was playing and changing his direction constantly. He HAD to have seen it at some point, at least out of the corner of his eye when he was taking a break from playing. Which leads me to question why a bunch of cheerleaders would distract themselves from the game for one person, and what's more risk getting caught by authorities that might have been there (teachers, principle, school police, etc.).

Also, shouldn't her body being sprawled out on the floor be yet ANOTHER clue? I'm sorry, but Will just has no excuse. And I won't buy that he didn't know because that was dishonesty on the part of the writers.

As for the dinner scene he was equally pissed at both of them. At Joanna for being deceitful and at Marnie for revealing the truth the way she did.

Marni told Joanna she was done, and Joanna kept pushing it and turned it into a fistfight (btw, I think Marni should have actually hit her). Again, Will had no sensitivity to how his sister was treated, and was a complete, utter jerk. So was her entire family, actually. He should have been thankful that he found this out about Joanna now, and I don't think he would have listened even if Marni HAD tried harder to tell him, or tried to show him the video in private.

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] scoup 12 years ago

Disagree. Joanna deserved the karma train coming back and running over her - big time. Marni was at the wheel and deserved to be. It should have been broadcast on youtube just like Joanna broadcast Marni on the internet. Marni was not a bully - she stuck up and exposed her for the fraud that she was/is.

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[–] torgerrose1 12 years ago

It was in the past. Marni's obsessive need to "out" Joanna basically just meant that she was still that pathetic teenager that JJ still had control over inside. Had she truly moved past it like she said, she wouldn't have allowed the past to affect her so. It's that whole not forgiving someone gives them power over you thing.

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[–] happyphantom9 9 years ago

But it wasn't just the past. Joanna was still the same, and Marni was STILL being bullied over the course of her own brother's wedding weekend.

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[–] genevaporter 12 years ago

Being the victim of a bully is an emotional trauma and people don't respond logically to emotional traumas.
She didn't pull anyone aside and explain it in private because she was ashamed of being a target of a bully, but events built up enough that she was willing to do anything, even reveal her own shame of being a target, to stop the wedding.
In Marni's view, she was acting defensively against someone who had relentlessly hurt her in the past, and was continuing to torment her. In her view, she wasn't sinking to Joanna's level, but fighting back in the only way Joanna could seem to understand.
That doesn't mean that what Marni did was right, but it's an honest response: contrary to popular opinion, hardship doesn't always teach you to be a better person. Often it makes you more selfish, because you learn that you can't trust other people to be kind to you or to help you. Marni acted the way she did because she was desperate not to become JJ's victim again, and if her family couldn't have helped her when she was struggling through high school, they wouldn't be able to help her now, particularly because they seem aligned with Joanna and her brother's happy union.

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[–] Tiffany1567 10 years ago

Agreed!
I think it's completely sad that people defend Marni who bullied Joanna as an adult, yet they attack Joanna for something she did as a child. No, Joanna wasn't right, but she grew up and became a decent person. Marni grew up and became the bully she hated in high school, yet that makes it okay because she was bullied? Marni was an adult when she did all this.

28 // Navy Vet

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[–] celeboy01 9 years ago

I dont think it would have killed Joanna to privately talk to Marni considering she clearly remembered everything that she did to her. Sure she was a teenager when she did it, but that shouldn't excuse what she did.

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[–] Ailec1987 9 years ago

yes and that would have been a sincere apology but nope, Marni had to remind her and tell her to apologize. What kind of apology is it when you had to demand it?

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[–] happyphantom9 9 years ago

No, Joanna wasn't right, but she grew up and became a decent person.

But she hadn't become a decent person. Her behavior and words after reuniting with Marni showed that she had not changed at all. She continued to act mean-spirited and devious. She was only pretending to be a decent, good person. She was not truly sorry until she had lost everything and was feeling sorry for herself in front of the fridge. Maybe Marni was behaving immaturely, but she was reacting defensively. I do not agree that her behavior was "just as bad" as Joanna.

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