How long would it take me to rewrite this story?I have a couple of ideas that would improve it,and hopefully make it better.Of course,there will be NO rape,and Freddie won't be a cokehead or a psycho.
I should have known those alien maggots booby trapped this sub.
write your own ideas and dont sanitize others.
shareI suspect that would change the story into something else altogether, considering how large a part of the story the rape, drugs, and psychotic behavior are to this tale.
I doubt it would be better, as it would likely not look anything like the current story. May as well compare "The Take" to "Winnie the Pooh", considering how different they'd be.
I also suspect your story would be much more dull.
Well,I have a FEW ideas:
1.Freddie gets shot and killed at the ecstacy deal and then the Turkish drug dealers go to war with Ozzie.
2.Freddie gets shot and survives.Maggie gets raped by one of the Turkish drug dealer's men and afterwards he tells her to pass on a message to Jimmy.
3.Maggie goes to the Turkish drug dealers and gives them Freddie's name and tells them that HE was the one that shot their man at the ecstacy deal.She gives them this information and in return they agree NOT to hurt Jimmy.So they would be the ones to kill Freddie.
That's all I can think of right now,I'll try to work on it.I haven't ACTUALLY started writing anything.
Maybe I could call it "The Take 2",kinda like "Phenomenon 2" which was a different version of the same story.
What do you think?
I should have known those alien maggots booby trapped this sub.