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What I learned watching 'A Dangerous Man'

posted 15 years ago by drsevrin
11 replies | jump to latest

1. if you are going to be in bed with a mafia choose the Russians over the Chinese.

2. if you want to make a old, overweight actor continue making action films speed up the action sequences and only show him for a few seconds.

3. Even old, overweight american special forces beat chinese special forces.

4. If someone says they are going to *beep* you up ugly" believe 'em.

5. If a skinny girl is shot with a rifle just jam a dirty old shirt in it and tell her she isn't going to die.

6. Dirty chinese drug money is ok to take and keep for yourself.

7. Saving a stranger's uncle is worth risking your life.

8. When it's after halloween and you still don't know what to do with that Dracula wig have someone sew it to your head.

[–] trelopedo 15 years ago

9. Don't mess with someone who just got out of jail for sth he didn't do

10. Have sex with your clothes on

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time

[–] ivan-308 15 years ago

11. Russians cannot shoot, even with AK-47s.
12. Chinese cannot shoot even with chinese made AK-47s.
13. SS can beat the life out of Russian doormen and chinese bad guys and never gets hit.
14. The first thing that you do when out of jeail is fu someone ugly and take their stolen vehicle.
15. A handgun bullet destroys wood worse than machine gun's bullet.
16. Russian mob start endangering their life for you the moment they meet you.
17. Chinese men with black on their face attack with flashlights in their hands.
18. A 58 year fat American ex-military man beats any and every man from anywhere no matter of how fit.

[–] senorlimpo 15 years ago

19. The wardrobe of choice for heroes of this decade include beige old man elastic waist stretch pants normally found in old age homes.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] newleaf 15 years ago

20. That if a girl's name is Tia, it's OK to call her "Tina."

21. That if you ever happen to find yourself carrying a bag full of shrink-wrapped $100 bills, you should always check to see if there's a transponder in there.

[–] cmdywrtr27 15 years ago

22. Throwing your arms aimlessly throughout the air like your a 14 year old girl fighting another girl over Justin Bieber really is Tai-kwon-do!

23. Watching right after you smoke a bowl, turns it into a comedy.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] BoogieDk 14 years ago

25. SS is sure to *beep* up any and all accent he ever attempts

Addendum: Oh and I too recommend watching this movie inebriated , its the funnies shi* ever!

In this world gone mad, we wont spank the monkey!
The monkey will spank us!
Jay

[–] joyruiz-accounts 14 years ago

26. You can compare a 9-year-old boy's butt to an Asian dancer.

27. A handgun never runs out of ammo.

28. ALWAYS remember to pick up a trigger for a bomb. Very important.

[–] BklynBryanCM 14 years ago

29. Some Russian mobsters like Vlad enjoy interspecies erotica.
30. If not for Shane Daniels, Tia would have been eaten by Jackals.
31. Chen was reunited with his 9 year old boy lover thanks to Colonel.
32. Chinese Gangsters pretend NOT to know English, but understand English when a State Trooper tells them to get out the car and open the trunk.
33. If you are a liquor store clerk and you witness a crime, give away the surveillance tape & count to 100 before you call 911 like you are playing a game of man hunt.

[–] thepartydjz 14 years ago

NEVER, EVER, EVER, WATCH A STEVEN SEAGAL FILM, PURE GARBAGE!