DOA On Arrival

I loved the original, filled with razor sharp wit (as the English have been known to excel with). But words cannot describe how painfully HORRIBLE this remake was..oh wait..yes they can. Look how far Neil LaBute has fallen from grace. His first movies were masterpieces of thought, dark humor, and razor sharp performances from actresses such as Stacy Edwards, Stockard Channing, and even Nastassia Kinski. But in recent years, movies such as 'The Wicker Man' (please save yourself the trouble of watching Nicolas Cage overract and rent the 1973 original) and 'Lakeview Terrace' (watchable, but derivative and formulaic), have dimmed his star quite a lot. This movie only serves to show how far the mighty have fallen. Even with Peter Dinklage from the original, repeating his role from the original, a fine cast, with seasoned veterans such as Danny Glover, Ron Glass, Loretta Devine cannot make this work. Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence, who can make even the darkest situations seems outrageous, rant and rave throughout the entire movie, acting as if they were earning their last paychecks. Luke Wilson is wasted (you wish he's taken some of the hallucinogenics instead of James Marsden's character, who isn't much better), and even the lovely Zoe Saldana, swearing like a sailor cannot pull this movie out of it's embarrassing decline into bathroom humor, gay subtext (which worked in the original, but here hits the negative stereotypes below the belt..no pun intended), and situations even the most diehard movie watcher would not be able to stop rolling their eyes at. Unfunny, overracted, completely useless wastes of talent, the script should have been buried along with the rest of the cast. Oh, and if you were like me, make sure you if you DO decide to take a chance on it..get it from Redbox..it's only a dollar..and you keep it one night. Guarantee you..you'll return it within the hour and half after you watch it.