100 things I learned from Birdemic - Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) Discussion

[–] dgaughan 13 years ago

4. Birds have three poses, and die only one way.

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[–] alifeatthemovies 13 years ago

5. Modelling gigs for Victoria's Secret pay well.

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[–] TheBeardedWonder 13 years ago

6. If you hear a mountain lion, immediately proceed back to your tree house.

7. Birds that died of the bird flu virus aren't dangerous anymore according to marine biologists

8. Eagles and seagulls make the same noises

9. Anytime you go to a restaurant, there will never be another customer anywhere in the whole place. You will also never get your food, the restaurant is really just for talking

10. Children like Happy Meals more than seaweed soup

11. You don't need to clean, gut, or behead a fish before you start cooking it on a hotplate you found

12. Eagles are allergic to coat hangers

13. Where is she? She's taking a S * * T

14. When someone does something good, clap for approximately 95 seconds

"No it's not you, I just don't like having dinner... with people..." - Paul Rudd

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[–] alifeatthemovies 13 years ago

15. Gasoline prices fluctuate wildly based on bird activity.

16. You can call someone who lives in a treehouse a "treehugger" even if they are not hugging an actual tree at the time.

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[–] TheBeardedWonder 13 years ago

17. ALWAYS pan the camera, whenever possible, every scene

18. Rechargeable mustangs only come in blue, and also film some AMAZING opening credits

19. Funk songs are always about hangin' out with your family, and having a good time

20. Birds cannot attack children who hide under cars

21. Global warming is somehow at fault for every bird attack

"No it's not you, I just don't like having dinner... with people..." - Paul Rudd

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[–] TaterMitts 13 years ago

22. A day without sex, is a day wasted.

23. An Inconvenient Truth was good.

24. There's an old guy on the bridge.

25. You can get into a girl's pants, with a Ferrari.

26. The sea is so beautiful.

27. The human species needs to quit playing cowboy, with nature.

Mein Fuhrer! I can valk!

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[–] bbruzzes 13 years ago

28. A single vague Powerpoint slide is enough for investors to give you millions towards your solar panel company.

29. The Eagles killed Becky.

30. You are more than welcome to bring your RC car to work.

31. Bird vomit is more toxic than cyanide.

32. Fires always occur in a small isolated area with a narrow plume of smoke.

33. If your daughter comes into town make her stay in a sleazy low-rent motel room no matter how well off you are.

34. Oracle is willing to spend billions of dollars buying small software companies who routinely give their customers 50% discounts.

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[–] JJCooney 13 years ago

35. You should always have a plan B

35. We should act more like astronauts or spacemen, and take care of our spaceship

37. Double decker busses have bulletproof glass

38. Catching fish then cooking the fish is a good idea

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[–] Jeb081387 13 years ago

39. if birds crash into the ground hard enough they explode.

40. its possible to have a forest fire w/ no smoke

41. GLOBAL WARMING is making the bark beetle popluations explode like a *beep* and dick over all the trees

42. When you tell people you're a model you need to always make sure you say you're a "fashion model" otherwise they'll mistake you for some other type of model....like....ummm.......

43. Even in the face of a bird-led apocalypse little kids will still want happy meals

44. Its possible to have sex with you gf in a rent by the hr motel room and still wake up with your pants on, zipped up and belt buckled

THE KILLING...where "ahh *beep* lets just say it was OJ" seems to be a logical ending

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[–] tkranjc 13 years ago

45. There's nothing like a nice picnic outside with kids, when birds are attacking and killing people around you.

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[–] abbyroselew 13 years ago

46. why pay reporters when we can digitally generate them?
47. the polar bears are pretty much all dead. just, all dead.
48. navy and black go together now according to the opening scene.
49. real estate is a stable career choice
50. the men with the smallest cubicles are the richest, despite common belief.

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[–] afilmaday 13 years ago

51. To put out fires and leave no markings, simply fadeout.

52. Birds with the flu sound like planes.

53. If you ever see a bird outside your house, assume the worse and board up the window with your furniture.

54. At Rod's workplace, they applaud in waves.

55. Being Rod gets you $1,000 reduction on solar panels.

56. Outside the empty bar is void of sound.

I say to you this. Come on... Come On! ... http://anyfilmaday.blogspot.com/

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[–] chrisreyes0 13 years ago

57. Children are not sad if their parents are murdered by birds, they just want happy meals

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[–] xeener 13 years ago

58. If birds are attacking gas stations and cars, IMMEDIATELY leave the shelter of your home or hotel, get in the car, and drive to a gas station.

59. Tree huggers wear awesome wigs.

60. If you want to be a serious model, go to the 1 hour photo for your portfolio shots.

61. Mattresses don't cover the whole window.

62. If you're in a car, and birds attack, get out of the car and shove one child under it and the other in the trunk.

62. Bullets? Psh. All you need is the gun.

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[–] mrmad2001 13 years ago

63. Fishing is easy in the raging ocean, as long as you stay on the shore and have a pole with no weight or bait.

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] Matt-60 13 years ago

68. Severin films will buy literally anything.

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] patxbox3 13 years ago

69. Cuts to the cheek kill instantly.

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[–] RCeditor 13 years ago

70. Hitchcock could have taken some lessons from Nguyen.

71. Nguyen makes such good use of low angle shots to prove important plot points. Such as the shots of the blonde waitress in the beginning.

72. Birdemic-ville has a restaurant/nightclub that has an invisible band.

73. I have the sudden urge to play Space Invaders.

THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic

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[–] keegan-basset 13 years ago

74. Eagles and Vultures refuse to obey the laws of perspective when flying away.

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[–] FreewayShark 13 years ago

75. Victoria Secret cover models and millionaires always go to small town pumpkin festivals.

Roll the ugliness

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[–] MrSambito 13 years ago

76. In the event of a Birdemic, don't do anything like hole up in your basement with all those supplies you got, just drive around aimlessly, putting yourself and those with you in constant danger of bird attacks.

77. If one of your friends is killed by said Birdemic, make sure to call the police. You know, just in case they haven't noticed what's going on.

78. When looking at a bottle of wine and the call comes to move out, make sure you carefully place the bottle back on the shelf before getting out.

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[–] hunter_kudjo 12 years ago

79. It is appropriate to complain about $100/gallon gasoline after becoming a multi-millionare.

80. It is appropriate to run around a post-apocalyptic world in dire need of supplies, even if you're a multi-millionare.

81. Forgotten red gas containers left on roads will eventually teleport back to your vehicle.

82. Irish pubs commonly play disco-influenced dance music.

83. Sick birds are highly combustible.

84. The trunk door of Ford Areostars can apparently be unlocked from inside the car (not the case in the real world).

85. It is possible to participate in intercourse without removing/modifying any article of clothing.

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[–] nuhc 12 years ago

86. Beautiful fashion models are attracted to geeky guys with no personality.

87. It's easier to shoot birds flying around 50 feet in the air than ones hovering 2 feet in front of your face.

88. Ford now makes a hybrid Mustang that gets 100 MPG but apparently only goes 20 MPH.

89. It's possible to get a beautiful woman's phone number by acting like a creepy stalker.

90. Fashion models and software salesmen can shoot birds in flight even though they probably never fired a gun before.

91. If an apocalypse occurs, don't pick up surviving children because they will need to eat 20 times a day.

92. Solar panel companies like to put solar panels on the roof.

93. $1,000 off a $20,000 solar panel system is a really good deal.

94. Tree huggers don't mind being called "tree huggers."

95. Hippie tree huggers have lots of problems, from cougars to spontaneous forest fires.

96. Karaoke night in an empty bar is the best time & place to show off your dorky dance moves.

97. It's fun to see how many times you can say the word "retirement" when chatting with your girlfriend's mother.

98. Ex-marines always drive around in a van full of automatic weapons & ammo.

99. When society collapses due to killer birds, credit cards will still be accepted.

100. When killer birds are flying around killing people, it's best to spend as much time outdoors as possible.

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[–] andrewakearney 12 years ago

101: Birds are terrified by coat-hangers.

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[–] nuhc 12 years ago

102. Birds like to fly in formation at a uniform distance from each other.

103. Rod's best friend's girlfriend only owns one T-shirt.

104. Rod thinks An Inconvenient Truth is a great date movie.

105. Man harmed the environment to the point where birds attacked & killed people, so the only solution is to drive around shooting birds, harming the environment that much more.

106. People who live in southern California are surprised that it's hot there.

107. Birds won't attack tree huggers, but mountain lions will.

108. Bark beetles will harm trees, but building a house on the side of one won't.

109. Arial font is the best choice for a movie's opening credits.

110. Waitresses like to point you to your table without saying a word.

111. It's possible to remain cheerful after you witness birds killing people.

112. Movie theaters were still showing the movie An Inconvenient Truth in 2010.

113. When a scientist wearing a surgical mask tells you to stay away because there are dead, diseased birds laying around, it's best to keep walking toward him.

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[–] htownsteve 12 years ago

86. In a movie about deadly bird attacks, the audience does not want to see any birds or reason for bird attacks for the first 39 minutes. This 39 minutes is used for sub-plots and foreshadowing.

87. If a man robs you of your gasoline at gunpoint, and is subsequently killed; you should leave the gas (that was $100.00 a gallon) and his gun (extra firepower) on the side of the road. No need to spend 15 seconds to pick them up.

88. Playing basketball is more fun when you play with ghost players. I.E. the court is completely empty, but you can hear ballers shouting on the court.

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[–] MrSambito 12 years ago

117. It's entirely possible for a man, a woman, and two kids to outrun a mountain lion.

118. When about to consummate your relationship with your new hot model girlfriend, don't bother bringing her back to your house or even going to her place; it's much more thrilling and erotic to rent a room at the cheapest motel you can find.

119. Plug-in hybrid Mustangs that get 100 MPG are great but they will disappear forever as soon as you meet your girlfriend's mother.

120. As a side note to #98, ex-marines also always have fishing rods and cooking gear in their vans.

121. An Inconvenient Truth gets Rod's friend and his girlfriend in the mood for "sensual work".

122. Making the cover of Victoria's Secret doesn't necessarily mean your modeling career has worked out.

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[–] PlanetTristan 12 years ago

123. If there is a heat wave in winter, time will warp and make fall the next season.

124. It's perfectly logical to have sex while wearing a bathing suit.

125. Coffee, orange juice, and water is a full breakfast.

126. No matter how cold or windy it is, long walks on the beach are always romantic.

127. If hiding from birds in a bus, it is safest to press your body against the windows, and scream for help.

128. When said help arrives, it is best to refuse to let them help you.

129. Mona Lisa is a perfectly acceptable first name for your daughter.

130. News channels use footage from Gettys Images.

131. Dead birds are only noticeable when you are right next to them.

132. Cuts on your neck will randomly appear and disappear during a birdemic.

133. If you run out of gas and someone offers to give you a ride, refuse to take the ride, threaten to BUY gas from them, then take the gas and walk the opposite direction of your car.

134. Even if you steal several gallons and 100+ bottles of water, you should stop to get more every chance you get.

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[–] tornadothing 12 years ago

135. When squatting down to poop, don't bother removing your pants

136. If drenched in bird acid, only your face will melt

137. Apparently getting your hands on a patent for miracle nano solar panels is really easy

138. Birds really love making plane sounds

139. White birds are good and black birds are bad

140. Sway the camera back and forth when some black dude is singing. Do this until motion sickness occurs

141. When filming the opening credits, hold the camera at an angle

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[–] eurashal 12 years ago

142. Salespeople have the personality of wood.

143. Going into random people's motel rooms during a bird attack is a good idea, as they have a steady supply of coat hangers.

144. Natalie would look great in that lingerie.

145. During a bird attack, you don't check to see if your friend is ok until you randomly pass his car. And you never check to see if your mother is fine either.

146. The first thing you ask your friend when he says he's got a new girlfriend is whether she's hot.

147. To prevent a wildfire, firefighters don't try to contain it and wait for the weather to stop it.

148. Daughters claim that their mothers want them to be real estate agents, but in fact they want what's best for their daughter.

149. Kids are incredibly annoying during bird attacks, wanting happy meals and playing PSPs after their parents died in said bird attack.

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[–] MrSambito 12 years ago

150. It's a good thing to be with your family. (I think that's what the guy says at the end of his song?)

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[–] rosethornshadow 12 years ago

151. After witnessing their parents' death and being rescued by strangers with guns, children will not be seen or heard unless they are playing a PSP, asking for a lollipop, contributing fun facts about seaweed or to request a happy meal.

152. If you're new girlfriend suggests going on a double date with her bff and her boyfriend, chances are the other boyfriend is your best friend.

153. Victoria's Secret uses Cover Girl models for their magazines.

154. Even though your boyfriend lives in the same town as your mother, if you want to have sex, you have to rent a room at a motel.

155. Cameramen for the local news are forbidden from filming below the newsanchor's shoulders.

156. The local news uses giant TVs to show stock footage found on Getty Images when reporting their stories.

157. All ex-Marines have at least two guns in their van that magically never run out of ammo.

158. Fashion models don't know what an ornithologist is.

159. When filming a first date, always have the couple meet at a restaurant serving cuisine from your homeland.

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[–] leigh_not_lee 12 years ago

160. It’s important to show the hero’s morning commute in lengthy detail; otherwise the audience might think he makes at least part of the journey by teleporting.

161. News anchors are relegated to a tiny corner of the screen as punishment for over-enunciating the letter “t.”

162. If you announce an upcoming auto race featuring Hollywood celebrities, don’t bother naming any of them. The public isn’t interested in famous people.

163. Appropriate questions to ask when…
…you’ve established that you and someone else went to high school together: “Are you from here?"
…your friend asks if you’d like to go on a double date: “Why?”
…you aren’t making any revealing sound whatsoever: “What does it sound like I’m doing?”
…contemplating the beauty of the ocean and the origins and genetic makeup of humans: “So what?”
(Similarly, “I’m going to take an early retirement” automatically means “I am not going to buy a car.”)

164. The NCT Software dress code requires women to wear gray trousers.

165. “Lingerie” is plural and “krill” is not.

166. When you call it a day after playing basketball, proceed to a closed part of the fence, not the gate.

167. Solar-panel salesmen will patiently wait until the camera’s rolling before they hand you your contract. (See #173)

168. If you work for Imagine Peace and you go to a motel with your boyfriend, don’t forget to bring a sign showing the foundation’s name and web address to hang on the wall.

169. When double dating, you must remind your friends which movie all of you just saw.

170. The environment may be getting ravaged, but it’s still equipped with background noise that knows exactly when you talk.

171. You should have your characters say “Look!” and point out a little girl pretending to pull a tractor or a flock of doves chasing eagles away after the audience sees it, not before.

172. When you discover birds hovering outside the window in the morning, that means they’ve been “attacking all night.”

173. Global warming leads to bird flu, West Nile virus, and incompetent editing.

174. A couple of really thin branches will support a treehouse and the man who lives in it.

175. Wilderness-dwellers notice what goes on around cars and gas stations much better than people who use cars and gas stations do.

176. After the number of people in your vehicle has been reduced by one due to a taking-a-$#|+ mishap, the vehicle is somehow “full” now.

177. USA -->

178. The presence of a fishing rod and a portable stove in the trunk will surprise you even if it’s at least the third time you’ve looked in there.

179. If it’s a long way from the road to the shore, leave the stove so you have to go back for it.

180. Be sure to announce as seductively as possible that you have gathered some seaweed. If you are the boyfriend acknowledging this, do so while facing away from your girlfriend.

181. When crediting footage from one of your other movies for Tippi Hedren’s appearance, don’t put the title in italics. That way you can make people think the footage just came from a couple of mysterious friends of yours named Julie and Jack.

181½: And something I learned from the DVD extra in which Bonnie Steiger interviews James Nguyen: if you didn’t bother to learn how to pronounce your interviewee’s name, it is perfectly acceptable to introduce him to the audience as “this director here.”

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[–] DeathMasqueRed 12 years ago

182. Natalie looks *fine*

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[–] shani-3 12 years ago

183. Nathalie is not just a fashion model, but a "very pretty" one--as opposed to all the ugly fashion models running around.

184. During the birdemic, kids will approach the candy aisle of a deserted convenience store and dutifully take just one candy bar each, and not fill their arms with the entire shelf's worth.

Yeah, they're dead; they're--all messed up!

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[–] greypatch3 12 years ago

185. The ability of birds to explode when attacking is inversely proportionate to how far away the camera is located from the object being filmed. Thus, half a city block can be destroyed when the camera is located on top of a hill looking down at it, but from 10 feet away from a car the worst that can happen is minor windshield cracking.

186. Putting a mattress in front of a hotel window that is clearly already indestructible makes it double dog indestructible.

187. When the birds finally come to kill us all, we should rest easy in knowing that interstate traffic will be largely unaffected.

188. Gas stations will either be entirely abandoned and ripe for plundering, or perfectly functional and charging exorbitant prices for their stuff. There shall be no in-between. Also, no bottle of champagne will ever be stolen.

189. Exactly one person has purchased all the Imagine Peace merchandise, and she lives in a lighthouse.

190. There is a way of making Marc Singer's agonizing run towards the horizon during the end credits of Beastmaster 2 seem brisk and energetic.

191. The townsfolk from console RPG games do exist in real life, and they're just waiting to tell you all about the horrors of global warming when you walk up to them.

192. With just the right angles, lighting, and focus, any location shot can look like it was filmed in front of a green screen.

193. No one can really know what it's like to live in Half Moon Bay until you've been shown about 40 minutes of it.

194. Toons is the world's blurriest nightclub.

195. It is possible to misplace the keys to your like-new Mustang and not overturn every piece of furniture in California searching for them.

196. One can make a movie chiding mankind for its harmful effects on the environment and yet show eagles being shot and exploding without a hint of irony.

197. Someone will knock $1,000 off the price of their product if you arbitrarily ask them to do it.

198. If your company is ever bought for a billion dollars, RC cars will magically appear in the conference room.

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[–] TerminalMan 12 years ago

I learned that if...oh, I hear a mountain lion! I have to go! It was nice meeting you!

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[–] mattallison2003 12 years ago

199. The plural of 'cast' is 'casts'

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[–] aleksalynn-3 12 years ago

86. Birds explode when they crash into things. Except when they don't. Then they just make a wet cement "thud" noise.

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[–] tadtheman-ts 10 years ago

86. When no one is talking, firing a gun or being attacked by birds, the world is a silent void

87. Someone who has never fired a gun before can hit the target first time

88. Someone who was an ex-army officer needs 10 or so attempts to hit a target

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[–] trcrock 12 years ago

70. A war vet who's supposedly "tired of war" can still keep assault rifles and other guns with unlimited ammo in their vans.
71. R&B karaoke singers love to sing about how men are attracted to their grandmas.
72. In case of a bird attack, wait for other birds to chase the attacking birds away.
73. In case of a bird attack, if you're in a grocery store, be sure to leave all the free stuff you picked up in order to run back to your car.
74. If a bird kills someone who stole your spare gasoline, make sure you leave said gasoline behind to escape.
75. Hollywood celebrities love to have races in hybrid cars.

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[–] Redhawkof2008 11 years ago

55. Being Rod gets you $1,000 reduction on solar panels.

Son, you got a panty on your head.

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[–] noahsilver42 12 years ago

86. Coherent sounds are irrelevant

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[–] KrankorVsPrinceOfSpace 12 years ago

200 -
Sometimes, a light conversation with your mom, about good things happening in your life, can end with REALLY awkward pauses...

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[–] 12 years ago

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[–] MrSambito 12 years ago

208. If you have no idea how to end a scene, just have a character say they hear a mountain lion and everyone has to leave - pronto.

209. It's not copyright infringement to rip off John Lennon's "Imagine" as long as you title the copycat composition "Imagine Peace".

210. If you decide to leave the U.S. Marines because you are sick of people killing each other, steal a bunch of their guns on your way out to emphasize your point of view. They also might come in handy if birds attack humanity.

211. Whenever you buy something, anything from solar panels to chocolate bars, always ask the salesman if there's any way they can lower the price. You never know; it just might work.

212. Aspiring supermodels can go from a 1-hour photo shop to the cover of Victoria's Secret in a matter of seconds.

213. The best choice of ringtone for a supermodel is the sound of a bicycle bell.

214. Even if you can't always speak clearly, don't give up hope; you could still become the world's most successful software salesman.

215. Even though you're a multi-millionaire, it's best to take your hot new girlfriend to cheap restaurants and pumpkin festivals on your first few dates. That way she knows you're not pretentious.

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[–] shk_okwd 12 years ago

216. Stop! It might be infectious!

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[–] trekkie313 12 years ago

217/87.) Your main actor should have the charisma of a "wooden rod".

218/88.) Slowly walk like a creep with *beep* in your pants when following someone you want to date.

219/99.) Walking on pavement sounds like dirt.

300/100.) Wild parrots are native to California?

301/101.) Park nearly a mile away from the movie theater even though no one else is there.

302/102.) Coat hangers are super effective!

303/103.) Humping office furniture and your best friend is a great way to celebrate becoming millionaires.

304/104.) Take your time in abandoned stores and look around awkwardly, only taking the bare minimum of supplies.

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[–] YouPregnant 12 years ago

when you fire a gun you will get 2-3 kickbacks for each shot fired

there nothing weird about 1 guy singing to 2 people dancing

birds will continue to squawk even after you have killed them all

forest fires start randomly in small patches

halfmoon bay has a pumpkin festival

white people only eat asian cuisine

anything can be a movie

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[–] RCeditor 11 years ago

232. The Nha Trang restaurant opens Mon-Thur at :00, and Fri-Sun at :30.

233. Psycho eagles are killed with red paintballs.

234. Half Moon Bay parades move very slowly.

235. The best way to have a character deliver a monologue is to play too-loud music during his speech.

236. Cameron's is such an exclusive nightclub… lounge... bar… pub… um, restaurant (I guess) that only Rod and Nathalie are allowed to eat and dance there.

237. The Cameron performer can do his own backup singing.

238. Nathalie can do the Funky Robot (sorta).

239. One can study dead birds without any tools, instruments, or recording devices whatsoever.

240. Rod has an extremely long commute to his job.

241. During an avian apocalypse, head for the shore, where there's no shelter.

THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic

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[–] untidyfan 11 years ago

242. Supermodels don't wash their hands after using a park restroom.
243. Salesmen who conduct million dollar transactions have really tiny cubicles.
244. Telephones don't work during a birdemic, but credit card machines do.

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[–] hforsberg960 11 years ago

HAHAHA omg, thanks guys, my sides are burning now. No but seriously, Birdemic is the most hilarious movie I have ever seen, and these comments make it better, please continue.

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[–] MrSambito 11 years ago

245. Anyone who ever made fun of geeks in high school should be thoroughly ashamed of himself because the king of all geeks is now a multi-millionaire with a beautiful girlfriend and a Mustang.

246. If your daughter tells you she wants to be a supermodel, discourage it and tell her to become a real estate agent instead. This won't create any animosity between the two of you.

247. A good way to endear yourself to the woman you are pursuing is to tell her you think she'd look great in lingerie.

248. Wanna know a really funny joke? Tell your friend who has a B.S. in computers that his B.S. stands for "bullsh!t".

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] MrSambito 11 years ago

250. A good pre-intercourse ritual is to put on the James Nguyen film Julie and Jack and stand against the wall on the other side of the room to watch it.

251. Having a truck and a trailer will keep you safe from bird attacks.

252. When birds are attacking cars and gas stations, it's best to pull over to the side of the road and roll down the windows.

253. With acknowledgement to the guys from Rifftrax, corporate sales and patents will always come out to very simplistic figures like $1 million or $1 billion.

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[–] MrBuzzcut (54) 3 years ago

254. Natalie will look great in those lingerie.
255. Natalie looked fine in the cheap motel scene.

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[–] lorddeseiz 11 years ago

I just learned that theres actually people wasting time on this, and now i did too by looking it up on IMDB, OH GOD IM A MORON TOO !!!

*gunshot*

_____________________

Collection
http://www.imdb.com/list/4zXrE3AAzT4/

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